Is a week too short for NC or getting back to him about proposed friendship?

[NCgirl155]

I'm sorry that this is long, feel free to skim!

 

My ex boyfriend and I are both 16 and we'd been dating 4 months long distance(2 hours). We only saw eachother 2 times during that b/c we were both busy with school. He broke up with me 3 days ago b/c he said the distance was getting too difficult, he felt like he was holding me down/not making me happy, and he wasn't sure how much he'd be available text/FaceTime wise this summer and he didn't want me to "waste my summer on him". Things had been tense for about 2 weeks because I was annoyed by his lack of contact and that may have contributed as well. We were eachothers firsts for a lot of things, we were eachothers first kisses, I was his first serious girlfriend, etc. This breakup happened over a 10 minute phone call. I followed up with a text a few hours later and he asked if we could still be friends because he would be "glad to be friends". Even when he broke up it seemed like he was still taking my best interests into consideration and he told me after that he didn't want to hurt me. If the breakup was genuinely only because of the distance and he still cares about me, I understand why he wants to be friends and I would want to be friends too. The more I understand it, the less hurt I've found myself to be feeling.I actually find that the more i come to terms with the fact that it's over, the better I feel. The next day I texted him and asked him to give me a call to talk things over but he read it and didn't reply. I was absolutely miserable for 2 days but I've come to the understanding that long distance is hard. I want to be friends with him as he is a great person and we ended on fine terms. At this point I don't want to get back together with him but I'm not sure how he's feeling. I do want him to be part of my life though, especially as we get older. If he wants to continue our friendship, I understand that he will eventually get a girlfriend, and yes, I will live with it when it happens. I genuinely want him to be happy. I've read about the 30 day no contact rule but under these circumstances I feel like a week or so is better because we're long distance so it's not like we're seeing eachother around or anything. I want to send him this after the week is over " hiii I don't mean to bother you but I just feel like I need to talk to you about some things and if you don't wanna do that over the phone and rather do it over text that's fine with me or if you want to wait to talk that's fine too but I kind of just have a few questions and I'm not mad or anything I just wanted to talk some stuff out because I'd really like to stay friends if that's still what you want so if you don't mind just lmk if/when you're available to talk :)" (I gave him the option of texting or waiting to talk because I want to be polite and he had also not replied to my text about giving me a call, so maybe he doesn't want to talk on the phone). I don't see why contacting an ex when things have ended on fairly good terms is considered such a sin, our relationship was based on honesty and communication and that's just the kind of person I am. And if it doesn't work out, that's life I guess and I accept that that's a possibility, but I'll never know unless I try. Maybe if we remain in contact something will happen later on in our lives when we can be geographically closer (he always used to say things like that). Or maybe we'll never talk again after I send him that message. Right now just must not be the right time for us to be together. Either way, I'll survive!

I'd appreciate any advice

[mightycpa]

Now is not the right time, because you aren't in the right place.

 

Trust me when I tell you that as a sixteen year old girlfriend, you are going to be a ton happier with a 16 year old boyfriend that you can reach out and touch and hold hands with and give wet, sloppy kisses to on a regular basis.

 

LDR is tough enough on people who know how to be in a relationship. No offense, but you don't. You're just learning, and so you need to get a local training partner.

 

Don't rule it out for the future, but right now? No. You can do better for yourself, and he deserves the exact same thing.

 

You have plenty of time to reconnect, if that's in the cards.