lostboyfromsouth Posted June 28, 2015 Posted June 28, 2015 (edited) The Story So Far. Ex broke up with me first time because she felt we'd drifted apart (i took her for granted) 9 weeks later she broke up with me again saying that i was becoming possessive, i was to be honest. We spent 4 amazing days together ( 2 nights at hers, 1 day trip out, and then the next night spent at her parents. In the morning she made me lunch for work, kissed me goodbye but then that evening broke up with me?) When my Ex broke up with me she said she needed a months break off and to have no contact during this time. She said we'd meet in a months time out side her house to talk and have 'Clean slates?' and for us to both get better (Her feeling too smothered/ and me to control my anxiety and obsession) Also her closest friend texts me every week or so asking things like 'am i going out tomorrow night?' or shell send me a screen shot of something funny on her phone? Why do this?!?!?! Is she trying to find things out for my ex? Also my ex seems to look happy in photos, has she completely forgotten me? I've learnt that the way i acted was wrong and that my life doesn't evolve around her and she needs her own time. I also haven't contacted her during this month at l and neither has she contacted me. She like a photo i put up on instagram of me and friends out in london, why would she do this? Ive also got everything under control such as a new job, going to the gym, re joined my band, meet with friend etc.. Im super nervous about this meeting because i fear that shell say she's happier by her self! I feel that that will just crush me a third time even though i keep saying to my self that we've already broken up. But at the same time i don't want to let her go in my head completely because I'm just left on the ropes at the moment! PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Edited June 28, 2015 by lostboyfromsouth Spelling and more story
Indreams Posted June 28, 2015 Posted June 28, 2015 Photos of her on social media etc may not reflect the truth, no one is as happy as they post. post are made for attention, likes, etc. Her friend messaging you is her way of keeping herself in the loop, knowing what your upto, etc. everyone deserves a second chance, or in your case third, the hardest part is learning from the past and making the necessary changes to ensure mistakes arent remade in the same way. but if it is over, the hardest part is convincing the heart to accept what the mind knows, the heart needs more time to accept this. either way, you need answers, she either needs to come back to you or let you go, keeping you as a reserve or backup is not acceptable or fair to you.
wizer Posted June 28, 2015 Posted June 28, 2015 Sounds like you messed up a good thing by being obsessive, possessive, jealous, insecure, clingy, anxious, etc. You haven't changed in the month off, you're even more anxious than you were before. If you cannot or will not change your attitude then even "if" she was to give you another chance, it's just going to blow up on you again. So start focusing on other things in your life besides her. Assume it's over, and you're ok, and do what you'd normally do (besides looking for some other woman). Then if she comes back you've taken steps to become more independent which is what she wants you to do and she happens to be right- this whole insecure clingy needy thing is just bad news all around. 1
Itspointless Posted June 28, 2015 Posted June 28, 2015 She said we'd meet in a months time out side her house to talk and have 'Clean slates?' and for us to both get better (Her feeling too smothered/ and me to control my anxiety and obsession) Also her closest friend texts me every week or so asking things like 'am i going out tomorrow night?' or shell send me a screen shot of something funny on her phone? Why do this?!?!?! Is she trying to find things out for my ex? Also my ex seems to look happy in photos, has she completely forgotten me? I've learnt that the way i acted was wrong O yes, you are a bad bad boy ... No. Apparently the breaks seems to be for you not for her. I actually doubt she wants to get rid of you. Perhaps you made some mistakes, but I have to say that I do not like her controlling behaviour. That being said, being possessive is controlling too, it is for you to find out if she was right or just projecting and if you like being examined like this. 1
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