Jadeec Posted June 28, 2015 Posted June 28, 2015 Hey, Basically I'm writing on here to try and understand why this has happened. Me and my boyfriend have been together about a month now. We have known each other for 8 years always liked each other but the situation has never been right. Now this time it seems like it is, well up until now. It was my birthday on Friday and he was just so amazing! He brought me a beautiful watch, I'm crazy about animals so he took me to the zoo and he got 12 amazing roses sent to my house on my birthday before I saw him. He has also done a lot for me as well for example his 'friend' has way to much time on his hands and he hates the fact he is with me. He slags me off all the time so he has told him that if he can't be happy for us then they can't be friends anymore. Also his mum died and all last night he was going into so much detail and really opening up about what happened and stuff.. So after he went home today I went to see my grandad and I had to overwhelming feeling to just text him and tell him I loved him because I do I have from before we got together.. So I did and I got no reply he just completely changed the subject to them talk about something about his work.. He later on asked if I was ok.. I said yes you? He replied are you sure?, so I said well I feel about stupid and he just told me that I shouldn't feel stupid! I mean come on how can I not! I made a complete and utter idiot out of myself! Also we haven't had sex because we went to try and he 'couldnt' so now I've got 10 million things going around in my head. Does he just value me a lot as a friend but wants something else but the feelings aren't there! I just don't know what to think or do! I don't want to badger him into saying it but I would like to know where I stand without looking crazy! Please help guys!
Grumpybutfun Posted June 28, 2015 Posted June 28, 2015 Breathe, OP. This is going to be ok. It sounds like he has a lot going on emotionally with his mother's passing. It also sounds as though he accepted your declaration without stopping the relationship from going forward. One month, even with years of friendship behind it, may have been moving too fast for him. Also, it concerns me that he "couldn't" respond sexually...what exactly happened? This could be about a him and grief or depression. I highly doubt a man who isn't into you would put that much effort into your birthday or to drop a friend if he wasn't into you. Do not assume anything....this could be simply a matter of him feeling overwhelmed. Best, Grumps 3
d0nnivain Posted June 28, 2015 Posted June 28, 2015 Really. . . you sent a text? Ugh. Texting is a horrible way to convey emotions. You have also only been dating a month. He may have wanted your declaration to mean you love him as a friend or the way you love ice cream. He may have skimmed it. All in all it was a bit on the early side despite your 8 year friendship and it was one of the world's worst mediums. Click "do over" in your mind & take a mulligan. Pretend you never texted that & continue your relationship in the normal course. 9
Lansing Posted June 28, 2015 Posted June 28, 2015 Its done now but maybe he didn't take it as being "Serious" because you texted him it vs. actually saying it to him on on one. If a girl texted me that I wouldn't know how to respond either even if I did love her...because a "me too" would sound kind of lame. 2
Versacehottie Posted June 28, 2015 Posted June 28, 2015 I think it was just too soon for I love you. I guess if you meant it there's never too soon. Though sometimes is safest to hold back a bit if you think the thought will overwhelm the other person and it be way too soon for the other person. A month in is generally on the whole "too soon" for most. So it sounds like he appreciated the thought that's why he checked in on you even though he didn't reciprocate it by saying it himself. I wouldn't want someone to say that to mean if they didn't mean it yet. It's just a risk you take when you're the first person to say it. Don't have expectations of the other person saying it back. His actions say he is really interested. I would go with that and continue acting as normal. Be the cool person he has strong feelings for. I think the "I love you" will come in time if things keep going as they have been. Good luck 1
katiegrl Posted June 28, 2015 Posted June 28, 2015 I think it was just too soon for I love you. I guess if you meant it there's never too soon. Though sometimes is safest to hold back a bit if you think the thought will overwhelm the other person and it be way too soon for the other person. A month in is generally on the whole "too soon" for most. So it sounds like he appreciated the thought that's why he checked in on you even though he didn't reciprocate it by saying it himself. I wouldn't want someone to say that to mean if they didn't mean it yet. It's just a risk you take when you're the first person to say it. Don't have expectations of the other person saying it back. His actions say he is really interested. I would go with that and continue acting as normal. Be the cool person he has strong feelings for. I think the "I love you" will come in time if things keep going as they have been. Good luck This^^ and sweetie, you are not an idiot! Please get that thought out of your head right now, okay? The timing for saying it wasn't good, and he did not know how to respond that's all. I agree with Versachehottie, his actions say he cares about you ALOT....and has strong feelings for you. So focus on that and forget you even said it....no biggee. And big hug ((hugs))...cuz me thinks you need a hug right about now.... Everything will be just fine....and good luck! 2
Gary S Posted June 28, 2015 Posted June 28, 2015 Listen to Katiezilla. Despite what you see on TV, most guys don't say "I love you" to women. But you know by the way they treat you. Whatsamatter, you don't like Squint Eastwood Men are not women - and Katiezilla is super-human 1
Author Jadeec Posted June 28, 2015 Author Posted June 28, 2015 Thank you so so so much! I honestly feel so stupid! How embarrassing lol he is being really good with it bless him.. And katiegrl thank you so much! I do really appreciate it! I asked him what was going on in his head.. His reply was 'I really really really really really like you and care about you a hell of a lot and you mean the world to me. The thing is I know what you're like you'll be offish with me now. Xx' So I'm just going to try hold back my thoughts and see where it goes Thanks again everyone! Xx
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