changeofseasons Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 When i was in the process of getting my ex back i went ballistic and bought every ex back systems that sucked me in. A good amount of these are scams and some of them actually worked. It was very hit or miss, but i feel that alot of these use marketing ploys that pander to a person who is emotionally unstable/desperate for answers, but only a few genuinely help. Anyone else have experience with these types of programs? If you google a specific type of system you can never find an honest review, almost all reviews are made by the company and its so freaking obvious lol. Looking back im ashamed that i spent so much money on these, but you tend to do craycray things when you're brokenhearted. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 It is business. Don't feel bad. We all fall for it. I learned quite a bit from some materials that I chose, however (Homer McDonald, Mimi Tanner, Bob Grant in particular). But as you say, there is a particular genre that is the "same old, same old." I finally started a thread in the pinned area of the "Separation and Divorce" forum of the most helpful resources and ideas - that are free. The link is in my signature line. Others also contributed some great resources. Have a look. Maybe you might like some of those. Yas 2 Link to post Share on other sites
yxalitis Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 I've got the "Text your ex back" pdf's They are pretty good, but do rely on your ex being a tad...naive. I also find them to be all fairly similar. They ALL without fail suggest NO CONTACT for AT LEAST A MONTH. After that I think it's up to you, after all, you know your ex better than any random guy on the interwebs, or, indeed, people in these forums. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author changeofseasons Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 Very true, i bought 3 obscure programs that were basically the same thing, that was $100 down the drain.. Alot of them use manipulation as well, i never felt comfortable with that and even when i did try it it backfired on me. Link to post Share on other sites
yxalitis Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 Very true, i bought 3 obscure programs that were basically the same thing, that was $100 down the drain.. Alot of them use manipulation as well, i never felt comfortable with that and even when i did try it it backfired on me. Oh, you too huh? I sent: "Hi [name] I was shopping yesterday when Madagascar came on, and it reminded me of the time we all sat down and watched that together, brought a smile to my face" This was SUPPOSED to remind her of the good times in the relationship and set the scene for future messages...instead I got: "I'm sorry, but please don't remind me of things like this, I'm not interested" So, yeah, there's that! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author changeofseasons Posted June 29, 2015 Author Share Posted June 29, 2015 ohmygod YES haha its so ridiculously fake, i learned very fast that those never work out. Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 They should call them "how to manipulate others 101" LOL since that is what they are. I am sure some of them are successful though...if a person is really good at manipulating other people then it stands to reason they would pass on knowledge to others of how to do the same. I think though one must ask themselves how far they are willing to go...I mean if you want to manipulate another person then do you really love and care for that person? Not really 1 Link to post Share on other sites
OdysseusCA Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Very true, i bought 3 obscure programs that were basically the same thing, that was $100 down the drain.. A lot of them use manipulation as well, i never felt comfortable with that and even when i did try it it backfired on me. It's also worth learning what not to do--because not only does it not work, it makes things worse, and the chances of a reconciliation even more remote. Like arguing, reasoning, whining and pleading. I did all of those. Still got her back, but only NC really works for that. Link to post Share on other sites
wizer Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 They should call them "how to manipulate others 101" LOL since that is what they are. I am sure some of them are successful though...if a person is really good at manipulating other people then it stands to reason they would pass on knowledge to others of how to do the same. I think though one must ask themselves how far they are willing to go...I mean if you want to manipulate another person then do you really love and care for that person? Not really Its true. A person who has been dumped who is willing to do whatever to get the dumper back, is only thinking of themselves and what they want, not what the dumper wants. It's human nature, we're selfish, that's just how it goes. But when you think about it, it makes zero sense to try to win back a dumper, you've been dumped for a reason. Link to post Share on other sites
theredpill Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Best thing is to walk away and start dating, if they do come back like my ex/ex did 4 months after deciding someone else was a better option, you've got plenty more options on the table. It's hard, but the best option undoubtedly. She got the "not so fast tiger, I'm happy with the person I'm dating... hope you find what you want" talk about getting your power back 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 When i was in the process of getting my ex back i went ballistic and bought every ex back systems that sucked me in. A good amount of these are scams and some of them actually worked. It was very hit or miss, but i feel that alot of these use marketing ploys that pander to a person who is emotionally unstable/desperate for answers, but only a few genuinely help. Anyone else have experience with these types of programs? If you google a specific type of system you can never find an honest review, almost all reviews are made by the company and its so freaking obvious lol. Looking back im ashamed that i spent so much money on these, but you tend to do craycray things when you're brokenhearted. Agree about the cray, haha. IME it's not any "system" that works, it's applying a very basic set of principles. The results are very suspect tho bc the principles applied are fundamentally dishonest. You bscly 'trick' your ex into getting back with you by making them think you're someone you're not. Link to post Share on other sites
Frogwife Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 (edited) My ex left me almost a year ago because I hadn't been treating him well. He was (understandably) very hurt and angry when we broke up and remained that way for a long, long time and wanted nothing to do with me. I did all the desperate searches for "get your ex back" and the NC was the biggie. I'd always had amicable remained on good terms with all of my exes (two long 5-10+ relationships and one marriage - I still talk to my ex husband every day!) so not being in contact with an ex was new to me and very painful to be cut out like that. As many people have said, NC is only a tool to move on and permanently sever ties. There is nothing wrong with taking time out when emotions are fresh and raw, but completely cutting someone out is not likely to bring them back in any permanent way (yeah, the married guy upthread whose mistress left him for a other married guy and then "came back" only when the other guy dumped her could be seen as a "success", but ...) I never voluntarily stopped contact with my ex, but respected the months where he was too hurt and angry to speak with me and left him alone, as he requested. Slowly over the last seven months we did a two step forward, one step back approach to reestablishing contact. I was the "dumpee" and I re-initiated contact and our relationship is slowly, SLOWLY rebuilding itself. We went from him screaming "I don't love you anymore, never contact me again!!" and being angry for the better part of a year to him sending me vacation photos and personal mementos of our time together and engaging in nice conversation. I also did a lot of therapy to work on the issues with me that caused me to treat him so poorly. My is not a "second chances" story, because we are not back as a couple (yet, or ever) but we are at least laying some groundwork. In my life (and I am in my late 40s) I have had a habit of reacting strongly and emotionally when I am feeling pain, hurt, etc... I read the blog of someone called Love Doctor Christine Akiteng and it REALLY REALLY REALLY helped me in the very delicate dance of trying to reconcile. She does have paid services, but there are hundreds of free articles with lots of great comments and advice and I never paid for anything. She is NOT a "no contact" advocate at all for people who want to reconcile. No contact (not talking about taking a little breathing space) is to be used to permanently sever a relationship. She advocates that the person who wants the relationship back the most is the one who has to do the hard work in the beginning, initiating the contact, etc. and that yes, you risk the chance of being hurt again, but there is the possibility of risk and hurt in every relationship we enter into, old or new. Sure you can disappear and hope your ex comes back out of fear and/or curiosity, but using a game (no contact) to trick them to come back is not going to bring healthy people back and very unlikely for any real length of time. Edited July 24, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Meli22 Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 None of them "work" or change anything because every break up and individual is different, but they all have the same concept. That's go no contact, live your life bla bla bla. And your ex will soon realise that you're doing good without them and that attraction could re spark. It makes sense but anybody could tell you that, you don't need a guide. Plus there is no guarantee AT ALL. Some exes come back and others don't. Following a guide won't change that. It's kind of cruel because when people are heartbroken and desperate for their exes back, they buy into this kind of stuff. But hey that's how a business will market themselves, and it obviously works for the business. Link to post Share on other sites
theredpill Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 That's very true, don't think they offer much more than hope but at least they have some tips to stop people going overboard. When you know what people are going through, pains me reading some posts because you know exactly what they mean. All the key points are in the books, no contact, have fun, meet people. At least there's some benefit and would probably help get the ex back if he/she was going to come back at some anyway, instead of chasing them away. Link to post Share on other sites
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