stuck between my ex and gf

[jayjayg]

I had been in a relationship with my ex for 6 years. The last 6 months were really brutal. I met her when her oldest kid was 3 and her youngest was about to be 1. So I raised them all that time, there real dad was never in the picture so he was never an issue. Well the last six months of our relationship she was always going out with her friends and coming home late. I would stay at home with the kids while she went out and drank with her friends. I didn't mind her going out but it became almost an everyday thing. She was also really mean to me always wanting to fight she even got physical a couple of times. She threw her phone at me. Cheating was never an issue with us the main thing was the fighting and verbal abuse. She isn't a very mellow person like I am. She stresses out over the littlest things and reacts in a mean way. Always frustrated. I was always the one who kept things together and never yelled at her when she was yelling at me.

 

So short after that like a month before we broke up a girl who I knew in college came into the picture. The story between me and her is that 3 years ago we met in school. We were attracted to eachother but we both had girlfriends at the time. So nothing ever happened but we became pretty close friends. Once school was over we lost touch and never really spoke again. She had told me she fell in love with me so every year on my bday she would call from a random number to tell me happy bday. I never thought nothing of it o just would say thanks and that was it. Well she had txtd me asking me something and we just kind of hit it off from there. She wasn't in a relationship anymore and I was having problems with my ex. I started distancing myself from my ex and would hang out more with my current gf who was just a friend at the time. Things started getting romantic shortly after. She was nice to me and made me feel wanted. She gave me everything my ex didn't give me. So I decided to break it off with my ex gf and move out of the house we had. I moved in with a family member and continued to date my current gf. When I left my ex I didn't think she was gonna care since she wouldn't pay attention to me. Well my ex broke down and cried to me and begged me not to leave but I had my mind made up. Also my current gf basically hurried me onto leaving her because she would get jealous that I still lived with her even tho I would sleep in the kids room. So I was a little pressured but made the decision anyways. I stayed in contact with my ex because of the kids. I would still pick them up on weekends and stuff. Well maybe a month after I left my ex my gf asked me to move in with her and I did. Well we were doing good for that first month until I noticed she was on her phone alot and I showed her a lot more affection than she did. I was the first one to say ily to her and she kind of froze and started pushing me away. Well one day my phone was dead and I needed to check some stuff online so I asked her for her phone. She was a little hesitant to give it to me but I told her I would be quick. Well when I was on it she got a txt message and I didn't read it but it showed the name and part of the message on top. It was from her ex so I asked her what she wanted and she said she was talking to her about a bill they had together but the message said nothing about a bill so I confronted her about it and she just got defensive and asked me why I was going thru her phone so I just dropped it. A couple days later I went to visit the kids and my ex was there. She was just talking about how they were doing in school and stuff. So I sat there and kept asking to myself what I was doing. Why I had left her after so many years. So that day I left and went home and about a week and a half later I decided that I couldn't be with my gf because she probably still had feelings for her ex even tho she said she didnt. When I told her I was leaving she just said I can't be here when u leave and left. I packed my things and went back to my family members house. She txtd me a little after than telling me she didn't know why I left and she wanted me to stay. But I had made up my mind. Like two weeks after that I started talking to my ex again. She told me things would be different with time to just give her a chance to change but I felt impatient and she was making changes but in a moment of stress I felt like she was that person I was trying to get away from. So a couple weeks later I started talking to my gf again and we got back together and left my ex in the past. Well a couple months after that my gf moved in with me at my parents house. So we have been living together now for the past couple of months. But a month ago on my bday the kids called me to say happy bday and I missed them so I went over there to my ex house and I started having a couple drinks and took shots with my ex and a couple Co workers. Well I got so drunk that I passed out on the couch. My gf kept calling my phone but I was passed out so I didn't hear it. Well she went thru all my personal info and pulled a bill I had with my ex and found her address. So she looked it up and drove by and seen my car outside her house. I woke up around 3 am and noticed the missed calls and messages. So I left my ex house and went back home. Well for the past month in a half I have been accused of cheating. I can't be on my phone without her snatching it from me she grabs it when I'm a sleeping and goes and when I mean she goes thru it i mean everything you could.look at. And we have been fighting and every night she cries to me and tells me I don't love her even after sex she says I'm doing it just because but that I don't love her. But I do. I went to my ex house to see the kids but it looked like something else. So now I'm in a relationship where I can't leave the front door without being questioned. I told her that I'm not doing anything wrong and that I love her. But I feel like I'm back where I was with my ex at the end of our relationship. My gf can be cruel and mean to me at times because she feels like I'm cheating all the time. And I get it it's my fault even tho nothing happened with my ex. But she can take it too far at times. She even told me she doesn't think she can ever get over it. She always tries to leave me but I get her to stay with me and she does. Than the night comes and she stays up crying. I called my ex a few days ago just to see how the kids were because ever since that happened my gf doesn't let me see my kids anymore. So I hide from her to call them. Well when we were talking we got into a conversation and before I knew it we were talking for over an hr and didn't realize it.

 

My question is what should I do. Should I keep fighting for my gf or should I give my ex a second chance. She told me she still loves me and that she's doing better with her stress. And I do miss her and my kids. I'm just so confused. Do I fix 6 years or do I fix 6 months. I get a different type of crazy with each of them. My ex has issues with stress and frustration but my gf doesn't trust me and I don't think she ever will.

 

What advice could I get?

[TaraMaiden2]

.....What advice could I get?

 

1: separate your post into legible easily-digested paragraphs. It's in the Guidelines....

 

2: Have nothing more to do with your ex OR your current GF.

 

Where is it written this is a purely 'either/or' choice?

They both sound horrendous.

 

I'd distance myself from the pair of them, to be honest.

[jayjayg]

I'm sorry I'm new to this stuff.

 

And yeah I was thinking of just giving myself time to just work on myself. It's just scary for me to be alone.

[TaraMaiden2]

I'm sorry I'm new to this stuff.

 

And yeah I was thinking of just giving myself time to just work on myself. It's just scary for me to be alone.

 

Jeesh, get your priorities organised. It's a helluva lot scarier being with either one or the other!

You'd prefer to be subjected to this treatment, rather than be your own boss?

 

Oh...Kay.....

[casey.lives]

learn to let go. in the end .. you will not only be hurting your current girlfriend but your ex(she can't move on) and those children(they are NOT yours!)

[jayjayg]

I feel like they are my kids because I raised them. But I hear that alot. I guess the best thing is to just let them both go. It's just hard.

 

I make up my mind than once I see her I'm like not I can't let her go