treehugger101 Posted June 27, 2015 Posted June 27, 2015 I still live at home with my parents, going on 28 this fall. My mom is always pointing out things about how I date etc. She recently told me about my Boyfriend and the distance between us, we live about 45-1 hour away driving. Both of us have our driver's license and he has a car. I have a driver's license but since insurance would cost about $1,400 a year or a month or whatever the deal may be, my mom said no to me driving. Plus it would cost $1,000 to get the car I would use fixed up. So she says my Boyfriend is going to get tired and annoyed by always having to come down here, pick me up, take me back to his area then back to my place etc. Him and I have been doing this on and off lately but after hearing my mom tell me this, it makes me think he will get fed up and not want to be with me. My mom did suggest I could sleep over his place but she says it's okay now but then she will complain about me doing it later. Then she keeps assuming or insisting that him and I are going to have sex and I am going to get pregnant etc. Then it went on to me needing a job and only then I could do this or have this or that. I have been looking for work, applying to places, but have had no luck in landing a job, or an interview. If I did get a chance at a interview or a job my anxiety would creep up and prevent me from going for it and then I would never have a job. I keep thinking that My Boyfriend is going to leave me because I won't ever drive or work. I wish I was like everyone else and had that car and job and people could be proud of me but I don't and I don't think I ever will.
TaraMaiden2 Posted June 27, 2015 Posted June 27, 2015 "Whether you think you can, or whether you think you can't - You're right." Henry Ford. I completely agree with you.
loveweary11 Posted June 27, 2015 Posted June 27, 2015 Don't put too much value on a car and a job in the dating world. For example, I'm trying to find a compatible chick *without* a car or a job. Or at least someone willing to give those things up and travel. There are guys like me out looking for this... so your guy may not mind. Sounds like your mother is making you a little edgy and causing you to over think.
Grumpybutfun Posted June 27, 2015 Posted June 27, 2015 I would be more concerned about the fact that at 28 your mother is treating you like a child. Instead of worrying about by issues that haven't happened yet, time to get your life on track. Find a job so you can be independent. Rejection is hard but keep trying. You will only build self confidence if you accomplish things in your life. You may have an anxiety disorder so go see a professional about it. There is real help for anxiety and you need to move past this so you can have an independent life. Small steps everyday towards your independence. Good luck, Grumps 1
Clarence_Boddicker Posted June 27, 2015 Posted June 27, 2015 Just get any job, even a 1 day a week pt one to get started. How have you avoided work for 12 years? Once you get a job, do good & unless you can move up in hours and pay, don't stay longer than 6 months. Save most of your money to get a car & insurance. That car might not be worth fixing up. Is there a bus or train service to your bfs city? Unless your county doesn't have the MAP, you can't get pregnant unless you want to. If BC fails, take the MAP within 48 hours.
casey.lives Posted June 27, 2015 Posted June 27, 2015 guys do look for women who have a lot to offer... :/ you need to manage your own business.. your mother is not privy to affecting your relationship.
Guitarisgood Posted June 27, 2015 Posted June 27, 2015 28, what a time to be alive! Even if that is a mis-type and you're 18 on the cusp of adulthood. It's time to throw the shackles of control off and go out into your own world and grow up and make your own mistakes and live life. My girl lives that far away and I would not if I genuinely loved her. Love is circular. Maybe now you rely on him but in the future he may need you to lean on.
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