emt Posted June 27, 2015 Posted June 27, 2015 I'll keep it short and simple for you all, I have dated plenty of people and just got out of a relationship with one person that we just clicked so well and everyone saw it. Monday morning I left her place with her saying I don't know what I have done to deserve a guy like you I'm glad to be able to call you my boyfriend you're so amazing. Later on in the day I brought up how I was bothered how her ex sent half naked pics to her and that she was keeping us a secret it seemed. She asked what to do about the ex and I said I can't give a correct answer because its a friend of hers and don't want her to regret anything. She blocked him and the next morning she was like I don't know why I have to block someone I have know for a while for someone new. I told her that's what I was trying to avoid. I was also kinda pushy for making the relationship all serious etc instead of just chilling and let it take its course. so the combination wasn't the best. Next day she said she had forgiven me but she has a wall up that will take time to come down. so the next day I texted a little bit trying to figure things out but not much. Following day she called and let me know after thinking a bit she can't wrap her head around what happen and that she doesn't see her feelings growing from what they are. Then followed up texts saying she just can't be as invested in the relationship as I was and that she needs to get her head right and that she will always be here for me and to not be a stranger. I realize my mistake of pushing something that I should of never done which ruined something great that both parties had a blast with. I wish I could go back and take things slow and make it last like it would of. I'm just curious does any one think with time that this is salvageable or not and if so what steps should I take? Biggest thing I have going for me is I realize what I did wrong and accept it and just focusing on myself right now and not contacting her for atleast a few weeks. Thank you for all your suggestions and opinions you give.
Grumpybutfun Posted June 27, 2015 Posted June 27, 2015 Unfortunately you went way too fast and seemed over eager. New relationships take time and patience to develop. Also, jealousy isn't always appreciated by all women or men. It denotes insecurity so maybe work on not getting too invested too quickly and not trying to control the behavior of another person. Once a relationship is established you can discuss parameters or boundaries with exes. I think she has already labeled you in her head as insecure and controlling so the best thing to do is learn a lesson from this and move on. Only if she contacts you do you have any contact with her. I know you are disappointed with this advice, but I honestly think if you pursue her you will only be rejected or nicely put in a friend box. Good luck, Grumps
Tater Salad Posted June 28, 2015 Posted June 28, 2015 You know what I never do? Send half naked pics to my exes. If I did, I'm sure there would be a restraining order shortly thereafter. Girls that hold onto exes and call them "friends" have other issues at hand. Be glad it happened this early on, and not 5 years down the line. If she was truly open and ready for a new relationship, she would have completely severed ties with her ex. A lot of women might disagree with me, but I have never kept a friendly relationship with an ex that I wasn't trying to get back with or sleep with. Move along. 2
casey.lives Posted June 28, 2015 Posted June 28, 2015 men go where they want to go.. he's not with you...mmm...move on
Author emt Posted June 28, 2015 Author Posted June 28, 2015 Unfortunately you went way too fast and seemed over eager. New relationships take time and patience to develop. Also, jealousy isn't always appreciated by all women or men. It denotes insecurity so maybe work on not getting too invested too quickly and not trying to control the behavior of another person. Once a relationship is established you can discuss parameters or boundaries with exes. I think she has already labeled you in her head as insecure and controlling so the best thing to do is learn a lesson from this and move on. Only if she contacts you do you have any contact with her. I know you are disappointed with this advice, but I honestly think if you pursue her you will only be rejected or nicely put in a friend box. Good luck, Grumps Thank you for the response and I understand and agree with what you say. Do you believe there may be any chance that she will want this down the road when things settle down and she has her head straight because I know she loved everything before the argument. Just wish I wasn't the guy I was being pushy and everything. I plan on moving on just kinda holding on a little bit with a little hope she may.
dumbass2 Posted June 28, 2015 Posted June 28, 2015 Sounds like she loved the honeymoon period and so did you, but then the ex stuff came in to play. Same thing with me and I tried putting an end to that stuff and it ruined what we had going. I tried to label things instead of just enjoying her and what we were doing and giving it more time. She broke up with me and I did not fight it. It was a tough last month together so I didn't take it hard at the time. I did start to miss her after a month and mistakenly sent her a letter. She responded by phone and we talked and nothing came of it. After a couple of ignores I went NC for 3 months and she contacted me and I had just started dating someone new. I'm not saying if you do that that she will, but the thing is you decide it is over and try to move on and you never know what will happen, but if you don't let go and give it a good amount of time, you will never ever have a chance, however slim it might be. I am not back together with my ex and we never reconciled, but we communicate occasionally.
Author emt Posted June 30, 2015 Author Posted June 30, 2015 Sounds like she loved the honeymoon period and so did you, but then the ex stuff came in to play. Same thing with me and I tried putting an end to that stuff and it ruined what we had going. I tried to label things instead of just enjoying her and what we were doing and giving it more time. She broke up with me and I did not fight it. It was a tough last month together so I didn't take it hard at the time. I did start to miss her after a month and mistakenly sent her a letter. She responded by phone and we talked and nothing came of it. After a couple of ignores I went NC for 3 months and she contacted me and I had just started dating someone new. I'm not saying if you do that that she will, but the thing is you decide it is over and try to move on and you never know what will happen, but if you don't let go and give it a good amount of time, you will never ever have a chance, however slim it might be. I am not back together with my ex and we never reconciled, but we communicate occasionally. I have let it go and understand that it may never be again. I guess I'm lost though how she went from you're everything to me to you're not within a day. I have accepted it may never be again but I really hope one day it will be because of how it was even though it wasn't as long as my other past relationships.
Recommended Posts