Thermals Posted June 27, 2015 Posted June 27, 2015 I'm in my mid-30s. We dated for 5 weeks, saw each other about 12 times during that time period. A week ago I decided to end it out of fear that I wasn't feeling enough of a physical attraction toward her. Now I feel both grief and sadness. I find it to be a bizarre concept that I will never hear from, speak with or see this lovely person again. And it bothers me. I feel like I want to stay in touch, which might also be due to my own selfish needs for feeling lonely at the moment, but I also understand that it may not be fair to her, that it might prolong the process for her. At the same time I feel like I can't start dating anyone because if I did it would feel like I'm betraying her. She said it a few times on the day we separated; she kept telling me that now I was free to see anyone or have a long term relationship with anyone. Are these kind of feelings common for people who had been together for a few weeks? Sometimes I wonder if I get attached too quickly.
54JA Posted June 27, 2015 Posted June 27, 2015 You are doing the right thing. Obviously, you are a good person because of several reasons. You are being honest with yourself. Despite the issues with physical attraction, you still saw the good in her and made connection. You are considering what is fair to her. I understand you feel sad because it is a loss. Even if you did not feel attraction, you still liked her as a person. I think you are doing the right thing because you should be with someone you can be attracted to, and she deserves to be with someone who is attracted to her. You are right when you say staying in contact with her will prolong the pain of breaking up. I think it's better to end it in this early stage, rather than wait until you two have invested much more into the relationship. The loss will be even bigger.
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