Eaglestar83 Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 I went out on a first date few weeks ago with a girl. We come from similar cultural background, she is very traditional, and says she is looking for a serious long term relationship. All these are qualities I want and I don't come across a person like that more than once a year, if that. Problem is, am not attracted to her. Am not fussy with looks, just want someone I find attractive, have the desire to kiss them, be in their company etc and I didn't feel that with her. Is this something that can develop over time? Or should I just forget her? I don't want to hurt her or myself by experimenting with her or faking interest. She still contacts me every now and then just to say hi, so I think she likes me.
Halcyon Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 If you don't find her attractive then don't waste your time or hers. It won't end well for either of you. 2
Gary S Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 If you don't want to kiss her after 45 minutes with her, you are not interested in her, and probably never will be. By the way, this is why I recommend a 45 minute dinner for a first meet from online dating. Coffee dates are like drive-bys
Author Eaglestar83 Posted June 26, 2015 Author Posted June 26, 2015 Thanks guys, I thought as muchi don't think am being shallow or vein.
Halcyon Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 Just because you are not attracted to her doesn't mean you are shallow. We all are to some degree but that's not a good reason to date her. It would be meaner to date someone knowing full well you aren't into them. Let them find someone who is into them. 1
smackie9 Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 You are attracted to, to what you are attracted to. Just because they look good on paper doesn't mean there's gonna be fireworks going off.
darkmoon Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 you have not met the one i knew a guy who did not like his wife's looks and never had, a sad prison for him, sorry, but you did ask
Author Eaglestar83 Posted June 26, 2015 Author Posted June 26, 2015 Not even fireworks, am not looking for something intense and volatile, just a certain degree of pleasantness. I only met her ones, but I don't think these things can change much as you get to know somebody more. Or maybe am wrong? You know how some people say that their partners 'grew onto them' sort of thing....
pewpew Posted June 27, 2015 Posted June 27, 2015 Personality and being a good person are important traits that I'd consider when looking for a partner BUT if there is no physical attraction or spark then it's just not going to happen in a loving relationship. It sounds like she may be a good friend to have if you value her personality and outlook on life but if you don't find her attractive now then why would you a few months down the line. Imo Friendship yes, relationship material no.
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