Kel_star Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 (edited) I'm pretty bitter 7 months after my first real relationship. I was made to believe it was something special, but it was all a lie and I was just a rebound to someone they didn't even mention once throughout our 8 month relationship. It was a smack in the face. I know I'll get over it, even though it hurts like hell. I recently cut all contact and the pain started all over again, but even worse than from the initial breakup. Besides the point, after observing so many relationships around me, there's so much cheating and people leading others on while they tell me they're really not totally in the relationship, just are lonely. I'm trying so hard to believe in love, but it seems everyone is broken! I feel everyone is hurt and has such a high guard up. It's like, what are the chances that I don't find another emotionally unavailable person? My ex played me so well! It feels so easy to just stop caring and never let my guard down again and become a jerk, I really am wondering if it's even worth it to ever let my guard down again Edited June 26, 2015 by Kel_star
StalwartMind Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 Unfortunately humans are exceptionally good at focusing on the bad things. Often one negative action seems to override fifty good ones. Perhaps it's a flaw in most of us (all of us?) but it should not change who you are and how you feel. There are genuine, happy, honest and good couples out there. Again most of us will likely feel envy or become jealous when we see or hear, because we want that for ourselves. There is nothing wrong with wanting all those wonderful things, in fact we all should have, but due to our different beliefs and values, you will quite often encounter those that do not display true character. This is demotivating to most of us, but it must not make your hope falter, because then you've already let the cheating, deceiving and otherwise dishonest people win. Surely you belong on the good side of things. The peculiar thing about life is how much of it is based on chance, sure we can influence this somewhat, but it is not unlikely that you have to go through many experiences before you find something or someone worthwhile. With age typically comes experience, the terrible part is that negative events while horrific are also important. They define us and all the things we don't like in others. So in that sense it is actually positive to encounter those that play you or will otherwise manipulate ones feelings. Would it be magical if the first person you met was the one who would do nothing but cherish and honor all of you? Absolutely but this is perhaps something that is so rare, that even a fairytale is more likely to be real. You are right you'll get over it, but it does indeed still hurt like hell though. To put things into perspective, when you meet the person who is going to show you the kindness, respect and love you desire, how do you wish to display yourself? As someone who let the negative actions of others, influence how you treat that person, or are you going to be the person who believes in love and will reciprocate it because it is all you ever sought. I like to believe that I want to display any human I encounter with a positive attitude to life but at the same time also understand if someone needs a bit of guidance to regain their trust in humanity. The world needs more kind people, can never have too many people that care for the well being of others, although I'm sure some will disagree, but that is their right and they shall be welcome to do as they please. I do hope you choose to believe in others, because it will be returned one day.
Naturebox Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 I'm pretty bitter 7 months after my first real relationship. I was made to believe it was something special, but it was all a lie and I was just a rebound to someone they didn't even mention once throughout our 8 month relationship. It was a smack in the face. I know I'll get over it, even though it hurts like hell. I recently cut all contact and the pain started all over again, but even worse than from the initial breakup. Besides the point, after observing so many relationships around me, there's so much cheating and people leading others on while they tell me they're really not totally in the relationship, just are lonely. I'm trying so hard to believe in love, but it seems everyone is broken! I feel everyone is hurt and has such a high guard up. It's like, what are the chances that I don't find another emotionally unavailable person? My ex played me so well! It feels so easy to just stop caring and never let my guard down again and become a jerk, I really am wondering if it's even worth it to ever let my guard down again You can't base the future of your relationships on getting unlucky and finding a person who was just using you. Take it as a learning experience.
Happines Posted June 27, 2015 Posted June 27, 2015 Well my ex started seeing someone less then a week after I left...so honestly it definitely is a rebound relationship because he is simply incapable of being alone I was thinking maybe I should do the same and it till b easier...but then I realised its so wrong...first of all I don't want to hurt another person and secondly I want to get well and happy before I even consider dating anyone else coz I don't want to have that baggage Next time before you start dating them seriously spend more time going on many many dates and make sure to ask questions and try to find out what is it exactly that they want I know it's not easy to do because some people are huge huge liars but u can't go through life thinking they are all the same Some boys are super nice and one day u will meet one as well
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