aarsky Posted April 30, 2005 Posted April 30, 2005 Why is it that no matter how hard I try, I find myself thinking about my ex all the time. I had such a great thing going with her and I messed it all up. And each time I told her Id change, I continued with my old rotten ways, and she just got so frustrated and gave up on me. But I miss her and I can't help it. Ive tried keeping myself busy, going out with friends, even as far as getting a few phone numbers to call women for dating. But I just don't want it because shes still so much in my head. Is there really such a thing as to forgive and forget, or do the memories of something good gone bad linger forever?
ConfusedInOC Posted April 30, 2005 Posted April 30, 2005 Originally posted by aarsky Why is it that no matter how hard I try, I find myself thinking about my ex all the time. I had such a great thing going with her and I messed it all up. And each time I told her Id change, I continued with my old rotten ways, and she just got so frustrated and gave up on me. But I miss her and I can't help it. Ive tried keeping myself busy, going out with friends, even as far as getting a few phone numbers to call women for dating. But I just don't want it because shes still so much in my head. Is there really such a thing as to forgive and forget, or do the memories of something good gone bad linger forever? Learn from your mistakes. Burn this in your mind, what you did wrong and vow never to repeat them. You screwed things up with her, but that doesn't mean you won't meet someone else. But before you can meet someone else and have a successful relationship, you need to get her out of your mind. So you need to delete any physical reminders of her from your pad. Put away the pictures, momentos, etc. Delete her phone number, remove her from your IM programs. As someone else said: "Remove all evidence." Once you remove the evidence, keep yourself busy with other hobbies. You're infatuated with the ex because, as most people that are dumped feel, they hate being rejected. It sucks, I know. I've been there. I've been rejected and I have done the rejecting. But you can't move on if you still have this person on your mind. And when you vow to learn from your mistakes, it's not just saying it. Use a constant reminder to keep yourself in check (a not on your PC, a notepad you refer to, whatever it takes) until you feel confident you won't make those mistakes anymore. Me? I know what I did wrong. I know that I'll never repeat those mistakes and I have enough self pride to know when to move on. Do the same.
UCFKevin Posted April 30, 2005 Posted April 30, 2005 Why do you want to forget her? Watch the movie "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind". It'll really make you think big time about the past. Cherish your memories. Just don't dwell on them and kick yourself for your mistakes. Learn from them, don't live in them.
ConfusedInOC Posted April 30, 2005 Posted April 30, 2005 Originally posted by UCFKevin Why do you want to forget her? Watch the movie "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind". It'll really make you think big time about the past. Cherish your memories. Just don't dwell on them and kick yourself for your mistakes. Learn from them, don't live in them. I hear what you're saying, Kevin, but cherishing memories and dwelling on them are completely different. Cherishing is good as you fondly remember and have moved on. Dwelling is bad as you tend to focus on the negatives which impedes your ability to move on. At this point it seems to me he's dwelling.
Recommended Posts