NYCgirl88 Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 So.. I've been doing really well. My summer has been great and I've been meeting a lot of new people and having a really good time. I was starting to really enjoy being single and being able to do whatever I wanted without having to worry about anyone else. I felt so happy, especially at the beginning of this week. I didn't miss my ex at all. Then, Monday, my mom called me when I was at work to tell me that my grandpa died. We knew it was going to happen soon because he hadn't been doing well and I had visited him last weekend and the weekend before. Even though we knew it was coming, I was very close with my grandpa so this really threw me off. Since then I've taken 5,0000 steps backwards. I came home on Monday and I've been home since then (the funeral was on Wednesday and we've been sitting shiva). I really enjoy my job and am close with my coworkers so not being there for a week is difficult for me. "Living at home" is difficult too. Also, my ex came to the funeral on Wednesday and then to my cousins for the entire day for shiva. We had sex at my house before I dropped him off at the train station. Then, his parents came to shiva yesterday and were telling me how much they missed me and how he's just immature but he loves me and is not dating anyone else, etc. I love his parents, but they don't know the full story and they don't know how he treated me. However, them saying that to me makes me question everything, especially since I am emotional right now and I just spent the day with him and had sex with him on Wednesday. Additionally, my lease is up in August and I can't afford the new rent so I need to find a new apartment. I had wanted to move in with my ex and August, which was a huge cause of conflict between us since he didn't want to move in with me. Finding a new place is scary because I've lived there for 3 years and now I have to move alone, when I wanted to with him. I know that the situation I'm in is temporary, and Monday everything will be back to normal, I'll go back to work and back to my apartment and my gym and eating normally (instead of all the cookies and sandwiches people are sending my family!), but this week has been a really big setback . I feel like I'm 22 again and don't have a job or my own place and am obsessed with what my ex is doing! I know that isn't the reality, but it's how I feel right now. Can anyone offer some advice on how to recover from this week? Thank you!
d0nnivain Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 I'm sorry about your grandfather's passing. I'm sure it was doubly hard to see your EX. The silver lining is that you pick good people to date because this guy was compassionate enough to pay his respects your family during your time of loss. The sex was more function of you needing human contact & to feel alive in the face of death. On some level better your EX then a random ONS Try to focus on the good times with your grandfather. Realize that the grief of loss has no pace or clock. Feel what you feel. Then go back to work & take one day at a time. As for the apartment hunt, think of it as a new adventure. The new place will be all yours with no memories of him there. A brand new start 1
Author NYCgirl88 Posted June 26, 2015 Author Posted June 26, 2015 Thank you! That actually does make me feel better to think of the sex being more about me feeling sad right now than being about still loving my ex. It's easy to get it confused, especially since I am in a weird state of mind this week! 1
Author NYCgirl88 Posted June 27, 2015 Author Posted June 27, 2015 I'm having a really difficult time still! This morning I woke up feeling like there's a pit in my stomach. I'm going back home today and none of my friends are really around tonight. I don't want to be alone and I'm so tempted to ask my ex to get dinner / see a movie. I know that's a stupid idea which is why I haven't done it yet. I'm trying to think of things I can do alone to distract myself today like shopping and getting a pedicure, but I feel like once I'm back at my apartment I'll end up texting him.
grokcahsevol Posted June 27, 2015 Posted June 27, 2015 I'm having a pretty rough week as well, I just brought a ticket to a local beer festival happening today and plan on going by myself to get my mind off everything.. hopefully. I'm assuming you live in NYC... their are tons of things to do there! actually this festival I'm going to is being held on Long Island.. go to it!
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