JustSomeFeedback Posted April 30, 2005 Posted April 30, 2005 Hi. I just had wanted on opinion on an incident that happened. There's this girl that I have been dating now for a couple of months. We're both in our early 20's and finishing up at the same college, and I found out not too long ago that she gets high a lot. Well, I'm not a big druggie, but I will drink quite a bit though (few beers at most). I get drunk maybe once a month or so. I used drugs quite a bit back in high school, but don't do it anymore. I'll get high once in a great while, but find it pretty pathetic if you do it nearly everyday at our age. Well, when she told me she gets high a lot I was kind of taken back. I never even thought that she got high. I didn't tell her she has to quit or anything like that, but I did tell her that I don;t do it much, and if she's doing it around me or his high around me a lot and all that it will begin to bug me. I've been out with her friends a few times where they passed weed around, and I passed it up and said that I was fine with just a beer. It didn't bug me much at all. Well, we got high once together this past week. Nothing big, just me and her hanging out one day. Actually, I said that I wouldn' t mind doing it with her. I havn't done it in over half a year, and figured what the heck. I don't have any drug connections, and she couldnt get any from her friends where she usually gets it from. So she said that she knows of one place, but she was somewhat hesitant in front of me. She called anyway, and it was actually her ex-bf. They broke up like a year ago, but they dated for 4 years. He is a drug dealer, and that's how she says she got started on drugs. I felt a little uncomfortable by all of this, and wondered why she called him when she says that he was so bad for her, it took her so long to leave him, he was so controlling, etc. I mean, we can do something else besides get high together. It's not that big of a deal. So when we got to his area, I said I'm sitting in the car. She wanted me to come in, but I didn't feel comfortable being there. She said that's fine and went in to see him. She came out with a free bag of weed, and seemed a little frustrated. She said that he was asking about me and all, and she said that she doesn't just understand him, and why can't he just get over her since it's been a year. I just sat there pretty uncomfortably at this point. I told her that it's probably because he really cares about you still, and she was like whatever. I felt like she was pretty shady by going to her ex-bf, who she left, who she claims is so bad for her, to score a free bag of weed, and then complain how he just isn't moving on. Should I be concerned about all of this? I feel as if I should. I've thought about it enough and wanted to get feedback from anonymous people, instead of going to friends who would skew the advice. Should I have been more assertive towards her in that she seemed shady, or possibly stopped it all once I found out it was her ex-bf? I didn't want to make it a big deal, but I was uncomfortable about the whole situation. She doesn't talk to him much anymore. He calls her here and there, but she rarely ever calls him back, and just says, "oh, the ex called again." All she told me about him is that he was controlling, blames her drug problem on him pretty much, he was tough to leave, and that her parents hated him. I guess this seems like a lot of drama to me, and I don't just want to call it quits over this, but the whole situation just made it seem like maybe we're at two different places in life and that it won't work out long term. Or maybe I'm just over-reacting? Thanks in advance.
laRubiaBonita Posted May 1, 2005 Posted May 1, 2005 ok... 1). the drug thing DOES totally bother you, or you would not have even said anything about it. she has not offered to stop when she is with you......in fact she drug you to get high. 2). she gets "free" drugs from her ex, so why would an addict cut off there source? especially when it's free! get out now why you are not into deep!
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