grokcahsevol Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 (edited) Here is a very quick recap of why I had to meet her http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/534674-am-i-over-analyzing So she pulls up, I get out, she gets out and we both say Hi. I said to her"You look nice" and she laughed. She told me she got my stuff for me (I originally told her to donate them but she said she didn't want to do that) Took everything outta her car and into mine. We started talking and she explained to me that her gut is telling her she needs to do this, she needs this time for herself, to be with her family, to be with her friends and so forth. She also told me "This isn't like those breaks people take to see if the grass is greener, this is for myself and us. I have no intentions on going about and hooking up with anyone" as she was explaing everything she was crying She further said "I want to do this for us, who knows, maybe will be back together in a week, or few weeks or months, who knows, but I don't want to give you false help" I told her not too worry about me, and to worry about her self and take this time for her. She further said this "I also need this because I'm afraid if we were to get married and have kids, I wouldn't want to do what everyone else does.. get a divorce. So if I need a break, I rather do it now and get it over with" (something along those lines) and as well "I only have one life and I want to make sure I live it right with no regrets" that kinda hit me hard idk why Another thing she mentioned was this "When we hang out with our group of friends, it feels like we are just really close, like brother and sister" I always knew that but I kept it like that because she had always told me it's nice to be like that around friends and not all over each other and lovey dovey. This whole time, she was tearing up and I started to tear up as well.. we talked about a few other things and I ended it by telling her (I started to fu*ken tear hard) I need you to do me a favor, please do no contact me unless you'd like to try and rekindle our relationship, as I still love and adore you and can only have a romantic relationship with you" We both cried and gave each other a nice long hug she said I love you and so did I Also, she was still wearing her promise ring I gave her.. I'm sure this will set me back a day or 2 but it's something I think we both wanted and needed to do.. and I think that hug is what destroyed me. I'm obviously going back to no contact. She's a sweet girl and I truly love and adore her.. I'm sure many say this but it's going to be very hard for me to just "move on" and try and date or hook up and have fun.. it's not even something I am interested in. 9 years. Sorry if I jumped around.. just remembered a few more things and added them in Edited June 26, 2015 by grokcahsevol
ravfour4 Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 Glad to hear it man. Sometimes you need these moments and sometimes knowing that they still care about you and seeing them cry can help you understand that what you had certainly meant something - even if you don't end up together forever. Stay strong man, you did well.
dumbass2 Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 (edited) "I don't want to give you false hope" Really? That is exactly what she did. From my outside perspective, she was very selfish and manipulative. i can imagine how you might feel. You are torn right now. Like you said, it is going to be hard now for you to move on and have fun and date. She has effectively put you on hold while she does what she does and she MIGHT figure things out in a week, few weeks, months, years....whatever. That to me is just plain manipulation and wrong for her to do knowing how you feel about her. I'm sure she loved and care for you in the relationship, but now it is only about her. Forget this "us" garbage. This isn't what you want. It was great that you told her what you did, but I honestly think it doesn't mean a thing to her. I think that if she just wanted to contact you for whatever reason, she is going to believe she can and you wont be able to ignore her. Why, because she has given you FALSE HOPE. I just don't like the way she worded a lot of things. I don't blame you for wanting to see her again. I don't think it ended up doing anything for you other than leave you more confused (when logic says you shouldn't be) on what to do going forward. We will be there to help when you need us. Edited June 26, 2015 by dumbass2
Naturebox Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 Also, she was still wearing her promise ring I gave her.. Well she knew she was going to meet you. Might have been the first time she wore it since the break up. Right now you're still in an emotional state of mind, you need to get more logical before you consider if you'll get back together or not. For now, focus on YOU. Not finding someone new, just improving yourself. 1
lolablue17 Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 sales people has the ability to really believe their own words when they try to sell something. So, i believe that she think she's honest. But I don't believe any of it. I just think she's not honest with herself. She easily says words, she can take back when it suites her. What she was really saying is: "I'm going to my new seperate way, it is very scary so I must use you as a safety belt for my needs. I don't relly gives a FUC& about your feelings, so i'll give you some hopes, so you wouldn't move on, and continue being my safety. I can do all this without really lying because when I add the words "who knows, maybe (we'll be back together") it's can never be a lie, right?"
Author grokcahsevol Posted June 26, 2015 Author Posted June 26, 2015 Yeah, now that I think about it, it does feel wrong that she said "Maybe a few weeks, months, or years" I don't think I mentioned this before, but she also said "I'm just not happy" I'd assume she was meaning us, but she mentioned how shes getting so stressed and that this is her "last" summer before nursing school and she hasn't really been happy since our anniversary (which was in march).. I was a bit taken back by that as we went on a cruise and we seemed to had fun.. Although, I blocked all of her stuff from social media.. we still have the same "girl" friends and I saw a picture of her last night (pretty much after we talked..) looking all sexy, and posting a "selfie" picture with some cleavage.. I wanted to ask.. when girls do that after a break up.. is it because they are insecure.. or just looking for attention.. these creatures are amazing.. let me tell you
lolablue17 Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 Although, I blocked all of her stuff from social media.. we still have the same "girl" friends and I saw a picture of her last night (pretty much after we talked..) looking all sexy, and posting a "selfie" picture with some cleavage.. I wanted to ask.. when girls do that after a break up.. is it because they are insecure.. or just looking for attention.. these creatures are amazing.. let me tell you Let's be frank abou it, OK? What she said to you is a total BS, selfish and disgusting in my eyes. She wants you out of her life so she could be free, meet new guys, and have the wildest fun she can. This new photo is an expression of her new life she is starting to experience. You're history. I'll be even more brutal - She was lying to you when she gave you false hope. She just wanted the simplest, easiest way to break up with minimum drama. Go, have fun with other girls and forget about her. 1
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