locabs Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 I have been talking to this guy since March. We see each other during the week and weekends, we have sex, I have met a few of his friends minus his family, he has met my family and a few of my friends. He says he really enjoys spending time with me and likes me. He says he knows what he wants, and wants something more, basically looking for a girlfriend. I don't know if it matters, I'm 21 and he's 24. Yesterday I brought up the exclusive, boyfriend girlfriend talk. We talked about it, but he says "he hasn't seen all that he needs to see to 100% commit" and that "the timing is just not right" I asked him, "then what are we doing here?" He responded " I enjoy seeing you, I like you, you are funny, nice, beautiful etc., but I'm still getting to know you" He says it's hard because I'm shy, hard to talk to, and not open enough...although I have shared things with him that only a few good friends know. I'm not sure if thats an excuse or not? Sometimes I am quiet because it's who I am. We have made it official that we are dating, obviously not yet exclusive. I did mention that I look for guys who are a one woman type since that's the value I hold while in the dating process. He said he's not talking with anyone else or having sex with anyone else...although I'm having some trouble with believing him. I'm working on it. My question is, if a guy says "he's not ready" or "the timing isn't right" does it mean he doesn't want to date you ever and is waiting for something better to come along?
TaraMaiden2 Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 You're a FWB with potential. I'd rein back on the sex part, myself..... 2
Author locabs Posted June 25, 2015 Author Posted June 25, 2015 Wouldn't you have to establish that? I mean FWB is something you would talk about...
eye of the storm Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 This could go either way (and no FWB doesn't always come with conversation about it). Some people don't like to jump into things, they take their time and make sure its right. Others drag things out because they are still shopping for an upgrade. With what you have said, its 50/50 which way he is. 1
misspond Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 You're a FWB with potential. I'd rein back on the sex part, myself..... Ok, reading back that's a fair point. But. Once you've had sex you can't rein back so....
TaraMaiden2 Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 Er, no, I definitely think you can...He's reining back on committing to a proper relationship, so she can just as easily rein back on being his booty call...
Author locabs Posted June 25, 2015 Author Posted June 25, 2015 I'm very confused on how I'm just a booty call lol...
eye of the storm Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 Having sex with someone you are not in a relationship is being an FWB aka BootyCall. Not judging BTW, sometimes NSA sex is fun.
Popsicle Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 He acts like you're asking for marriage or something. I would interpret what he said to mean that he's looking/waiting for something better and wants to keep his options open. You may want to protect your heart and stop sleeping with him and date other guys.
MoreAmore Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 I am slow to commit myself, but coming up on four months he knows whether he wants a relationship and there's really onky reason to keep options open... and its not to make things work with you.
BlueIris Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 (edited) Don’t be passive about this. You’re just as much the decider as he is. So… do you want to keep seeing someone and having sex with someone who’s equivocal, unsure he wants to be exclusive, at the 3-month mark? If you do, how much time would you feel comfortable giving this relationship before you’d want to move on? Answer those questions by yourself and for yourself. It’s a personal decision we each make for ourselves. We can all tell you what we would do and how we'd view it, but you're not going to be solid about your decision unless it's your decision. Edited June 26, 2015 by BlueIris 3
casey.lives Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 he described you as hard to talk to. I would leave. it sounds like he already put the weight on you 1
sandylee1 Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 I think as soon as someone he can talk to easier comes along, you'll be history. You're okay in the meanwhile, but something is missing for him. Maybe he doesn't even know what's missing himself. Id keep my options open if I were you. 1
Author locabs Posted June 26, 2015 Author Posted June 26, 2015 I left out a few big things, such as for the 1 ½ months of us "talking" I was away at college. I'm back for good since I did graduate. I don't know if that makes a difference. I didn't see him for that bit. He continued to talk to me everyday, and we kinda just picked back up going out on dates when I was finished.
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