loveme4mine Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 (edited) I'm still very fresh into my breakup. I'm having a hard time accepting it's over and trying to move on. All I do is cry, I am now homeless. I met my ex online pof, in September of last year, after a month of knowing him, I gave up my condo and quickly moved my son and myself into his home. upon this decision, I started seeing many sides of this man I disliked. He was extremely strict with his own son, constantly yelling at him for the smallest things. our sex life was non existant due to him having a poor sex drive.It soon became apparent that this man was also controlling to a certain extent. It was like walking on eggshells the last 5 months of our relationship. I would always watch his son whilst he worked, which in turn made me not work as much since my job was very flexible. In the finale days of our relationship when I brought this to his attention, which I had before, he states that I was blaming his son for my inability to work. I had moved out in April after a fight, and quickly reconciled and moved back In with certain conditions. When I would make a mistake, he would come back to these terms. After the first breakup, "us" was no longer In his future plans, even though I had let him in mine. Long story short, we got into various arguments over the last few weeks, where he finally ended up emailing me a notice to vacate. I in turn said some hateful things via email because I was being thrown out. When I got back to the house, he had all of my belongings and my son's belongings in bags downstairs, had my son's bed, posters, tables, etc downstairs and his room cleaned out. He was also cleaning the entire house with bleach. I'm having a hard time accepting my fate, and angry with myself for giving up everthing for this man who since he had been hurt so bad by his ex wife, had no fight left in him for our relationship. How do I pick up the pieces and move on? Edited June 25, 2015 by loveme4mine
mightycpa Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 It actually sounds like it would be pretty easy from what you describe. How could you possibly want to go back to that?
StalwartMind Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 It can be difficult to accept but you must do it nonetheless. It's easy to blame oneself, especially when you've given up things to the extent such as this, but this means very little if anything at all to people who end up or perhaps never really in the first placed cared that much for you. He sounds like a broke man, in more than one way, you don't need this and you can do better. It will always be a trial when you place your hope in others, as we can be amazing architects with setting ourselves up for potential disappointment. You did sacrifice more, even if love shouldn't be a contest. It seems like he was not prepared for a new relationship. Let your emotion run its course through you, and slowly pick up the pieces to regain composure. Don't let a bad experience or multiple for that matter, be a blow to your confidence. I hope you can stay temporarily with some family or friends, and while a new relationship is perhaps the last thing on your mind, rightfully so, there are much better potential partners out there. While time is our most valuable resource, don't be afraid to take it slow with someone and let them show they can be consistent with qualities you appreciate in another human. There's help to be gotten no matter where you reside, don't feel ashamed even if tears flood like a constant stream. Look up and use what local resources is the closest to you, which can aid should you not have family or friends near.
veggirl Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 Omg why are you moving your kid in with a stranger after a month??!!! Ugh!! Your kid needs stability not moms flavor of the week as a new housemate! Poor kid. Maybe focus on him instead of the ex. 2
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