Concreteman78 Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 So I've been dating this amazing woman for the last 6 weeks. Shes like a breath of fresh air in my life. The problem is that I applied for a job before I met her. Well I got the job offer. $100k a year and traveling the world. But I have to move 4.5 hours away to live near the home office. Shes telling me to go...but I'm torn. Do I leave what could be a great thing and stick with my $60k a year job and have the simple life with her...or go for the dream job??????? I have to answer by Friday for this job
OpenBook Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 Take the dream job. If you and she are meant to be, it will happen no matter what. Dream jobs are a different story. 4
Clarence_Boddicker Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 "All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy." She can't move to the same city? What's the office to traveling ratio? Is the extra money or the traveling important to you?
deathandtaxes Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 It's only been six weeks of dating. Take the job.
Qboro90 Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 Take the job. I was in the exact same scenario a few years back and chose the girl over the job. Granted this wasn't even a dream job just one that would advance my career and goals exponentially. I had been with my gf for 1 1/2 years and the job was on the west coast (I am from northeast). Long story short I ended up resenting her after another year passed. I had regretted not taking the job almost immediately (to no fault of my gf either, she encouraged me to take it). After staying though I found myself viewing her with a "I turned down that awesome opportunity so you need to be even more worth it now" mentality. She was doing nothing different yet I felt she needed to validate my decision by being the dream girl I hoped she was. She wasn't, not her fault. Take the job, guarantee you'll end up with this girl if she truly loves you. And if you don't, 100k and traveling the world will be a chick magnet so enjoy that to the fullest. Seriously, take the job. 6
2.50 a gallon Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 (edited) At age 8, on my first family vacation west, I fell in love with Denver, and swore that is where I wanted to live. I even knew the exact neighborhood I wanted to live in. Why Denver? The mountains, the canyons, the trout and gold bearing streams, the trees, I just love the area. But, alas life took me in a different direction. Ended up living a dozen years on the left coast. Where I discovered that I was born to be a historical researcher. I study and write about what I find. Which makes Denver all the more important to me, as they have a fantastic library with tons of research material, ledgers, old letters, photographs, and right across the street is the Historical Society with many times more material. And every little town has a historical society with more material to comb thru. Bad marriage on the left coast, after a dozen years I move back home, with the idea of once again relocating to Denver, which I visit every other year and come home with tons of new material. Back in my home town I meet and after a 14 year drought I once again fall in love, this time with a gal who is out of my league in the looks department and is the sweetest most giving woman I have ever met. At that same time I am offered my Dream job in Denver. Fantastic pay, and bennies, my favorite kind of work, and would only have to work 3 - 12 hour shifts a week. And not only that every other month the work days are shifted, so one goes from a Monday thru Wed schedule and does not have to report back until the following Thursday thru Sat schedule. A mini vacation where I could take research trips to Lincoln, Nebraska, Wyoming, New Mexico, Salt Lake City, you get the idea. Or simply take a 4 day fishing trip. Alas, new love, has just had her first grand baby, and refuses to move with me. Yep I had a deposit down in that great neighborhood. 20 year of great loving, but life has taken me away from fishing, have not gone in over 20 years and have only been able to visit Colorado twice. I have a fantastictly great loving relationship, but am now getting up in years, and wondering what I gave away Take the job Edited June 25, 2015 by 2.50 a gallon
hudson701 Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 Take the job. A woman wouldn't give it a second thought.
Justanaverageguy Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 I agree with Qboro90. If you ditch the job for the girl you will end up holding it against her subconsciously. Also it adds additional pressure on her side as she sees you as having made this huge sacrifice for her. It makes it feel like now "She has to" date you. It becomes an obligation rather then a choice adding pressure and expectation to the relationship which makes it far less likely to work out. This is similar to those long distance relationship things where one partner moves for the other one to their city and then it suddenly falls apart. Too much pressure and expectation. But that doesn't mean you have to give up the girl. In this case you may still be able to have your cake and eat it too. 4 1/2 hours is not so bad. Easy enough to commute back on weekends. And who know maybe your work would be flexible with having you work remotely 1 or 2 days a week ? Why not take the job ..... then don't put huge pressure on making the girl "commit" to a long distance relationship. Just tell her you really like her and would like to see if you can still make it work when you move. Strangely enough most girls do actually really respect a guy who doesn't throw all his plans and dreams out the window just for them. It comes off a bit desperate sometimes if you do. Things don't have to be black and white. Girl or no girl. Try and find a shade of grey that works for both of you.
No Limit Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 A woman wouldn't give it a second thought. Can't speak for all women but at least for me - it'd be the job! OP, this is a no brainer. It's been only 6 weeks.
writergal Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 Definitely take the job! Only dating for 6 weeks does not justify you turning down the opportunity of a life time. Remember that cliché "absence makes the heart grow fonder?" Moving 4.5 hours away from her will test the legs of this newfound attraction. If it withers and dies after you move, then it wasn't meant to be. But, it could sprout into something great despite the distance. Only time will tell. You can't continually compromise yourself for others on a promise of "maybe." If you two were already long-term or engaged or actually married, then I'd caution you to really think this job offer and the distance over. But you've only known each other for 6 weeks. That isn't long enough to justify you losing out on what could change your life for the better. Take the job. See what happens in the romance department afterward. Her reaction to your departure will either caution or comfort you. Strive for comfort, prepare for caution.
regine_phalange Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 I admire your sense of loyalty. But I'd take the dream job and I'd keep the relationship with the lady. It can bring difficulties, but 4.5 hours is not THAT much. It's doable. And who knows, she may end up moving for you.. Or you may end up not liking the dream job that much after all. But you definitely need to give both aspects a shot. If she likes you enough she won't hesitate to try. 2
loveweary11 Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 I had that job once. Take it. It'll open your mind up in ways no female can... seeing the world (on someone else's dime). You can always go back to a more simple life later... with all your savings going a long way toward making that simple life more stress free. This chick can move to this new city 4.5 hours away if it's that serious at 6 weeks, although if it's anything like my old international sales job, you'll be living in planes and hotels around the world anyway and will just be skyping her. From experience in the same type of job, I can say this is a very rare opportunity that will change your view of the world.
Ninjainpajamas Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 You're insane for even considering this...take the job, what are you waiting for you fool! 1
PrettyEmily77 Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 Have to say just the fact you're considering not taking the job even for a minute says she's one very lucky lady to have such a considerate guy in her life . But yeah, you should probs take the job . 1
autumnnight Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 Take the job. 4.5 hours is not the end of the world, and if things progress, then you can discuss being closer to each other in the future. If you had been dating a year, that would be one thing, but 6 weeks is barely a relationship. As a woman, I would be...nervous/pressured feeling if a man I had being going out with for 6 weeks turned down a great job for ME.
JPMC Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 Many a man has never lost a woman over money however many a man has lost money over a woman. Take the job, 66% pay hike.
Gottabestrong Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 I've had to make a decision like that in the past. I chose my boyfriend. It did not work out. Take the job!
Ninjainpajamas Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 As a die-hard romantic for a long time...it took a lot of experience to realize and accept that love was never worth it over any major decision in life.
Author Concreteman78 Posted June 26, 2015 Author Posted June 26, 2015 Its $55k a year vs $100k a year. Insurance is $114 per check vs $38. Travel Monday thru Friday with 3-5 weeks in Milan every January. Travel all over Canada, USA, Mexico, and South America. All while living just outside of Detroit. I currently live in Indianapolis. So if I take this job, I will start July 13th. They will give me $5k for relocation and pay for a hotel for a month till I find a place. They pay for everything while I'm traveling and give me $100 a day per diem. Or stay here with her that makes great money and works for the state government and me make my $55k a year at a job that's just ok.
SoleMate Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 If you want the job, take it. LDR, Skype, and weekends with the gf (if you're both willing).
Author Concreteman78 Posted June 26, 2015 Author Posted June 26, 2015 I took the job....now to tell her that I did. I know it's gonna end the relationship...but I gotta do what's best for my future 3
DrReplyInRhymes Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 I took the job....now to tell her that I did. I know it's gonna end the relationship...but I gotta do what's best for my future That sounds like a dream job indeed, congratulations on getting that position, Don't be so quick to think the relationship is doomed with this condition, If you both want to work it out, you WILL find a way, Whether it be long distance, or relocation, no one can say! 1
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