michellew Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 To those who think it means she's not that interested, how would you feel if she said, "let's take it fast!" lol I'm sure you'd run like the wind. I wouldn't read too much into it, OP. Her actions will speak louder than words. 2
katiegrl Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 I want to take things slow has always turned out to mean "just keep paying attention to me while I keep playing the field" every woman & I mean EVERY woman who told me this ended up sleeping with an ex or some guy they just met. Lol, by the time she told you that...she was already probably sufficiently turned off by your strong pursuit... felt suffocated.....and THAT is why she *slept" with another guy.... I told my boyfriend the first week...I didn't let it build to the point it became a turn off...
katiegrl Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 smackie....have u ever had a guy you just started dating calling/texting five times a day...wanting to see you every night, wanting to know your whereabouts when you don't respond to his texts or calls right away? Would you not feel just a tad suffocated by all that? Really? 1
katiegrl Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 (edited) This is a non sequitur. Slowing down after having sex is not taking things slow. Taking it slow does not mean just sexually hon.... Is that all a relationship is to you...sex? See my last post before this to smackie. I will ask you too.....you would not feel suffocated by all that....and ask him to take it down a notch? Even though you've already had sex? Or maybe you think that after sex, that means you are automatically joined at the hip? If you wouldn't feel suffocated... I wish you luck cuz guys who come on super strong and fast like that....are just as fast to disappear on ya...and I am not talking about just sexually. Another reason why I asked my bf to slow down. So he would not burn himself out...like he did with all his previous girlfriends.... Edited June 26, 2015 by katiegrl 1
katiegrl Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 ***Your reaction is very hot. **** It's funny though because my sex drive and will power are equally strong. So no matter how turned on I get or worked up I get her, I can always reel myself back in. But being a guy is hard in the beginning. You have to toe that fine line between confident sexual assertiveness/dominance and restraint/respect. It's taken me years of trial and error to finally have a handle on it. Me thinks fitnessfan needs to get himself a little action. Poor guy is going a little crazy here with these "hot" posts... Lol Haha....just playin with ya ff. :bunny:
fitnessfan365 Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 Haha.. Was just about to post at you Katie. You should've been flattered by your BF's crazy behavior because it means you were good in bed. But in all seriousness I do agree. People should be allowed to have the freedom to get invested at their own pace. So I'm very consistent with date planning. But I'll let a woman initiate most communication between them. Although I do like initiating the day before a date. It's good to touch base as it gets her excited. PS - No action problems here.
katiegrl Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 Haha.. Was just about to post at you Katie. You should've been flattered by your BF's crazy behavior **because it means you were good in bed**. But in all seriousness I do agree. People should be allowed to have the freedom to get invested at their own pace. So I'm very consistent with date planning. But I'll let a woman initiate most communication between them. Although I do like initiating the day before a date. It's good to touch base as it gets her excited. PS - No action problems here. Actually....WE were (are!) good in bed .....together....it takes two after all, right? We just really click sexually.. Still do! He's super impulsive though....has more energy than he knows what to do with....and a tendency to go a little overboard....with everything! Not just relationships. But that's another thread.... Glad to hear u have no action problems! Care to share? Someone new?
JJCaliGirl Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 Glad to hear u have no action problems! Care to share? Someone new? Yes, do tell considering I'm on a downturn and need to live vicariously through someone else's success! And thank you, FitnessFan!
Shining One Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 Taking it slow does not mean just sexually hon.... Is that all a relationship is to you...sex?I'm not sure how you came to this conclusion. I was simply pointing out that you hit a relationship milestone at a faster (not slower) than normal pace. I will ask you too.....you would not feel suffocated by all that....and ask him to take it down a notch? Even though you've already had sex?Certainly. I slept with my girlfriend on the first date and she became attached. I asked her to stop suffocating me (which is different than saying slow down). To me, slowing things down means moving at a slower pace than normal. If we normally have sex by date four, slowing things down would be date eight or later. If we normally have the exclusive talk at date five, slowing things down would be having the talk at date ten. I've personally never ended up sleeping with a woman who said "Let's take things slow".
Gary S Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 A woman telling a man she wants to go slow either means the guy is going to fast or she's damaged goods. Most guys go to fast, lol
katiegrl Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 I'm not sure how you came to this conclusion. I was simply pointing out that you hit a relationship milestone at a faster (not slower) than normal pace. Certainly. I slept with my girlfriend on the first date and she became attached. I asked her to stop suffocating me (which is different than saying slow down). To me, slowing things down means moving at a slower pace than normal. If we normally have sex by date four, slowing things down would be date eight or later. If we normally have the exclusive talk at date five, slowing things down would be having the talk at date ten. I've personally never ended up sleeping with a woman who said "Let's take things slow". Fair enough, but TO ME.... you asking her to stop suffocating you .... and me letting my boyfriend know he needs to slow it down (slow down his pursuit)...are the exact same things.
smackie9 Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 smackie....have u ever had a guy you just started dating calling/texting five times a day...wanting to see you every night, wanting to know your whereabouts when you don't respond to his texts or calls right away? Would you not feel just a tad suffocated by all that? Really? I wouldn't know I'm 51 and have been married for 25 years....cel phones/texting/internet wasn't available. Now if a guy was like that to me.....I would dump him. That isn't fast, that is obsessive/possessive behavior. Screams issues. I don't mind seeing someone every night if they were fun and adventurous and we really were digging each other. Fun, flirty texts during the day, I would love it.
katiegrl Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 (edited) I'm not sure how you came to this conclusion. I was simply pointing out that you hit a relationship milestone at a faster (not slower) than normal pace. Certainly. I slept with my girlfriend on the first date and she became attached. I asked her to stop suffocating me (which is different than saying slow down). To me, slowing things down means moving at a slower pace than normal. If we normally have sex by date four, slowing things down would be date eight or later. If we normally have the exclusive talk at date five, slowing things down would be having the talk at date ten. I've personally never ended up sleeping with a woman who said "Let's take things slow". To add to my previous post (post 36)....re bolded comment above -- fair enough but what is normal? Normal to my boyfriend is jumping into a relationship head first... at lightening speed. Normal for ME is getting to know each other gradually and naturally...at a slower pace. That is what *I* am comfortable with..... Nevermind the fact we had sex the first night. The reason that happened was because we were incredibly drawn and attracted to each other. Hell... I wasn't sure if he would ever even call me again! I did not expect a relationship to develop afterwards....and I knew the risk. Am I happy a relationship DID develop? Of course! We both are. But I did not expect it. Anyway... he did call me the next day... and we went out on our FIRST date the following night. At which time he asked me "are you a single dater, or multi?" I responded single and our relationship took off from there. But as I said, in the beginning, he was pursuing me TOO HARD and TOO FAST...for what I was comfortable with...so I told him we needed to slow it down... Still together 5 years later.... :) Edited June 26, 2015 by katiegrl
Gary S Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 I like katies' responses. The woman calls the shots! Ya little whipper-snappers (good for you!). 1
DrReplyInRhymes Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 Anytime I've been told by a lady she wants to go slow, It's been because of recent experiences or things about to blow, I don't think it's a negative thing, just something to take in stride, But if she asks for a break, she'll be leaving with the tide.
katiegrl Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 I like katies' responses. The woman calls the shots! Ya little whipper-snappers (good for you!). Haha...you bet I do! j/k....actually HE calls most of them....he's NO pushover. But thanks!
phineas Posted June 27, 2015 Posted June 27, 2015 For me there is no such thing as slow. Either I like you or I don't. yep. I will not think poorly of a woman who sleeps with me on the first date. Never have & don't think I ever will. If it doesn't work out its because we as people wer incompatible. or she was horrible in bed.
Recommended Posts