xavier562 Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 (edited) Hi I've been with my gf for about a year and a half, to make it short we been arguing alot lately and she's been going through a lot in her life and she wanted space but I never listend and she didnt know what she wants so she was ignoring me not texting me at all and that i pushed her away so I finally told her I just wanted to be there next to her and support her, I finally gave her space she wanted and she sed she appreciated, what can I do now Edited June 25, 2015 by xavier562
wizer Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 Accept the inevitable. The sooner the better. Life is short. 2
Satu Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 1. Drop the arguments. It takes two. Withdraw your participation. 2. If she wants space, let her have it. Get on with other things, hang out with your friends while she gets her space. 3. Do not pressure her in any way. 4. Be aware that her desire for space may be infinite and permanent. 1
Author xavier562 Posted June 25, 2015 Author Posted June 25, 2015 By the way this is our first break does this make anything different, thanks guys
Satu Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 By the way this is our first break does this make anything different, thanks guys It might be a positive, but be aware that the ball is in your court. If you don't take a few steps back, she will push you away. Thats a definite.
Clarence_Boddicker Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 Don't contact her. Prepare for the inevitable C&B. "Flight com! I can't hold her! She's breaking up! She's breaking..." 1
SankeCoffee Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 1. never argue with a women 2. give her space, let her come to you when she is ready, if she decides that she still wants to be in a relationship with you. 3. if she contacts you, set up a definite date to go hang out, have fun and hook up. 4. Show her your strength, fight your urge to talk about your problems and smother her. Smothering her will only push her away. When she contacts you set up a date, and thats it, get off the phone, no small talk texting. use the phone to set up a date and then get back to your life. Make sure she knows your excited to see her but your really busy and your looking forward to getting together. Seriously take a step back and think about what you did in the beginning of the relationship that brought you guys together and get back to that. No one was to argue and hash out problems, get back to having fun together. Let her come to you and when you get an opening set up a fun filled evening. 3
casey.lives Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 its great that you are laying off.. it's not a break up but a cooling off. dont panic 2
mightycpa Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 Hi I've been with my gf for about a year and a half, to make it short we been arguing alot lately and she's been going through a lot in her life and she wanted space but I never listend and she didnt know what she wants so she was ignoring me not texting me at all and that i pushed her away so I finally told her I just wanted to be there next to her and support her, I finally gave her space she wanted and she sed she appreciated, what can I do now Get used to it. Find another girl.
GoBlue Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 Many break-ups are preceded by the "I need space" speech. This may not necessarily be the case, but you agreed to give it to her and it's time to follow through. Keep this commitment! It is very irritating when someone says that they are giving space only to continually "check in" just to make sure she is "alright." Resist this temptation because it will drive her away if she is even considering reconciliation. I know it's not what you want to hear but the ball is in her corner. 1
preraph Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 She just wants space so she can deal with something or someone other than you, so give her space. Not everyone likes someone involved in everything they do or have to deal with. They can't think because you're around distracting them. Leave her alone. Check in with her maybe once a week and that is all. Just asking how she's doing, not pressuring for anything.
lolablue17 Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 (edited) When a girl (or the opposite - a guy) wants space, it means: "Get out of my social life, but it's only a break so you shouldn't date other girls, wait for me until i decide what to do with you, while I'm allowed to date\fuc# other guys". OP - If you're Ok with those terms, I wish you luck. The only way that "a break" can mean something else - Is when the side who initiated the break set a time limit and says loud and clear that she is not going to date other guys. If she keeps it vauge, then go to paragraph one. Edited June 25, 2015 by lolablue17
grokcahsevol Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 The only way that "a break" can mean something else - Is when the side who initiated the break set a time limit and says loud and clear that she is not going to date other guys. If she keeps it vauge, then go to paragraph one. She could also be saying that to not hurt feelings any worse then it is.. I say this because my girlfriend said that and also said if I hook up with anyone, it will be with you As much as I'd like to believe that.. I just couldn't
lolablue17 Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 (edited) She could also be saying that to not hurt feelings any worse then it is.. I say this because my girlfriend said that and also said if I hook up with anyone, it will be with you As much as I'd like to believe that.. I just couldn't I agree with you. I was talking about the cases she's telling the truth :-) We all try to accept their need to have space, but let's be brutal about it: If i needed space someday, I would never let the other side to be in the dark, and i would have always always taken responsibility for my actions. If it was me who needed space I would have told if i mean a break up. i would have set a short time limit and i would have set the rules of the "break". All those girls who want breaks are simply selfish and dishonest and disgusting. I would have never agreed if my girl would have done such a thing. I would have immediatelly called it a break up and would have never looked back. Edited June 25, 2015 by lolablue17
TaraMaiden2 Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 The ages of those concerned would be useful. I'll bet a pound to a pinch of something we're talking late teens early 20's here...
Sameold Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 I need space or a break is usually the forerunner to the break up. I'd suggest that if she needs space stay well back and as a test see if she comes back to you.
Author xavier562 Posted June 26, 2015 Author Posted June 26, 2015 Well Thanks everyone, I haven't contacted her at all but she is straight up and I forgot to mention she also sed if she wanted to ended it she already would have, it may sound like theres hope but from her point of view what's that suppose to mean ??
Chi townD Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 Dude, I have a feeling there's someone else in the picture. She hitting all the earmarks. Let me guess, you two argued a lot but, when you think back to those arguments, she started the majority of them. If this is the case, that's because of guilt and also a reason to give herself permission NOT to feel guilty about talking this other dude. "If he wasn't such a jackass, I wouldn't be talking to this other dude". She says that she wants space. Translation? She wants to see if there's anything there with this other dude without you looking over her shoulder. Talk to him out in the open, text to him out in the open without fear of you finding out. But, she's keeping you on the hook just in case things don't work out with this other dude...well, she has you waiting on the sidelines. She says that she doesn't know what she wants; feels confused. When a girl tells you this, it normally means that they feel confused between the feelings they have for you and this other person. I hope I'm wrong, but it wouldn't shock me if you discover that there is, in fact, someone else.
dumbass2 Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 Let her know you need some type of time frame to get back together soon and talk about things. How long does she need space? A week? 3 weeks? A few months? At some point here after at most a week or two, you need to ask that question so you're not left hanging.
Chi townD Posted June 27, 2015 Posted June 27, 2015 LOL! I wonder how she would have responded if you would have suggested that you still were exclusive during this "space apart".
Simon Phoenix Posted June 27, 2015 Posted June 27, 2015 "Space" is basically test-driving a breakup. She's going to drive around the lot, see if she likes how it feels, then she's either going to go with the new car (breaking up) or keep her old car for a while longer until she either sees a) her dream car or b) is so sick of her old car (you) that she'll be willing to drive anything else. Either way, the only way you have any shot of anything with her in the future is if you stay backed off now. If you "check in", you're digging your own grave.
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