pineapple_hearts Posted June 24, 2015 Posted June 24, 2015 My ex and I were together for almost 3 years, and believe me when I say we were soulmates. We devoted ourselves completely and it was certainly one of those relationships wherein you give the other everything and when it ends you have nothing. To cut a long story short, it went a bit down hill. We started to argue over silly things and he had an anger problem. But we loved each other so much and we always made up. He told me he felt it didn't work any more and we broke up. He said he missed me and he thinks he still loves me. He asked to be friends. But he also said that we needed this space, to see if we would come back together. What is this seeing if we come back together? Fate? It sounds like bull to me. He is the one who would come back to me, he knows I love him so much and I am willing to try once more, to make it work. I know we are meant for each other and i can't let go. I am so depressed and crushed, all I do is cry and I have been contemplating just driving my car into a wall at 100mph because I am just walking about here like a zombie and I am already dead. But this would kill my family, but it is my life and it is not worth living if he won't give us another chance, at least then I know we TRIED, yes we TRIED and we didn't just walk... So I haven't heard from him since last Monday, I went no contact with him. I convinced myself he would call, he would text, he would ask how I am. But..nothing. After all our memories and how much we understood each other, he has just walked away. Does he not feel hurt? Pain? Lonliness? WHY won't he just come and get me? I can't deal with this, this pain I feel is almost surreal, I am trapped in a nightmare and I can't escape... will he call me? What do I do? Please don't tell me to move on, I can't do it. I cannot live without him, he is my whole world and I need to find a way to get him back...
nzguy1982 Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 Hi there, I'm sorry you are going through this pain. Trust me I know how you are feeling right now. You sound like the female version of me. I'm messed up over this break with my ex gf. We were so good together and all I want is her back as my gf. Today is the first day I fully cried and I'm not much of a crier. I struggle with NC and the longest I lasted was probably 4 days. I've tried all the things people suggest. But I can't seem to motivate myself into doing anything like working out, socialising just everything. I struggle with life at the moment I can't eat, I have lost so much weight. All I do is go to work then home and hide away from the world in bed and dream about getting back with my ex. I didn't like the part about driving your car through a wall. I've thought about doing the same.. well not driving my car through a wall(bad idea what if you survived but was in a worst state) but you know not being around. But you are right your family would be devastated and the only thing that achieves is making others hurt and the people you love. I know I couldn't do that to my family and I'm sure you can't too. I'm not here to give you any advise because well I can't as you can tell. If I knew what to do to make you feel better I would be doing it myself and wouldn't be on here. What I can offer is my support and be here for you if you need someone to talk to, and maybe in turn that may help me. I hope things get better for you. Take care
Satu Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 (edited) You need some time to calm down and get your heads straight. Too much exhausting drama is not good for anyone. Edited June 25, 2015 by Satu 1
15Love Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 I'm so sorry you're feeling so much pain right now. I'm 7 days no contact. It hurts like hell. I just want you to know you're not alone.
Happines Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 I totally understand you...I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years hoping he will come to his senses and will work on his issues because he started treating me pretty bad...after I moved out from his place few days he sort of said he loved me he cared for me he will try his best to make it work but few more days after he completely stopped texting me...I went to pick my last things up but he didn't even let me in saying he can't bear seeing me in the flat like before and then see me leave...he clearly was no longer alone...we had completely 0 contact fur nearly 3 weeks now and he didn't even bother to ask me if I feel alright...he clearly moved on and most likely whatever he said to me was a total lie in regards to feelings I am super sad and hurt but it's alright...I spoke to my family my friends and even my dad said that after all I did for him not t even ask me if I am feeling alright us completely horrible and I should not talk to him ever again
mightycpa Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 Actually, you can deal with it. Sure, it hurts worse than anything you've ever known. Not calling or texting or whatever you do is the hardest thing you've ever done. You're lonely, you feel rejected, you are suffering from the effects of change that you don't want, and probably didn't expect. Move on, one minute at a time. You can do it, and you must. You don't get to decide for him. He has decided and all you can do is get used to it. I know it is difficult to believe, but one day all of what you're feeling will be all over, and after that, you'll feel even more devoted to someone else. Concentrate on whatever it is you didn't like about him. The anger thing, for instance. You called it a problem. His problems will help you right now, and give you the strength you need. Remember them. Remember him that way, not in the fairy-tale "he's the greatest" way. It will make it easier, and help you control your thoughts. It will help you diminish your desire, which is irrational right now. Millions of people have felt what you're feeling. It is a rite of passage. You can do it. It won't be easy, but you can do it.
Tater Salad Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 I promise I won't tell you to move on, but I think you know that is what you need to do. It is still so early in your break up and the pain is horrible, I know. Suicidal thoughts bounced around a lot in my head too, but that would hurt everyone in your life but you, and that is selfish. You will find a great man that will make you embarrassed that you ever felt this way about your ex. I would implore you to not anxiously wait for him to come back. I did this, and I think it is natural, but it makes you weak. The entire break thing is him being too much of a puss to be a man and end things. He is dangling you and keeping you in the wings just in case he needs you. Do you want to be his parachute he keeps under his seat just in case? The answer is no. If he does come back, you will always feel insecure about the relationship. If he can leave you once, he can leave you twice, three times, etc. My advice is to feel this pain and endure it. It sucks, I was in your position 9 months ago and all was hopeless. Now I'm on these forums, not for help, but to give help to those that are hurt, like I once was. Hang in there, girl. You are stronger than you know.
Author pineapple_hearts Posted June 25, 2015 Author Posted June 25, 2015 Thank you everyone for replying. I was in such a bad way last night. It has numbed me this morning, I woke up not so long ago around 9 and he had text me saying 'Hey how are you? Thought I'd say hello' Do you guys think I should break NC and reply? Do you think he's texted because he still loves me or is just being nosey? Or the fact that the rent is due on this flat I am still in 10 days time? I don't want to get my hopes up. I really love and miss him but I don't want him to know how much I have suffered.
Tater Salad Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 To me it sounds like he is just keeping you in the wings for a fall back if he needs it. If I were you, I would not return the text. It goes against everything you are feeling, and it will be the hardest thing to do, but you deserve someone that will NOT leave you, ever.
Recommended Posts