Could being seen as an A-hole but deep down a good man work?

[Krieger]

Well after reading about what Highly Sensitive people I am more of the following.

 

The highly sensitive male may have trouble fitting into the narrow mold of a stereotypical male, but he has many wonderful qualities. Some of these include:

• Compassion
  
• Gentleness
  
• The ability to act as a peacemaker
  
• Concern about the humane treatment of animals
  
• A sense of responsibility
  
• Conscientiousness
  
• Creativity
  
• The tendency to feel love deeply
  
• A great intuitive ability
  
• An awareness of their unity with all beings
  
• The ability to have and appreciate deep spiritual experiences
  

[eye of the storm]

I have a male friend that wears his heart on his sleeve and cries... sometimes in front of me. I love the dude but...I am so glad I am not his wife. His wife is a good friend of mine and she tells me she loves that her H is so open with his feelings.

 

You need to find someone who loves and values you. All parts of you. If you naturally wear your heart on your sleeve, why do you want to be with someone who doesn't cherish that. Do you really want to be in a relationship where you have to hide who you truly are.

 

And I don't care that "most" women want XYZ. There is a person out there that wants someone like you. You are unique. Be at peace with who you are.

[jen1447]

A-hole's not on the list? Damn.

[Krieger]

I have a male friend that wears his heart on his sleeve and cries... sometimes in front of me. I love the dude but...I am so glad I am not his wife. His wife is a good friend of mine and she tells me she loves that her H is so open with his feelings.

 

You need to find someone who loves and values you. All parts of you. If you naturally wear your heart on your sleeve, why do you want to be with someone who doesn't cherish that. Do you really want to be in a relationship where you have to hide who you truly are.

 

And I don't care that "most" women want XYZ. There is a person out there that wants someone like you. You are unique. Be at peace with who you are.

 

 

Well I do not cry over every thing that would be weird to me. I would how ever cry if my GF was crying because I do not like seeing her hurt .

[Krieger]

A-hole's not on the list? Damn.

 

My life would be a lot easier if I was an A-hole.

[GorillaTheater]

My life would be a lot easier if I was an A-hole.

 

I doubt it. The type of woman that an A-hole might attract wouldn't from the sound of things be the right woman for you.

 

I might be a little more circumspect with the emotions I'm willing to display, particularly with women who don't know me that well, but there's no need to swing to the opposite end of the spectrum. I think you'll find that the A-hole act would be a little tiresome to maintain.

 

Even I can't be an A-hole all the damn time.

[Krieger]

I doubt it. The type of woman that an A-hole might attract wouldn't from the sound of things be the right woman for you.

 

I might be a little more circumspect with the emotions I'm willing to display, particularly with women who don't know me that well, but there's no need to swing to the opposite end of the spectrum. I think you'll find that the A-hole act would be a little tiresome to maintain.

 

Even I can't be an A-hole all the damn time.

 

 

I just have to love myself and if a woman does like me so be it.

 

I am not sure how woman view men that are highly sensitive or just have a sensitive side.

 

Woman are funny some times they want a man the not a pussy but don't want a man that cries over stupid stuff like if he does not get his way.

 

It seems I am better off holding the fact that I a sensitive side until i can trust her.

[elaine567]

Not sure how being scared of being seen as YOU, yet OK with being seen as an a$$&hole works?

 

Surely better to attract people who get you, rather than the naive, the insecure, the codependent and the idiotic that tend to get attracted to a$$%holes. No?

[Krieger]

Not sure how being scared of being seen as YOU, yet OK with being seen as an a$$&hole works?

 

Surely better to attract people who get you, rather than the naive, the insecure, the codependent and the idiotic that tend to get attracted to a$$%holes. No?

 

 

I just fear some woman might think there is something wrong with me .

[Tayla]

intuitive empathy.

 

Usually such a person is balanced in mind and presence of mind. Being equal , not defensive or callous.

 

Most folks who can handle the more in depth person has this in themselves.

 

Best to you in fine tuning this character trait.

[loveweary11]

Krieger... you're so close...

 

It's not that you need to be an *******. It's that you need to pick up one single trait all *******s have:

 

Stop caring.

 

Stop caring what any girl thinks and don't plan things around chicks.

 

Screw them. Do what you want to do and see who pops up along the way. Only vaguely plan for the possibility of a chick.

 

Mainly, the ******* trait you want is just not caring what happens with any one girl.

 

That's all you might want to look into. Don't go around acting like an *******. Act more aloof.

[WomenWubber]

@Krieger

 

Do you believe in like attracts like? I do.

 

Under that premise...

 

- If you are an as$hole, chances are you will attract women who tolerates/likes as$hole-ish behavior from men.

 

- If you put on a facade and play mind games, chances are you will "attract" a woman who will not be attracted to the real you. Or even worse, you may attract a woman who is a bitch and hides her true self just like you do.

 

Would that work for you?

[toolforgrowth]

Krieger... you're so close...

 

It's not that you need to be an *******. It's that you need to pick up one single trait all *******s have:

 

Stop caring.

 

Stop caring what any girl thinks and don't plan things around chicks.

 

Screw them. Do what you want to do and see who pops up along the way. Only vaguely plan for the possibility of a chick.

 

Mainly, the ******* trait you want is just not caring what happens with any one girl.

 

That's all you might want to look into. Don't go around acting like an *******. Act more aloof.

 

Totally this.

 

You're revolving your life around women. They're not the end all, be all, of life. They're merely one part of out thousands that comprise life.

 

You're a product of our modern society, in which we have become gynocentricized (yes, I made up a word, just roll with it). You were born and raised to believe that the opinions of women are most important opinions of life. That is categorically false. That's not to say women's opinions are unimportant, because they're not. They simply don't carry any more weight than other men's, or children's, or the elderly's, or any other group of people's. And in the end, your opinions are more important than all of those other groups' opinions.

 

For me, there came a day where I simply stopped caring. I behaved with women as I would with anyone, and didn't try extra hard to garner favor. And interestingly, really beautiful women started to pay more attention to me. That's not to say that all of them were interested in me, because not all of them were. But some were. And it was pretty cool.

 

Some I'm just friendly with, and that's enough. Sure, I may think "man, she's really gorgeous", but I don't get jealous over the fact she doesn't get all tingly over me. But some did get tingly over me, and I enjoyed it. And I'm not exactly what you'd call a hunk. More like a highly intelligent geek who happens to have good fashion sense (many people joke I should be gay. I run with it. It's healthy to have a laugh at your own expense sometimes).

 

There are so many other things in life besides women. I didn't appreciate being single until I divorced my ex wife and the tumultuous relationship I had during and after the divorce also ended. Masturbation's value really increased for me after that.

 

If you're lonely, try seeking companionship with other men. It was very helpful for me.

[Woggle]

Stop caring what women think and things should fall into place.

[preraph]

I don't care what you're hearing. Women like a nice guy. Most guys who go around saying they don't have bigger problems beyond being nice or not nice. Like confidence problems or bitterness problems. Be yourself and someone will like you for who you are. You seem like a nice guy to me. Don't believe all this crap you read. It's usually guys trying to overlook their bigger issues and oversimplify it and blame it on women not having the good sense to like them.

[Satu]

OP: This is the best advice that anyone will ever give you:

 

Be the exactly the same person on the outside and on the inside.

 

Never, ever, ever, employ any kind of pretence in your dealings with people.

[Mr Carson]

An ahole does what an ahole does, an ahole really doesn't care, I think you care?

[Krieger]

Krieger... you're so close...

 

It's not that you need to be an *******. It's that you need to pick up one single trait all *******s have:

 

Stop caring.

 

Stop caring what any girl thinks and don't plan things around chicks.

 

Screw them. Do what you want to do and see who pops up along the way. Only vaguely plan for the possibility of a chick.

 

Mainly, the ******* trait you want is just not caring what happens with any one girl.

 

That's all you might want to look into. Don't go around acting like an *******. Act more aloof.

 

Well I am naturally more aloof so I been told .

[No Limit]

If you want to try to be a bad guy you have to pull it off the whole way, not just half-heartedly. Otherwise the dramaqueens your bad guy style will attract will be gone in less than a month.