JohnnyFlash Posted June 24, 2015 Posted June 24, 2015 (edited) Hey y'all. I been on this forum for a couple of weeks now trying to decipher my break up, however I am still confused as to what I should do. I met my ex in late August thru a mutual friend. She's 19, I'm 20. We've hit it off ever since. We've been really good friends and 2 months into our friendship we both had mutual interest and began to date. Initially, she said she wasn't ready for a relationship, in which I completely respected and understood, however she confessed her strong feelings for me and realized she'd love to try and make things work. We go to the same school, and have the same social group. We did everything together, we hung out all the time, we were each others companion. In late January we went on a trip and confessed our love for each other. Everything seemed very perfect as we were inseparable. We talked about the near future, and we just enjoyed the ride. One flaw of hers - she admitted she makes irrational decisions based on her moods, and admitted to her slight immaturity. Then this happened Fast forward to late April/early May. I could see the signs of her not being as attached but they weren't enough to completely call her out on it. One day she called me and said "I don't know why you love me so much" out of the blue. She explained that she loved me alot and was really attached to me but she just didn't know how to make it work. She asked if we could stay friends, to my mistake I agreed. We hung out a few times, and in one of those times (early June) she broke down crying. She said the breakup was the hardest thing she's ever had to done, but she was firm with her decision. I asked her if she'd ever reconsider, she said making me wait would be selfish of her, but it would destroy her if I started with somebody new. Since then, we both went NC for 3 exact weeks. Just yesterday she messaged me and said she's having a terrible time coping with the breakup. I told her the same, but if she wasn't trying to reconcile, then talking wouldn't be the best option for her. She agreed. I can't help but to have hope that she'll turn around, but I'm looking forward to turning the page and moving on. We keep each other on social media however I don't watch her posts but she watches mine. She said "she cant help but to keep her eye out on me" She was amazing with absolutely no problems in the relationship. She reiterated how I'm her favorite person and I'm the best thing that ever happened, but she's scared. What do you think will happen? What do I do? Move on? Or support her until she's okay? Edited June 24, 2015 by JohnnyFlash
Benco Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 I wish I could take my own advice. But the second you cut this girl off so to speak, I'm confident she'll be back. We all want what we can't have or isn't readily available to us. Just do you, buddy. 1
Rewan Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 I think Benco really hit the nail on the head here.. :S Unfortunately, I think that this girl is having trouble standing on her own two feet while she figures out what she wants. It began when she specified that she wasn't sure she was ready for a relationship and then suddenly wanted to make things work. Then when things went really well for a long while, she still wasn't certain what it was that she wanted. And now she's saying that she doesn't know if she wants to be around you but that it'll hurt her if you date someone else.. I think in this case, it sadly comes down to tough love.. I think the best thing right now is for her to learn how to stand on her own without you and to decide in her mind what she specifically wants, if anything, from you. I can understand how much it hurts because I've been forced into a situation like that before.. But in the end, by focusing on yourself and granting yourself space from her, you'll at least walk away knowing where you stand. I hope this helps..
Author JohnnyFlash Posted June 25, 2015 Author Posted June 25, 2015 I wish I could take my own advice. But the second you cut this girl off so to speak, I'm confident she'll be back. We all want what we can't have or isn't readily available to us. Just do you, buddy. Yeah I'll take your word for it. I understand that she's confused. At this point, whether it be me in the picture or not, I whole heartedly hope she feels better.
TaraMaiden2 Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 I feel like posting the general advice that anyone under the age of 26 really shouldn't take any kind of romantic relationship seriously, because folks under that age are still growing up and in the experimental stage. No matter how serious or intense it feels, no matter how genuine and sincere the feelings - it won't last. Or is extremely unlikely to. The heart may be willing, the hormones might rage, but the brain? Not even close.... And that's not a criticism. And this is why.
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