grokcahsevol Posted June 24, 2015 Posted June 24, 2015 So quick background My GF of 9 years said she wanted space, most likely because of the girl she use to date before me (I'm a guy) she wanted to figure her self out, but I'm sure it's because she wanted to hookup without "cheating" on me. Whatever. I've been NC for about a week, and she message me yesterday saying "Hey, your money from paypal came" (it's quite a bit of money, and I don't have a paypal account.. and I totally forgot about this money) I replied back by telling her "Put it in your trust fund" Her: "No, I'm gonna give it to you" Me: Sounds like date She didn't reply back at all (what would this mean.. was she taken off guard or uncomfortable?) I then replied "Meet me this day, at this time at this place" and she said "Okay" I had no intentions on reaching out to her, but I'm anxious to see her and hear what she may have to say. How should I go about this meet? I still have all my stuff at her place (which I was going to tell her to donate) I don't know if I should go about asking her questions, or just get the money and leave, or get the money, and explain to her that we can't be friends as I still love and adore her and the only relationship I can have with her is a romantic one.. I need advice please!
d0nnivain Posted June 24, 2015 Posted June 24, 2015 Don't have a meeting. Ask her to send you a check.
Author grokcahsevol Posted June 24, 2015 Author Posted June 24, 2015 Don't have a meeting. Ask her to send you a check. I thought about doing this, but figured I could take this oppertunity with a grain of salt. I mean, she didn't have to tell me about the money.. maybe she figured it was a good excuse to reach out to me.
pidgeon1010 Posted June 24, 2015 Posted June 24, 2015 I thought about doing this, but figured I could take this oppertunity with a grain of salt. I mean, she didn't have to tell me about the money.. maybe she figured it was a good excuse to reach out to me. A dishonest person would not tell you about the money, especially if it's quite a bit of money. I would not read anything into it. If you insist on meeting her, I would just exchange pleasantries, get the money, tell her she can donate your stuff and leave. Unless she wants to discuss reconciling, I wouldn't bring it up as she is the one who asked for space. Why would you need to explain to her that you can't be friends? Has she asked that you two continue on as friends?
Author grokcahsevol Posted June 24, 2015 Author Posted June 24, 2015 A dishonest person would not tell you about the money, especially if it's quite a bit of money. I would not read anything into it. If you insist on meeting her, I would just exchange pleasantries, get the money, tell her she can donate your stuff and leave. Unless she wants to discuss reconciling, I wouldn't bring it up as she is the one who asked for space. Why would you need to explain to her that you can't be friends? Has she asked that you two continue on as friends? Good point, I shouldn't bring it up. Yes, she did mention when she wanted her space, that she would like to remain friends. Which is why I want her to know that won't be possible, and if she wants to try and spark things up again, she can feel free to each out to me. My thing is, I KNOW she is gonna want to talk about something and want me to bring it up.. it's how she is.
GoBlue Posted June 24, 2015 Posted June 24, 2015 So, why were you together for 9 years and not married? Whose idea was it to stay "boyfriend and girlfriend" yours or hers? As far as the meeting goes, you are making an assumption about why she needed "space" and moved to NC. Any decent human being is going to tell you when they have a lot of money that belongs to you. It sounds more like you want answers than she is suggesting a conversation about the status of your relationship. Probably the most effective scenario is to meet in a "ho-hum" manner, receive your money, tell her to "donate your things," and begin to go on your way. If she stops you and initiates conversation then it's fine to respond, but since she is the one who asked for her "space" she probably needs to be the one who attempts to re-connect. I hope it all goes well.
Author grokcahsevol Posted June 24, 2015 Author Posted June 24, 2015 So, why were you together for 9 years and not married? Whose idea was it to stay "boyfriend and girlfriend" yours or hers? As far as the meeting goes, you are making an assumption about why she needed "space" and moved to NC. Any decent human being is going to tell you when they have a lot of money that belongs to you. It sounds more like you want answers than she is suggesting a conversation about the status of your relationship. Probably the most effective scenario is to meet in a "ho-hum" manner, receive your money, tell her to "donate your things," and begin to go on your way. If she stops you and initiates conversation then it's fine to respond, but since she is the one who asked for her "space" she probably needs to be the one who attempts to re-connect. I hope it all goes well. We have talked about out a few times and both mutually agreed it would be best when she was done with school and got a job... although this is what she wanted.. I was already in the planning of taking her for our 10 year and popping the question back in my home country where she loved and wanted to get married... had the entire blue print all in my head! I'm hoping it all goes well too.. thanks!
mightycpa Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 We have talked about out a few times and both mutually agreed it would be best when she was done with school and got a job... although this is what she wanted.. I was already in the planning of taking her for our 10 year and popping the question back in my home country where she loved and wanted to get married... had the entire blue print all in my head! I'm hoping it all goes well too.. thanks!Hmm... first, what kind of school takes 9 years? Second, your meeting. You are putting a whole lot of hope into something that will not have the results you want, I'm afraid. Take the money and run. When someone wants space to figure themselves out, it is hammer time. They are in the final decision stage, where they need a little (very little) time to themselves to validate what is really already decided. If she wanted to be with you, she wouldn't wait to make some grand announcement. She'd be at your door to explain herself and ask your forgiveness. I'm with the D0nnivain. Skip the meeting, unless you really need to see for yourself. This will be nothing like what you want. You will be disappointed. 2
Author grokcahsevol Posted June 25, 2015 Author Posted June 25, 2015 Hmm... first, what kind of school takes 9 years? Second, your meeting. You are putting a whole lot of hope into something that will not have the results you want, I'm afraid. Take the money and run. When someone wants space to figure themselves out, it is hammer time. They are in the final decision stage, where they need a little (very little) time to themselves to validate what is really already decided. If she wanted to be with you, she wouldn't wait to make some grand announcement. She'd be at your door to explain herself and ask your forgiveness. I'm with the D0nnivain. Skip the meeting, unless you really need to see for yourself. This will be nothing like what you want. You will be disappointed. We were together for 9 years doesn't mean she was in school for 9 years she went to uni a bit later.. I am still meeting her in an hour. She just texted me "Are you still meeting me?" She wants me.. lol or she wants to go see her other person
Recommended Posts