mightycpa Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 I think that you are simply weak because of the pot. Tater Salad is right, that you're in one of those "I can't break it off" relationships that happen to people every once in a while. Those people are weak, and they feel a lot better (like Tater Salad felt better) once they break through the weakness of not being able to let go of something not good for them. You were born into this life alone. You don't need anybody in particular. It's that simple. Tara's right too, about the part where Tater Salad is probably wrong. Pot makes you feel good, but it doesn't make you strong and it saps your motivation. Severing an existing relationship takes either strength or motivation, or sometimes both. Settling for your existing situation, caving, going back to someone who's willing takes neither of those things. This is really pretty simple. You aren't all in. So get out. Will it hurt? Apparently. That's the way it goes, but that doesn't make a breakup wrong or unbearable. She's having an easier time than you are? That's also how it goes sometimes. It doesn't change a thing.
Tater Salad Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 You just set yourself back a bit. No worries, dust yourself off, and move forward. I did the same thing you did, call her, analyze texts, etc. It did nothing but cement her negative image of me in her head. You don't want to hear this, but you MUST stop trying to contact her. NOTHING you can do or say can change her mind right now. The wounds are still too fresh, not only yours, but hers. You are not thinking clearly right now, plain and simple, which is completely understandable. What helped me not contact my ex was keeping track of how many days I didn't try to contact her. This sucked. It eventually turned into weeks, months, and now I just don't even care. You are in the hardest part of the breakup now. It only gets easier, and the reasons why you don't belong together will become more and more apparent. It is the darkest just before dawn. I suggest that YOU block HER. On FB, phone, whatever else. It sounds silly, but it is empowering, even if she never finds out that you did. Take care of yourself, bro. We have all been there...
Author Hynesey Posted June 25, 2015 Author Posted June 25, 2015 You guys are just unreal, I love it. You're both absolutely right and she is now blocked on my phone even... I never brought myself to the stalking fb or instagram cause I know how bad it hurts to see her face and I want no part of that hurt. She started getting so mad and used my fear of seeing her against me saying "expect to bump into me, i hope you do" when she's implying being with another guy at a bar. Why don't I hate her even she actually treats me like crap when I don't deserve it... nobody does, we all make mistakes. Tater thats a good idea though, almost make it a game to see how long I can go NC. I look forward to my future updates when I dominate this somehow. Ill get there boys, I love the support
Author Hynesey Posted June 25, 2015 Author Posted June 25, 2015 Just because I'm still up at 2:45am right now I thought I'd throw a random update to myself this time... I notice that right now when my brain has slowed down and I get sort of tired (can't sleep still) I just don't generally think about the crap thats going on.. infact I can focus on what I'm watching as a show right now which I just started "The Following". I know in the morning I'll wake up pretty miserable again but I just want to remember right now where I'm not nearly as happy as id like to be but I'm not panicking bothered by the stuff thats going on right now with the breakup. I'm not even that appalled that I caved the NC tonight. If I felt like this all day that would be quite okay right now lol but my brain will wake up again and start beating itself up. See how tomorrow goes
TaraMaiden2 Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 It's because of your biorhythms. Night time is when the body repairs itself because usually, the vital components (Survival instinct, gut reactions, Freeze flight or fight) are not due to be called upon for any good reason, so your brain goes into lethargy-mode to enable your physical self to heal, as is needed. (That's why head-colds are always worse at night; because your immune system is pulling out the stops to fight the bacteria/viruses...) So you kind of 'numb-down' and the brain becomes more relaxed. In the morning, your brain kick-starts and re-activates, and your mind goes into over-drive... This is why people who work night-shifts either can, or can't do it. Some people find it impossible to train their biorhythms to swap the process, others adapt to it with consummate ease....
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