Can't do life after breakup, need support :(

[Hynesey]

Hey guys, I'm a 23 year old with a severe issue right now.

 

Long-story short... I had never had a romantic relationship. I've smoked pot for 5 years daily. Fell in love with a girl last summer and moved in with her two months of knowing her. Things were great at first, but then we start arguing every other day about her getting frustrated by the smallest things and taking it out on me. I took that as a sign that she didn't love me or care about how I felt sometimes, and that would blow up until I'm the one who starts crying and she calms down then we hug and kiss it out.

 

I'm a complete extrovert where she is the opposite. I thought she was gorgeous even though she gained 20 lbs when she went to school and stopped working out. I started having doubts about us like how at first she was a high for me that meant I didn't even need to smoke, but then as I got comfy I just started smoking on a daily basis. Living with her, which neither of us saw as any issue, and was just my habitual way of relaxing at night.

 

My doubts grew and one morning I woke up in a complete panic when I looked at her. I even threw up because I was obsessing and beyond anxious over why I didn't feel the spark anymore and why I wasn't happy all of the sudden. I broke up with her, felt 1000x times worse than I did without her and had to drop out of my grad program because I could not focus on anything. I tried going no contact and working on myself seeing many counsellors and even trying an SSRI medication.

 

I was acting better but I wasn't feeling one bit better still. She actually contacted me and I fell right back into wow, this is the best and what a huge mistake I made before. Almost all of my happiness came back but something was still missing and worrying me. We got back together and I started smoking a tiny bit more again and the feelings of uncertainty and obsessing thoughts over if I love this girl, and if she's the one, started ruining me again to the point where I couldn't eat sleep or function properly. So I stopped smoking before doing anything rash like last time. But after 4 days I couldn't take it again, I was constantly questioning my attraction to her and the only time I felt happy was during sex (which right when we finish I would feel very worried and guilty).

 

So again I called it off. And again I only lasted 2 days before I couldn't take the pain of not having her so I got her back again. And up until last Friday we got very close and I was forcing it because I thought that something was just wrong with me. Maybe, if I ride it out and still make her happy, that I can be happy again with her too. We got to the point where I was basically living with her again and saying I love you often and I started freaking out again! So I drank and smoked my problems away, but on Friday I got so drunk, blacked out, said I felt like taking my life because I was so low about something (even though I wouldn't and I was just being manipulative) and she dumped me. Game over, thats it.

 

Here I am, day 3, back in the abyss that I entered before, but this one is somehow scarier. I got sent home from work for not even being able to function, I can't eat, sleep (without weed), find motivation for anything, feel happy about anything. All the things that people and counsellors and even my own intelligence tell me to do to cope are strategies that seem to work for everyone else... but not me. I don't stalk her on social media, I try to go to the gym, I try to force down food, I try to redirect my attention and not think about us. I try to remember the bad and think less of the good but each time. I try a new coping strategy it actually backfires and makes my feelings just so much worse. I know breakups take time, but I feel more than just doomed. She's already going out to bars the night after and asked one of my friends if I was okay and he told her ya which I liked but that could not be further from the truth.

 

I can't function properly as a human being and can't feel any shred of happiness. Parts of me want to just try to go back again because its easier to me right now to do that and be unhappy and anxious with her (although I would still feel some happiness sometimes with her near the end but it still wasn't right) than it is to see if this pain will ever go away. I know and tell myself every second that time is the best healer for this, but I don't actually believe myself at all when I say it. It's so unfair that she can just likely be sad but continue to do the things important in her life and still feel joy from that were here I am in complete agony unable to do virtually anything whilst still keeping my dignity.

 

I used to be the most confident person ever, hook up with many girls, worked at a gym, obtained a university degree... and now here I am. In shock. In terror. And I desperately need help and support... I can't do this alone.

 

Please... help

Edited June 23, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Edited for paragraphs

[TaraMaiden2]

For a start, may I suggest you stop smoking Pot, and drinking.

Both are depressants and frankly, if you indulge in such habits, you're not likely to earn any respect from anyone.

Edited June 23, 2015 by TaraMaiden2

[Hynesey]

Tara thank you for at least reading it but your comment as much as I know is true and I have stopped hurt me a ton I didn't come here to be judged I just wanted help. I am a respected person I want you to know, I have a university degree, I am athletic, I am good looking, I have many friends, have achieved many things before I met the girl... but I've lost all happiness and am constantly crying and overthinking. Pot was my self-medication and although I'm not proud of it I still accomplished much in the time I used. But if anyone else has other advice I would appreciate it...

 

And tara I'm not sure if you meant it as harsh as it sounded but in university people drink and smoke, a lot (not everybody either). It doesn't mean its right, but you can't tell me that anyone who smokes or drinks isn't respected by anyone, that seems like harsh generalizing of your opinion.

[Sameold]

The drugs are an issue, leave them alone.

 

With regards to the rest, in my opinion you have realtionship anxiety. It seems that despite you feeling you should, you probably don't love this girl.

 

When you are with her you feel worried and uncertain and yet when you arn't with her you just feel lost and alone. The way forward here is to forgive yourself for not being with this girl. You don't need to know why it doesn't feel as it should it just doesn't.

 

Concentrate on yourself. Life is too important.

[mightycpa]

Tara thank you for at least reading it but your comment as much as I know is true and I have stopped hurt me a ton I didn't come here to be judged I just wanted help. I am a respected person I want you to know, I have a university degree, I am athletic, I am good looking, I have many friends, have achieved many things before I met the girl... but I've lost all happiness and am constantly crying and overthinking. Pot was my self-medication and although I'm not proud of it I still accomplished much in the time I used. But if anyone else has other advice I would appreciate it...

 

And tara I'm not sure if you meant it as harsh as it sounded but in university people drink and smoke, a lot (not everybody either). It doesn't mean its right, but you can't tell me that anyone who smokes or drinks isn't respected by anyone, that seems like harsh generalizing of your opinion.

That was help. That wasn't harsh. Harsh is something like

 

You're a friggin' pothead. Of course you can't focus and of course you're scared and of course you can't function or hold a relationship. Of course you act weakly, because you are weak. You're on drugs all the time, what do you expect?

So, go back and re-read Tara's suggestion, acknowledge the fact that you're not just a person who smokes, you are a user who has passed the 1,800 consecutive day of usage mark. I haven't even eaten for 1,800 days uninterrupted. She's right. Edited June 24, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Satu]

For a start, may I suggest you stop smoking Pot, and drinking.

Both are depressants and frankly, if you indulge in such habits, you're not likely to earn any respect from anyone.

 

^^^This^^^

[Hynesey]

Thank you guys, and to the last person that replied, I thank you! And you're absolutely right and Tara I apologize. It even gave me a short chuckle when you gave me the harsh version. Your right though I am oversensitive, unfortunately I know I've been that way forever and I likely just made it worse by coping with the drugs for so long. I didn't need them before and I was happy and I want to get back to that. But your also right, I haven't came close to forgiving myself for my mistakes and not being with her. I feel like I was just lying to her any myself when things started going differently in my head between us. I just can't believe that I could be so in love with someone for a while then all the sudden freak out and not have an answer as to why I'm freaking out. I certainly have relationship anxiety, when I loved her with everything I would also check in on her to make sure she's alive if she didn't text me back in the time that I thought she should have. I have attachment issues obviously, but I didn't see it as a problem at first because she was willing to give it all back. I guess thats what happens when someone loves you back which she certainly did, we said it everyday all-day living together. I just hope I can move on, I can't even bring myself to go back to my hometown because it just terrifies me and I don't completely understand why. I am afraid of seeing her, I am afraid I'll be weak if I do and try to get her back again, just the thought of her face which I try so hard to suppress by doing things like this and writing makes my brain feel like its shaking and panicking. I can't even fully say that I want her back and she's the only one for me but for some awful reason It feels that way. I sought help from a psychologist, I clearly need the help and can't do this alone. Thank you everyone, anymore input is greatly appreciated and I'll keep you updated so that hopefully I can read back and see some of my own progress

[54JA]

I am so sorry that you are in so much pain. I know the feeling. You already know this, as you mentioned, healing takes time, a really long time. What makes it tough is that, after a break up, it seems like the time takes forever to pass. I remember each time my ex and I broke up (multiple times), one week seemed like forever. What helped me, especially in the beginning was, just focusing on surviving a few hours/moments at a time, giving myself a pat on the back every time I succeeded in keeping it together (not stalking/not drunk calling the ex) for a few hours. Hang in there.

[TaraMaiden2]

Permit me to point something out to you, which may have escaped your notice (and you're not unique in this: )

 

I am a respected person I want you to know, I have a university degree, I am athletic, I am good looking, I have many friends, have achieved many things before I met the girl...

 

These - believe it or not - have absolutely nothing to do with Who. You. Are.

These are standard achievements, and they denote your social status - but they're nothing to do with the core of your existence, and right now, even with all these attributes - your degree, your athleticism, your good looks, your broad circle of friends, your many achievements - they mean nothing, because right now - you don't like yourself very much at all - do you?

So when you look in the mirror at the guy who you see - where do all these wonderful attributes, figure?

 

but I've lost all happiness and am constantly crying and overthinking. Pot was my self-medication and although I'm not proud of it I still accomplished much in the time I used.

This is just an excuse for bad behaviour. How do you know you would NOT have achieved those things, without Pot?

That substance is probably at the root of your disturbances right now.

Seriously.

 

... in university people drink and smoke, a lot (not everybody either). It doesn't mean its right, but you can't tell me that anyone who smokes or drinks isn't respected by anyone, that seems like harsh generalizing of your opinion.

 

Tell me, does EVERYONE in University drink and/or smoke? Do all your fellow high-achievers indulge in these substances? Do you know anyone with an Honours or Distinction, who got there without Pot/Alcohol?

 

I think you'll find the majority of people have MORE respect for these achievers.

 

Pot distorts your perception.

It distorts your understanding of things.

There is no question whatsoever in my mind, that this self-medication, this liberal use of a suspect substance, has most definitely contributed to the current mental state you find yourself in now.

 

And it is distorting and skewing your current emotional opinion of what has happened with this young lady.

Essentially, she dumped you because she lost all respect for you.

And even with all your wonderful attributes, I'm pretty certain I couldn't take a Pot-head who is so up-and-down, stoned, sober, drunk, logical, level-headed, erratic, dramatic and seemingly psychotic, either.

 

You're intelligent, educated, popular, and studious.

Yet emotionally you're untrustworthy, unpredictable, extreme and volatile.

 

The girl wasn't the problem. Your projected feelings, fuelled by Pot and alcohol, were the problem.

 

You really have to get your schytt together and quit these stimulants.

If necessary, get help.

[toscaroscura]

I know you're in pain, but you've already broken her heart multiple times now. I feel very bad for her, reading your story. I think you need to quit all substances for good, seek counseling and let her move on.

[Tater Salad]

Don't blame yourself. Don't blame the weed. Alcohol doesn't help, but that's not the issue. The issue is that you two do not belong together. You are young. I was in the same boat when I was your age. I am 41 now. I had an off and on again relationship when I was in college for 5 years. It felt good to break up, then I would regret it, then we would get back, and I would regret that. This wears on you, and her. It is SO unhealthy. If you two belonged together, you would NEVER break up, let alone get back together. The relationship suffers from the constant severing. It is like shattering a vase and glueing the shards back together. It will mostly resemble its original form, but it will never be the same. It will never be as strong as it once was.

 

The girl I am speaking of dumped me after 5 years of toxicity. I was 25 and devastated. Didn't hear from her after the dumping at all. Then, 3 years later, she nervously called me after finding my new number, and was asking about my life and told me she wasn't dating anyone. When she called, my new gf answered. I realized how better off I was with my new gf. (We eventually married, had 2 kids, then divorced after 7 years). I was totally indifferent to her, it felt great.

 

Fast forward 8 more years and she reached out to me on FB, and said I was the first person she truly loved. She had just married and was probably comparing him to me. I still didn't care about her, and it still felt good.

 

This girl was toxic, and even though the pain was unbearable when she left me, I am SO glad she did. I went on to have meaningful relationships, and have my heart broken 3 more times. I look back at the misery I endured, and I kind of miss that pain. Not because I like pain, but because it reminds me that I can make it through anything. And I was capable of loving and being loved.

 

My point is, you WILL get through this. My words might land on deaf ears right now, and you don't want to hear this, but this is a blessing in disguise. And this pain will sculpt you into a caring, loving, passionate partner, that your new gf will cherish.

 

For now, stay single. Go workout and exercise so you will be exhausted at night and can sleep. Eat when you are hungry. Your appetite will return with a vengeance. Don't numb yourself with booze or drugs. Feel the pain. Experience the pain. Endure the pain. Then one day, you will realize that it doesn't hurt as much. Then before you know it, love will find you again. Try to socialize. Maybe do new things that don't remind you of her. Cry. Yell. Feel.

 

It only gets better...

[TaraMaiden2]

Hi Tater Salad, and welcome to the forum.

 

But it IS his fault, and it IS the weed.

 

If he had not behaved in the way he did, under the influence, I suspect things would be in a far better state.

 

His erratic, unpredictable and distasteful behaviour is down to the fact that every time he smoked pot - that's where it all went.

 

to Pot.

Edited June 24, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Hynesey]

Tater Salad thank you so much my friend! You have it exactly the way I know it should be... I love how you even understand that I hear and understand what your saying but with "deaf ears". Its like I'm saying the right things and doing them but I'm just talking out my arse so to speak. I really REALLY appreciate that.

 

Tara I'm going to respectfully ask that you never post anything again on this thread. You judge so intensely and you certainly (like everyone else) do not know the whole story, like the time when she assaulted me. Something I have NEVER even thought of doing and I think is despicable. Its things like that that make me a great person that are all heightened by the other things i mentioned. I'm athletic because I worked at it for years, I think Im good-looking because I've also worked and enjoyed bettering my appearance for myself, I have two university degrees to be exact and even though I smoked in University I worked my butt off and got the job done. So stop bashing me and respectfully leave me alone. You actually are reminding me of something that I hated between me and my ex... you both have no empathy. I asked for support here, not judgement and your picking apart my lines telling me I'm a bad person and that it IS my fault or whatever you said. There are two people in a relationship, and even if I gave it up long ago and tried with her, the same thing would have happened because she can't change who she is (and I would never try to change someone, another reason Im a fantastic boyfriend). I have a list of stuff that would make you cringe at her behaviour but you know what... I'm a nice guy, and I don't need to do that like you did to me. And you are the most conceited person I've listened to the way you just told that other guy he's plain wrong? Thats your opinion, so if I put this thread in the "please kick me while I'm down section" then go bash me there. But I'm doing what I need to do in life to be happy now, I hope you can find some reason and empathy someday instead of getting too fired up at a guy who's at his lowest point and starting an argument. I don't know if you noticed my apology to you earlier for being oversensitive but I take it back, you're just ruthless and out to hurt, not help.

 

Sorry to everyone else that reads this, I hope people like that don't do this that often on this forum. I guess this is what being "trolled" is? Either way, thank you to everyone else and I plan on being better so that I can shed some guidance when someone else feels similar.

 

P.S I talked mostly about myself in my initial post, so I understand that I look like the 100% perpetrator but thats not the reality. She wasn't even close to perfect either but I'm really not the kinda guy that gets angry and spiteful so I feel no need to tell everything about her so that others can say "what a b**** she is"... she has had her moments but I forgave her for them.

[NopeNah]

Hi Tater Salad, and welcome to the forum.

 

 

But it IS his fault, and it IS the weed.

 

If he had not behaved in the way he did, under the influence, I suspect things would be in a far better state.

 

His erratic, unpredictable and distasteful behaviour is down to the fact that every time he smoked pot - that's where it all went.

 

to Pot.

I'm new too .. Not the weed...Just not meant to be. If anything the weed made him realize it.

 

My advice; Smoke a blunt,have a beer and relax.

Edited June 24, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Hynesey]

Oh and one more thing, I have always been an over thinker. The self-medicating helped slow that down but it was the wrong war to go about it and I know that. I'm just asking nicely that nobody else judges too intensely because I poured my heart out in one of my worst moments and the last things I need to hear are things like "it IS my fault" and "it would have been different if you didn't smoke". Because that is untrue, I had zero relationship anxiety for the longest time with her. I apologize for even mentioning that I used to smoke, thats another demon of mine that affects this part of my life so I just wanted to be clear on my background. I love the support though everyone, and to the girl that feels bad for my ex I want you to know that I felt even worse... 1000x worse for her having to put up with me. If its any consolation to Tara I think that if I didn't smoke that I would have been able to cope with the breakup better, but certainly not prevent the breakup because I started having so many doubts. Keep the support coming though, every post helps!

[Hynesey]

I'm new too .. Not the weed...Just not meant to be. If anything the weed made him realize it.

 

My advice; Smoke a blunt,have a beer and relax.

 

Buddy trust me I want to but I'm one of that 5% that can't do that stuff recreationally... I just gotta accept that. I love the support anyways thank you!

 

And lets drop the pot stuff... this is about my relationship ending and me trying to cope with moving on with all of your help!

[TaraMaiden2]

I'm sorry you feel that way.

But in spite of my post count, I've actually been active on this forum for ten years, and it's something I've always done.

Poked people and sometimes - as in your case - made them angry.

Well, good.

I'm glad it had the desired effect.

 

I totally understand why you would have the perception of me that you have, but I'm glad to say (and maybe others may back me - that's fine. It's also fine if they don't) you actually have me totally wrong.

Empathy is a big thing for me. And frankly, you could never reach the depths of self-hatred I sank to 25 years ago. Which is why it's so recognisable in others....

I'm probably old enough to be your mother.

I've been around the block so many times it makes me dizzy to think about it.

 

I'm Buddhist.

And I pull no punches when it comes to trying to demonstrate the veils of delusion we drape, in front of our eyes, time and time again.

 

Anyone who hangs their happiness onto the shoulders of something - or someone - else, is doing it wrong.

 

I'm sorry, but this is a public forum, and while I understand your sense of prerogative to ask me to not post, it's not something you necessarily have a right to do.

 

I slap people upside de head, and frankly, without blowing my own trumpet, many have come back grateful for the blow with the Keisaku.

Hard as it may be to believe, I honestly am not judging you.

I'm pointing out things that have happened. Have I been inaccurate in anything?

Have I lied or misdirected anything you have said?

I do not belittle your achievements, but I pointed out that you cheat yourself and let yourself down with self-destructive behaviour.

Behaviour which was your choice.

 

There are ALWAYS two sides to a situation, and as you rightly say, your #1 post focused on you.

You made no mention, until this point, of her negative contributions, so there was nothing else to go on but the reflection you gave of yourself. That's where the focus lay.

 

I understand you taking offence.

And I can tell, as I have already said, that you are intelligent.

Your posts are coherent and lucid.

I apologise if you are offended and hurt.

But I cannot apologise for the stance I took, because call it what you will, it was bare-faced honesty, based on the information you provided originally.

And sometimes, that's what's needed to bring people up with a start.

Anger is a great tool in motivation.

 

In whatever way you have taken that, it at least worked.

[Hynesey]

I respect that thank you (and the bhuddist choice)! No need for any more of me and you stuff, you're obviously very rational and intelligent yourself I really do appreciate it though! It's 3:04 am right now for me and Im just trying to get any sleep right now... I'll keep updates going as I said. Its gonna be hard, and it might take a little longer than I thought it would but theres GOT to be some light at the end of the tunnel for me.

[TaraMaiden2]

Cool.

 

Sleep well.

Search me for why, but things always look better in daylight....

[Tater Salad]

I was in your boat not too long ago. I was heart broken. I felt like an empty shell of a man, incapable of moving on. Couldn't eat. Couldn't sleep. Could barely muster up a smile. Everything reminded me of her. Now I see things more clearly. Being in the relationship and then freshly broken up, I couldn't see the relationship for what it was in its entirety. Just as an astronaut must leave the atmosphere to see the Earth as a whole, I can view my relationship as a whole now that I am out of it. I can view it from start to finish, in one encapsulated bubble, slowly fading out of sight. Now it seems right that it's over. It still isn't easy, and I think about her every day. But it gets easier every day.

 

Don't let the nasty trolls on here bring you down, they know not what they speak of. I know you're not happy now, and a veil of darkness seems to cast shadows on all that you see. It is like the Wizard of Oz and everything is in black and white, but soon everything will turn to color and you will be happy again. Until then, fake it until you make it.

[Molly12]

Hey.. Look I went out with a guy for four and half years he smoked pot at the same as just something casual but then he got more into it and it became a problem. Il admit I smoked it with him but not a much and I wanted him to stop but he wouldn't and we had many many many fights about it.

Anyway cut a long story short he cheated on me I ended it! I was unhappy in the relationship for a while and I was just hanging on because I was afraid to be on my own I was with him so long I didn't know what it be like without him and that scared me.

But the way you feel about this girl is the way I think my ex began to feel about me, anytime I'd asked about the future he would freak out and I knew by looking at his face he was unsure of me and to be honest couldn't see a future. That hurt me I never questioned him on it but I knew myself that more more as time went on I couldn't see a future with him anymore (before he cheated on me) so when I found out he had cheated I was very upset but I felt a huge relief of my shoulders it was over. He did beg and begged for me back for months and months but I couldn't go back. I think for both of us it was just a routine seeing each other the spark was gone, I will admit weed and that was a part to play in the breakup it took over him and changed his attitude hugely! I know he did love me and I loved him but the actually romance was gone completely he wouldn't do anything with me go on days out or met up with friend he had no interest.

Anyway I don't think you love this girl I honestly think your in a routine and now that has changed your scared and your in panic. When you were with her your not truly happy but it's better than not being with her at all. STOP let her go you she's not the one for you and breaking up with each other over and over its not fair on either of yous! Your head is all over the place right now and it's not fair to bring her back into your life when your not going to give her the life she's deserves! Your messy her head up as much as your own! I doubt she's a stupid girl and she has seen the look on your face of fear and doubt. Get yourself sorted and focus on something else everything will come right for you I promise but you need to stop running back and forwards. Breakups are hard but you do learn from then you will get through this but don't mess with someone else's head along the way it's not far.

[Hynesey]

So im gonna do an update already... because she said she blocked my number before which started to NC which I was broken over but deep down felt its right but today I got a message from her saying to check my email. All it said was something about a cheap 15$ cologne bottle and what she should do with it (seems ridiculous to me to wonder about that but I don't wanna feed into my overthinking), and also about how she opened an account at her vet clinic for my mom so she could keep giving my mom dog food from there. Why she would want to still have contact with my family is beyond me and very confusing. Part of me thinks that she's doing this to spark conversation with me so all i texted her back was "toss it". She replied with "K.". This rattled me and I shouldn't let it but I had many talks that turned into arguments over how when she replies inconsistently with all of her texting with just a one-letter and a period after answer that it makes me feel like somethings wrong. A couple of times I was wrong but most of the time something was wrong that had nothing to do with me and I hated that she always shut down like that instead of wanting my support (only through listening, not trying to fix things). When something that had nothing to do with her bothered me, I would always go to her for support and never take out my issues that she had no part in out on her. Its something I felt she always did to me, made me feel like a punching bag (like someone else hits her so she turns around and just smacks me [figuratively]).

 

Either way, after the "K." text... I should have not replied but I send back "trying to rattle me eh?". I already regret even sending that, I hope she blocked my number before I sent it so she doesn't reply or I hope she just doesn't reply. I think deep down theres a part of me that wants to open up communication lines with the idea that I might cave and try to get her back again or she might do that to me. But we shouldn't. We really can't. Im writing this, but I'm still not fully believing it. On the plus side I'm coping minimally better today and feel the slightest bit empowered that I didn't smoke last night and it wasn't even that hard to do. I didn't sleep till 4am and woke up every hour till 10 with cold sweats but you know what, **** it, those symptoms won't kill me so I can only get stronger. I just want the mental pain to stop so bad still but I know it will take time. I have a rough time distracting myself because when I do I overthink and worry that distractions are just delaying the pain that I should be feeling but in reality even when I'm playing a video game or going to the golf range I still feel the pain. It actually pissed me off this afternoon when I was feeling hungry then as soon as I noticed a txt from her I swallowed all of my insides and immediately lost my appetite. My hands were shaking and I started sweating. Its nuts how she can have that effect on me, and I say to myself "why the f*** are you letting her?". But I'm trying not to let it bug me its just what my body does and its how my brain works. All those symptoms stopped already when I got home and started playing guitar and keeping busy but god do I ever not want that reaction to happen every time she contacts me or if I was to randomly see her or run into her. I just want it to get better!!!!

[TaraMaiden2]

IT's early days yet.

And actually you are fighting on two fronts, which is going to make it doubly difficult.

 

It has apparently been established that coming out of a relationship is precisely - but PRECISELY - like coming off a drug and going 'cold turkey'.

The same areas of the brain are affected!

(Not that the Daily Mail is a top-drawer A1 quality paper, but you get the gist...)

 

If you're determined to come off pot, AND you're getting over this break-up, that could certainly explain the highs-and-lows you're experiencing.

 

No?

[Hynesey]

Tara it certainly is the holy trinity of **** right now for me (if I can find any humour in this lol) but your right yes. And she did reply saying that she's just trying to get rid of my stuff then move on so I said I understand, me too. She then asked me not to throw anything away of hers if I still have it and I asked her if she wanted the golf club I got her for her birthday a couple weeks ago back and she said no you can give it to your next girl. So i deleted the conversation. 3 hours later I get another message saying she's curious if anything of hers it at my house and then another text immediately after that saying "she's sorry she called the cops"(not for anything aggressive I was just so low and drunk on that friday night I was saying that I felt like I didn't wanna be on the earth anymore).

 

... I have my family and friends telling me not to even reply because thats just caving to the NC rule, but I feel like utter **** and its unfortunate that I know the only thing that would make me feel better was if I was to get with her again. But I also know that regardless that I'm not smoking anymore there are still some stark incompatibilities between us and the same thing where I start questioning us and my love for her and my attraction towards her would likely just happen again. I'm so confused and just can't find the joy in doing anything right now I just want to be happy

[Hynesey]

I caved you guys, I called her tonight. I called her and asked for closure. I wanted her to kill all the hope that started brewing in me again and she assured me that she's done. When she asked me to see if any of her stuff was at my old house (I moved to my dads out of the city) she said to mail it to her and i said respectfully that I won't be able to do anything for her again but my mom or whoevers at the house could. All she heard was "I'm not doing anything for you ever" and she said have a nice life and hung up. This is a quality in her that bugged the hell out of me, and I wish I could see more light from this but Im still just kinda in the same spot. I can't tell if that set me back but it's definitely over. I hurt a lot right now, I asked couple things I did't wanna hear the answer too. Through writing this she keeps texting me and I asked if we could just be reasonable about this and she just said theres no being reasonable with a person like me and that she regrets everything. She's trying to hurt me and it's kinda working... I never talked like that to her once ever I don't understand how I can't see it as a good thing that I'm not with someone who gets so much hate going towards somebody who cared for them. I wish I could just get angry, hate and move on but its not me. I need help again guys!