liove Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 Hello all! I have quite a big problem. I am falling hard in love with my Co-worker who is ... less than 50cm far away from me. He is sitting right next to me and we get along extremely well. I think that he likes me as well. We have our own jokes and are quite close. Our colleagues are jokingly making reference to us being a couple etc. There are only 2 small problems : that we are not a couple and I know he has a girlfriend (even though he never mentions her...). I think that what I begin to feel for him is quite strong and deep. I cannot quit my job as I like it very much and I have just got promoted. I can't stop thinking about him and I am afraid that I will make an obsession out of it ( I know myself). How can I walk myself out of this situation? I have never told him what I feel for him because I don't want to make things awkward... Every day of my life I spend it wanting to get back to work to see him again. And on weekends is even harder...I cannot continue like that, I need to get my things in order... Everytime I try to act like he is just a colleague and distance myself from the situation and him, it is him who shows interest or start a conversation. I don't want to spoil the relationship he has with his girlfriend and quite frankly I am afraid to mess it up and create an unbearable situation at work. So anyone? Any ideas?! What should I do to end this situation? I really don't know...and I am quite sick of crying myself to sleep every night. Thanks a lot!
Gary S Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 The best thing to do is find a replacement. Start dating other guys.
Kamila Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 Spend less time with him. Less lunch time together. Don't communicate too much about your private life to him. Don't joke too much. Don't add him on Facebook/Twitter/... Don't do anything to strenghten this emotional bound that is beginning to form. Think about this: the more time you spend with him, the more you're gonna have a hard time forgetting him.
Author liove Posted June 23, 2015 Author Posted June 23, 2015 The best thing to do is find a replacement. Start dating other guys. I AM dating other guys. They are all very fond of me...
Jemay Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 Sometimes we want what we can't have and it tends to make us obsess even more. Spending so much time together obviously feeds that obsession. Most of the time if you leave subtle clues, a guy will know you have feelings, and if he doesn't break up with his current girlfriend and pursue you, then most likely he's not feeling the same. How long has this been going on? If you don't get the vibe that he's also into you, you've got to just move on. And if it's too painful, sorry, start looking for another job. If you're crying daily the job is not worth it, I'm sure you can find something better.
Author liove Posted June 23, 2015 Author Posted June 23, 2015 Spend less time with him. Less lunch time together. Don't communicate too much about your private life to him. Don't joke too much. Don't add him on Facebook/Twitter/... Don't do anything to strenghten this emotional bound that is beginning to form. Think about this: the more time you spend with him, the more you're gonna have a hard time forgetting him. We don't do lunch time together. We are not friends on Facebook (and I never thought of doing it...) We are NEXT to each other 10h per day. When I say next, I mean my Pc next to him. 50centimeters away. I can see everything he a doing on his pc and viceversa... And indeed I will try to Distance myself but I cannot ignore him. We remain colleagues...
Author liove Posted June 23, 2015 Author Posted June 23, 2015 Sometimes we want what we can't have and it tends to make us obsess even more. Spending so much time together obviously feeds that obsession. Most of the time if you leave subtle clues, a guy will know you have feelings, and if he doesn't break up with his current girlfriend and pursue you, then most likely he's not feeling the same. How long has this been going on? If you don't get the vibe that he's also into you, you've got to just move on. And if it's too painful, sorry, start looking for another job. If you're crying daily the job is not worth it, I'm sure you can find something better. It is out of the questions that we date. It will never work out (unless one of us quits which won't happen very soon because he just started here). I will never quit my job because I fought to much to have this position.. I just want to know some unknown possibilities to fall out of love with someone you see daily...
Gary S Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 I AM dating other guys. They are all very fond of me... - lol, I'm sure they are.... men like beautiful women. You need to find someone else for you to fall in love with.... right now you have a crush on the coworker. keep finding new guys to date so you can find the one. That's your best shot, because you can only really love one person at a time... so as I said, you need to find a replacement to full your heart.
Jemay Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 That really sucks then. But just try and focus on the men you actually can date. I'd think if you fall for someone else those feelings will stop. Could you confide in your boss maybe? And have him/her move you to another desk?
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