justsomeguy Posted April 30, 2005 Posted April 30, 2005 I wan't to know something. What is up with this girl? I knew her freshman year of college and she seemed to really like me but I didn't like her at the time, or I didn't realize it. She flirted with me a lot and asked me into her room and sat on my lap. I asked her to get up and left. I remembered her two years later and told her that I actually was attracted to her in an email. And she said she was flattered and respected me for saying so. A year later, I keep running into her, but we only say hi, because I don't recognize her right away and it is always really quick when I turn a corner or something. She recognizes me right away and always says hi first. Then when she walks by I am kinda shocked because I keep trying trying to forget about her and don't react. I looked her up in the directory book and left her a message with her room mate and even tried to add her to the IM buddy list but she refused the add to the friends list. What could be going through her mind? She used to sound really happy the first dozen times I ran into her this year but now she just seems really mopey or something. I don't know how to find her even though I know she lives in the dorm next to me. I feel trapped like I have to do something because I don't want to graduate and think back about this girl. I have no doubt in my mind that I'm physically attractive enough for her, but I may have given her a bad impression about my personality. I feel like I have to do something drastic now because I will never be able to go back in my life and do it later. One of my female friends thinks I shouldn't give up.
AngelTales Posted April 30, 2005 Posted April 30, 2005 You know, you really shouldn't give up. I'm probably too young to give you very good advice, but from the sounds of it.. she gave to you, and you rejected it. Girls can be so sensitive - she sounds outgoing, but for some this is no easy thing to do when they like a guy. I'm going through something similar. So would it be possible to get in a conversation with her about this? If you're still in the dorms with her.. I think you should do something to start. I'm not sure if any of this is a help to you, and it doesn't say whether you have feelings for this girl, but I think it'd be best if you tell her what's on your mind if you want her to stick around.
MadDog Posted April 30, 2005 Posted April 30, 2005 I'd say move on to the next girl. She basically offerred herself to you and you rejected her. She was probably pretty hurt by it and decided to give up (good for her--it means she has some self esteem.) Many times, the boat only comes around once and you've gotta get on when you have the chance.
faux Posted April 30, 2005 Posted April 30, 2005 Originally posted by MadDog I'd say move on to the next girl. She basically offerred herself to you and you rejected her. She was probably pretty hurt by it and decided to give up (good for her--it means she has some self esteem.) Many times, the boat only comes around once and you've gotta get on when you have the chance. I agree. This girl was interested in you, and you showed her that you had no interest. A lot of time has passed since she seemed to flirt with you, and that doesn't help things either. Did you consider the fact that your actions might be interpreted as stalking? If this girl wanted anything to do with you, she would have responded to you.
MadDog Posted April 30, 2005 Posted April 30, 2005 By the fay faux, nice avatar. What's the significance of it?
Author justsomeguy Posted April 30, 2005 Author Posted April 30, 2005 Yeah, that sucks. But I hear you. She actually told me to visit her when I changed dorms. I never did. That was three years ago. So stupid. Still I know I could do something drastic now because I have little to lose and once we graduate in a month I can never go back, even to make a fool of myself. I don't care if she is a total stranger, It might not even matter that we happened to meet in the past. We hardly knew eachother. Every time I try to forget about her I run into her and don't do anything. Then I am mad at myself.
Author justsomeguy Posted April 30, 2005 Author Posted April 30, 2005 Stalking? Damn, I feel crazy so I wonder if that means she thinks I'm crazy. I feel creepy now, so maybe that means she thinks I am. She was fine with me years ago. But I haven't been following her around or anything. Isn't that stalking? I hate how people seem to jump to the word stalking. I guess it might have seemed a little scary since we kept running into eachother and we only said "hi". But it's not my fault we kept running into eachother, I couldn't avoid that. I only said "hi" because I wanted her to do something so I didn't seem too needy. I started to run into her the same time we left/entered the dining hall and one day I commented that it was strange that we had the same timing coming and going. She said "yeah weird" and stopped going to that dining hall at that time. If I was trying to covertly follow her why would I make a comment like that? That was in the begining, later on I only said hi because I was trying to forget about her. I don't think I've done a anything wrong. And it makes me look even worse because I always look right at her as we turn a corner but I don't say hi right away because it takes me a second to recognize her. But she recognizes me right away. I think her face has changed and its been years since I seen her for more than a few seconds at a time. Then she says hi in a sad kinda voice and I say hi back in a happy voice. She used to sound really happy for the first couple months. Not anymore. It pisses me off that I could have scared her away and freeked her out by trying NOT to scare her away. The first time I saw her when she came back I sat down and talked to her for 10 min and then went to class. I didn't want to seem too needy and she said we would probably see eachother around. Well she sure got her wish. I would have arranged something the next time. But she apparantly thought it would be fine to just keep running into each other. So, how could she be uncomfortable with that?
Author justsomeguy Posted May 1, 2005 Author Posted May 1, 2005 I don't think you guys understand what point I'm at now. I started thinking about this girl to begin with because I regreted not just saying to hell with it and doing something. Now I have a great chance to do something stupid or crazy or just anything. I will never have a chance to go back to my senior year of college. The question is since I get to pick something to do before the end what should I do? Show up at her door? Call her room again? I'm starting to care less and less about what I do. I just want to do something because I'll never be able to go back. I might as well pick something that would have the best chance of working. What would that be? I also speak some of of the language she is majoring in which would be fun.
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