max3732 Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 I'm in my early 30s and have had 1 serious relationship that lasted about 2 years when I was in grad school. Our 1st kiss she initiated and after that I initiated kisses all the time, but I've never initiated a 1st kiss with a girl. Now there's a girl I really like, but don't get to see in person that often. If I try to kiss her and she pulls and rejects how will that change what we have? How embarrassing is it for both of us? Can we remain friends and act like we did before or would it ruin things with us? Short of going for a kiss is there anything I can do to see verify she likes me romantically before I try that?
d0nnivain Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 Do not try to kiss your friends out of the blue. It's a sure fire path to rejection. Instead ask her on a date. Then try for a kiss on or at the end of the date. If she declines the date, just act like that is no big deal & go back to being friends if you can. It will be understandable if you need to pull away to lick your wounds. If after you date, you break up you can't be friends at that point. 1
Author max3732 Posted June 23, 2015 Author Posted June 23, 2015 I've already asked her on a couple dates and she's accepted. I was thinking of trying to kiss her but am scared to death for the reasons I already explained. Do not try to kiss your friends out of the blue. It's a sure fire path to rejection. Instead ask her on a date. Then try for a kiss on or at the end of the date. If she declines the date, just act like that is no big deal & go back to being friends if you can. It will be understandable if you need to pull away to lick your wounds. If after you date, you break up you can't be friends at that point.
empresario Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 Fortune favors the bold. You know what's worse than trying to kiss her and getting rejected? Her deciding she doesn't like you because you never take action. Yes, it happens. Believe it or not, women like intimacy. They like kisses. You not kissing her, when she clearly likes you, is probably damaging to her confidence. You know that awkward feeling you get when you're sitting next to her. Both of your eyes are darting. You want to kiss her but the moment feels a bit strange and you have a lot of nerves? Yup, that's the right time. Both of you want it in that moment.
Lansing Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 Don't go in for a kiss then. Try to touch her playfully.. Maybe lead her through a crowd by grabbing her hand or touching the small of her back when guiding her somewhere. Give her a hug when leaving and then maybe at one point let the hug linger and see how she reacts. If she gets the sense you are "interested" and she isn't she will probably back away from you and be less likely to accept your invites. That way, you will know and you won't embarrass yourself. 1
d0nnivain Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 If you have already had some dates & you haven't moved to kiss her she will conclude you don't like her & she will walk away feeling rejected. My husband did not kiss me on our 1st 2 dates & I was fed up. He did kiss me on our 3rd. If he had not, I was prepared to break up with him. Don't let fear stop you. Break the touch barrier early. Hug her hello. Hold hands during the date. Stop. Look deeply in her eyes. Lick your lips. Lean in slightly. If she leans in you're golden. I know it's silly but watch the movie Hitch. It's a good guide. 1
losangelena Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 Years ago a friend and I had a pretty hot and heavy make out session and then went back to just being friends. Granted, I had a crush on him and it was awkward for a while, but things got back to normal eventually.
Author max3732 Posted June 23, 2015 Author Posted June 23, 2015 Part of the reason I'm concerned about her reaction if she's not into kissing is that our parents are friends so I don't want awkard conversations between them. Her mom sends me email and says how great I am, but I'm hoping that isn't just because I've taken her out and never tried anything.
preraph Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 Well, if your parents are friends, you better get used to it because if you do end up dating, they're probably going to know everything and be in your business. They may like it or not like it, but they'll have their own friendships at stake so they'll be curious.
fitnessfan365 Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 (edited) Just because you like her, doesn't mean that she likes you. You have to let her demonstrate interest by asking her out on a proper date and letting her accept. Once you make it clear that it's an actual date, and she says yes, then you can go for a kiss at the end of the date if the romantic chemistry is there. But right now, she's just a friend that you hardly ever get to see. Kissing her out of the blue will most likely freak her out in all honesty. Edited June 23, 2015 by fitnessfan365
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