sapphiregirl Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 He's a really nice guy. We've been on three dates and the chemistry is definitely there. We have another lunch date coming up and he has asked me back to his apartment afterwards. We've been texting about it, and it's pretty clear to me that when I go to his house things are going to get steamy between us for the first time. The thing is - I'm bisexual. He has no idea. From the conversations we've had, its clear to me that he values honest/open communication. I know I should tell him but I'm not sure WHEN. Do I tell him through text before we meet up again? Or should I tell him face to face whilst having lunch? Or not at all? The other thing is that he's not sure 'what he wants' out of this. We're both sort of just going with the flow and seeing what happens, but for me, I'm ideally looking for a relationship in the end. Please help. I'm confused about the morally correct thing to do here.
mangetout Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 Being bisexual is nothing to be ashamed of. I would tell him face to face and straight away! What's important is telling him that you hold strong morals and values when you are exclusive with one person...be it a man or woman. If he reacts strangely to you then you know he wasn't meant to be with you
Day.One Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 From your other post, you're not even sure if you ARE Bi yet? I think you need to just enjoy this guy, for what he is, and what he makes you feel. And if he's as open and communicative as you say, talk to him about it. Explore what you're feeling. 1
giblesp Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 Most of the women I've dated have had an experience with a woman. Its really not a big deal. Why discuss it anyway unless it naturally comes up into the conversation?
Gaeta Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 The real question is are you monogamous? Being bi-sexual is not a free ticket to have sex around with women while in a relationship. If you do want to continue having sex with women then you have to tell him you are not monogamous and need an open relationship to be happy. The fact you are sexually attracted toward both genders means nothing if you are monogamous and I don't even think it's matters to mention it. 4
Arieswoman Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 Q.When do I tell the guy I'm dating that I'm bisexual? A. As soon as possible, if you really want "open" communication.
kendahke Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 (edited) He's a really nice guy. We've been on three dates and the chemistry is definitely there. We have another lunch date coming up and he has asked me back to his apartment afterwards. We've been texting about it, and it's pretty clear to me that when I go to his house things are going to get steamy between us for the first time. The thing is - I'm bisexual. He has no idea. From the conversations we've had, its clear to me that he values honest/open communication. I know I should tell him but I'm not sure WHEN. Do I tell him through text before we meet up again? Or should I tell him face to face whilst having lunch? Or not at all? The other thing is that he's not sure 'what he wants' out of this. We're both sort of just going with the flow and seeing what happens, but for me, I'm ideally looking for a relationship in the end. Please help. I'm confused about the morally correct thing to do here. As soon as it is clear that he's developing romantic feelings for you and from what you've written, it should be asap. Either on a call or face to face, but not by text. But as others above pointed out, are you monogamous when it comes to dating men but being attracted to women. Does having a fling with a woman while in a relationship count as cheating to you? Do you even want to be monogamous right now and with this guy? Are you involved with a woman right now? Edited June 23, 2015 by kendahke
mammasita Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 What do you want to gain by telling him? I agree with Gaeta - do you want to tell him because you intend to be with women whilst dating him?....If so, you're probably barking up the wrong tree. If you're monogamous, in actuality it probably won't (shouldn't) matter in the long run. 1
jen1447 Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 He's a really nice guy. We've been on three dates and the chemistry is definitely there. We have another lunch date coming up and he has asked me back to his apartment afterwards. We've been texting about it, and it's pretty clear to me that when I go to his house things are going to get steamy between us for the first time. The thing is - I'm bisexual. He has no idea. From the conversations we've had, its clear to me that he values honest/open communication. I know I should tell him but I'm not sure WHEN. Do I tell him through text before we meet up again? Or should I tell him face to face whilst having lunch? Or not at all? The other thing is that he's not sure 'what he wants' out of this. We're both sort of just going with the flow and seeing what happens, but for me, I'm ideally looking for a relationship in the end. Please help. I'm confused about the morally correct thing to do here. He deserves to know, just bc it's matter pertinent to your potential relationship. I always tell, but it's usually really not an issue bc in the early days of dating, sexuality/sex-related stuff are um frequent topics of discussion, right? I've never had to have a sit-down type discussion to air that before - it always came out early as a part of some other thing.
Recommended Posts