TheBathWater Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 I started a thread a couple of weeks ago about a woman who I had two promising dates with, and how I overreacted toward her and misinterpreted her when she was asking to reschedule our third date. My attempts to reach out to her a few days later through email received a response, basically saying she appreciates the apology but that my reaction caused her to feel pressured to rush into something, and that it wouldn't work out now. I maintained my apology, still offered her to call me if she wanted to clear the air, and suggested taking a few steps back might help. No response. I can't blame her for writing me off. I have continued dating other women and have a few people I'm meeting up with, but I still catch myself thinking of her! I am disappointed with myself for how I overreacted toward her, although I am also thankful for the experience because I think it taught me a lesson or two. Anyway, I am thinking of reaching out to her again at some point, maybe in a week or so when more time has passed, and sending a text about some article I read or something like that that she might find interesting. I'm not sure what I'm expecting, if anything. I am just baffled by this whole thing and want to take a few steps back with her and talk again. Is this a dumb idea? Do ya'll have any suggestions for how to go about touching base? Is it worth the effort? I just have a curious feeling about this person and I think that the ending sucked. I'm hoping she's dating other people too, like I am, and feeling curious about what might have happened between us if we continued to meet. This woman explicitly told me she called her mother about me and got hopeful in a way that she hasn't in a while, said she saw potential in us for something long-term, and rearranged her schedule to see me (who is she saying is moving too fast?!). We both share the same (difficult) occupation and, overall, really clicked. Maybe we would have been something, maybe not, but it feels so cheap ending like it did and I'd like to see what's there. If I didn't think the both of us had hopes, I wouldn't bother, but something tells me to try again. What's the worse that could happen? A rejection? Any advice is appreciated.
Lansing Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 Don't do it. Just move on. You need to learn how to move on and not dwell on something that didn't work out. The "downside" is getting invested in something in the past again. You will contact her and then spend days wondering if you will hear from her or not... Just move on for good and meet someone knew and don't make the same mistakes.
ThisisIt606 Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 I think you're only thinking about her more because she basically told you she wasn't interested. The heart and mind wants want it can't have and that causes it to seem all the more alluring. You sent her the last messaging saying she could call etc. If she wants to, she will. Sending her anymore messages, especially the link to something she might like will probably creep her out at this point. It becomes borderline stalkerish and badgering once a woman has indicated she's not interested yet the guy still tries to pursue. Just date these other women and see where it goes. Like you said, great learning experience. You've only been on TWO dates with her anyways, it's not like it was a substantial amount of time. She peaked your interest and other women will peak it too.
Author TheBathWater Posted June 23, 2015 Author Posted June 23, 2015 (edited) I think you're only thinking about her more because she basically told you she wasn't interested. I've thought about this too and think there is some truth to it. Just date these other women and see where it goes. Like you said, great learning experience. You've only been on TWO dates with her anyways, it's not like it was a substantial amount of time. No, not a substantial quantity of time, but the quality of the time seemed promising. Yeah, but I know what you're saying. I think what's the most difficult is only once every great while do I get a curious feeling about someone in this way. Know what I mean? I date lots of women, but rarely do I think there's the kind of potential I felt when out with her. It'll happen with someone else eventually, no doubt, but it just sucks to wonder here about this one. It would have been so much easier if it 'naturally' occurred to us we weren't a match or something. I feel the remorse big time because of how badly and randomly I dropped the ball. It could have been prevented. You sent her the last messaging saying she could call etc. If she wants to, she will. Sending her anymore messages, especially the link to something she might like will probably creep her out at this point. It becomes borderline stalkerish and badgering once a woman has indicated she's not interested yet the guy still tries to pursue. Yikes! lol. But you're right that if she wants to call she will. I'm not even sure if talking to/seeing her again would guarantee anything (for either of us). She had her flaws too, and I was still getting to know her. But I guess if she were as curious as me, she'd chance overlooking what happened a couple of weeks ago and reach out. Edited June 23, 2015 by TunaInTheBrine
joseb Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 " It becomes borderline stalkerish and badgering" Yeah I have to agree with this - sounds like she has been very clear. Sounds like you have developed a bit of one-itis - time to move on.
Popsicle Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 I went back and read your other thread. I say no don't contact her. Stick a fork in it.
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