ConfusedMike Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 I've never experienced this before. Breakups are always tough and there are certain reminders like smells or places that have special meaning, but with my last ex, I see her in other girls. I see a girl in jeans and heels, in a maxi dress, lulu, someone that resembles her or even a guy that I could potentially see her interested in...it's absolutely ridiculous! I don't know why I keep doing it. It's like I can't escape her reach. I know she's not good for me and I'm ok with it, but I see reminders of her everywhere. Anyone else experience this, and if so, how are you/have you dealt with it? Good lord I hope this doesn't go on much longer.
ravfour4 Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 As time passes, this will go away. You're seeing her everywhere because you keep thinking about her.
Jemay Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 Yup sucks... was just at a party yesterday, was having good time until flashbacks and reminders like you mentioned hit me, like oh he'd be having this beer right now, it was his favorite... ugh.... it passes. But while it happens it sucks big time. Distracting myself helps, instead of obsessing about it. Sometimes I think we like to regurgitate painful thoughts prolonging the internal drama. Distract yourself, think of positive things as soon as these thoughts hit, and your mind will get bored and forget.
mightycpa Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 Some of my favorite porn stars remind me of old girlfriends. It's not so bad. 1
Author ConfusedMike Posted June 23, 2015 Author Posted June 23, 2015 (edited) I don't have to be thinking of her for this to happen and it's annoying. This girl has herself buried in my heart pretty good and it's hard to get her out...I guess it's like a tick haha. I can't believe I love her so much despite all the crap she's put me through. It's been about 14 months since I found out she never broke up with her ex and since then, there's been some serious trust issues, coupled with some recent sketchy behavior and that's all folks. I finally couldn't stay silent and told her that her past behavior and some recent things made me question everything. For instance, she sent me a picture and she had changed my name to a girls name...I'm like uhhh, what's up with that? and she said she was mad so she changed it to a girl that she didn't like. Supposedly, she's been working every day for the last 4 months between 12-15 hours a day...I don't know anyone that works that much seven days a week so I've hardly seen her and if I call her, especially on the weekends, she won't answer, yet she's working. One time, she told me she was super busy at work, but then sent me a text a short while later that said "We're here!" I asked her who that was intended for and she said she was going to lunch with her co-workers...So many lies and such stupid deception. When I told her why I needed to walk away, she called me a douchebag and said she'd expect nothing less and I was never serious about marrying her...wtf is going on in her head? How does she justify her behavior and I'm the bad guy? Then she said she hated me for the person she's become and she's blocking me on her phone and changing her email and that this would be the last time. Crazy series of unfortunate events. If anyone had told me that they were going through this, I'd smack em in the head and say run as fast as you can...this has trainwreck written all over it. Absolutely crazy how the heart works....even more crazy how much I love her. I haven't spoken to her in over a week and I'm okay, except for these constant reminders which really set me back. I wonder if she ever truly loved me, which makes me pretty sad because I really thought she did. She's only 26 so maybe she hasn't figured out what she really wants yet. I just want to move on. Edited June 23, 2015 by ConfusedMike
Jemay Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 Crazy series of unfortunate events. If anyone had told me that they were going through this, I'd smack em in the head and say run as fast as you can...this has trainwreck written all over it. Absolutely crazy how the heart works....even more crazy how much I love her. I haven't spoken to her in over a week and I'm okay, except for these constant reminders which really set me back. I wonder if she ever truly loved me, which makes me pretty sad because I really thought she did. She's only 26 so maybe she hasn't figured out what she really wants yet. I just want to move on. Oh man, I so relate. It's the ridiculous things in my relationship that I seemed to compartmentalize and ignore. All the red flags ignored in the name of love. And to answer your question, yes, most likely she did love you, the way she knows to love. Lies, deceit, controlling another... that's not love. Leave it behind you and seek real love. I always looked for the bad boy... and that's what I always got, it's what fired me up, made me love, only to leave me sad and unhappy. There's a lot to be discovered within ourselves from these dysfunctional relationships. Start there maybe but whatever you do... definitely move on.
Author ConfusedMike Posted June 23, 2015 Author Posted June 23, 2015 Oh man, I so relate. It's the ridiculous things in my relationship that I seemed to compartmentalize and ignore. All the red flags ignored in the name of love. And to answer your question, yes, most likely she did love you, the way she knows to love. Lies, deceit, controlling another... that's not love. Leave it behind you and seek real love. I always looked for the bad boy... and that's what I always got, it's what fired me up, made me love, only to leave me sad and unhappy. There's a lot to be discovered within ourselves from these dysfunctional relationships. Start there maybe but whatever you do... definitely move on. You seek the bad boys and I seek the attractive girls...unfortunately, she gets a lot of attention from the boys and I think she has some self esteem issues so she likes the attention and doesn't define boundaries well. I guess it's validation for her. There's a trainwreck in there for the both of us with our exes. There were so many red flags, which I'd conveniently choose to ignore and whenever she did something nice, it validated my feelings...yeah I'm an idiot.
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