Otter2569 Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 How would you feel if your SO wanted to go on vacation with their kids and not have you go? For a while now Ive been thinking about taking my sons on a vacation with just us. Kind of a father / son bonding, once in a lifetime kind of trip. I would prefer if if it were just us. My Gf is cool and her kids get along with mine very well but it would NOT be the same. I think I would have hard feelings if they went and they infringed on our time.
Els Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 I've never dated anyone with kids, but I'd hypothetically be fine with it. 1
xxoo Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 We share kids, but I'm taking a trip just with our oldest quite soon. H and the youngest are staying home. H arranged the whole thing. Id be fine with him doing the same. I'll encourage it as our son gets older. 1
d0nnivain Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 Under the circumstances you describe I'd be happy that I was dating a man who understands the importance of binding with his children. 3
Gloria25 Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 If it were me I'd tell him to go and have a great time with his "family"... Yep, I said it - "family" I'm not a big fan of dragging your kids in front of people you are dating cuz the kids may form a bond and if (more than likely "when") you two break up, the kids will suffer another loss. She is not family, and even if your ex-wife/baby mama went, she shoudn't take issue with it...IMO. I mean even "if" you two marry one day (a serious commitment) she still is not a natural member of the family and there will be moments she will have to be excluded for certain things and/or your kids will never call her "mommy".
mammasita Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I'm a single mother dating a single father and I respect the fact that he has his "father/daughter" time without me. I can't lie and say I wouldn't be sad (just a female thing) for not being included but never would I ever be upset nor not understand him wanting to go on a vacation alone to bond. In your case since you have sons - even MORE understandable - "man time".
Got it Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 If it were me I'd tell him to go and have a great time with his "family"... Yep, I said it - "family" I'm not a big fan of dragging your kids in front of people you are dating cuz the kids may form a bond and if (more than likely "when") you two break up, the kids will suffer another loss. She is not family, and even if your ex-wife/baby mama went, she shoudn't take issue with it...IMO. I mean even "if" you two marry one day (a serious commitment) she still is not a natural member of the family and there will be moments she will have to be excluded for certain things and/or your kids will never call her "mommy". Umm, I think many women would have an issue if an ex was going on a vacation with their boyfriend/husband. I don't feel this is reasonable AT ALL. The ex is no longer his family. Mother of his kids? Sure, but divorce means leading separate lives and not continuing family time without the new SO/wife. Sorry that is just insane. In regards to the OP - I have no issues with my husband going on vacation with my stepkids. I make sure they have one trip together every year where it is just theirs for bonding. I make sure they frequently have some type of one on one time as well to just continue their relationship. I wouldn't have issues with it and encourage her to take her kids on a their own vacation as well. Blending families is hard and some separate time is just as important as those blended moments. 2
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