katiegrl Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 (edited) losangelina...... oh I agree it *may* not be a reflection on how he feels about her (or it may be)...and I know some men are just bad at gift giving...like your dad....despite him loving your mom very much. I am just letting the guys out there (who are bad at gift giving)...know that any small gesture to acknowledge and let her know you are thinking about her is thoughtful and a nice thing to do....that's all. I actually hate *shoulds* in relationships....no matter how long they've been dating. He *should* do this... or *should* do that...ugh. The only should that is relevant is that he (or she) should do whatever they feel like doing...and that it comes friom their hearts. If that means doing nothing....then that's okay too...there is no wrong or right IMO. If, like your dad, he never learned or just doesn't place much value on gifts...then that's okay. Sounds like your mom understood and accepted this about him...knew he loved her, so no problem. But in the early stages....when both people don't know and understand these little things about each other...that is when disappoints and misunderstandings like this occur. He is not wrong for not giving the gift...and she isn't wrong for feeling disappointed. Hope that makes sense! Just my $.02 for the day......I realize opinions will vary...which I respect. Edited June 25, 2015 by katiegrl 1
salparadise Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 I mean, she even admitted in her other thread that she didn't invite him to her birthday party! If you were him, don't you think that would've been your cue to get her something? He knew it was her birthday and wasn't invited to the party. If I were him I'd assume a gift wasn't expected. No kidding? She had a birthday party and didn't invite him... and she's hurt because she didn't get a present? This seriously does not compute. 1
Gaeta Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 If my family or friends are throwing me a birthday party I am not inviting a guy I've only seen 5 times. 1
losangelena Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 If I'm dating someone, and we're not close enough to invite him to my b-day party, then I think he's off the hook in terms of presents. Salparadise is right—doesn't quite compute.
TunaCat Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 If my family or friends are throwing me a birthday party I am not inviting a guy I've only seen 5 times. This ^^^ I would only invite someone I was exclusive with. 5 dates still seems like you're in a casual dating situation and I wouldn't want to invite a casual date to a birthday party thrown by my family.
joseb Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 This ^^^ I would only invite someone I was exclusive with. 5 dates still seems like you're in a casual dating situation and I wouldn't want to invite a casual date to a birthday party thrown by my family. Fair enough maybe. But unfair then to expect the same casual date to lauder you with gifts, non?
Gaeta Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 Fair enough maybe. But unfair then to expect the same casual date to lauder you with gifts, non? I think she just wanted her birthday underlined. Not necessary with a gift but taking her out for drinks or for a treat and saying it's for her birthday. 1
smackie9 Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 Ya because being acknowledged with a gift, even a simple one, shows they care enough to make it special for you because they think you are special.....his behavior didn't make her feel he thought she was special to him THAT is why she posted this thread. That is why she is questioning his feelings for her.
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