chicaboom Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 I've been dating this really amazing guy for a short while now. We've been on 5 dates, once a week for about a month. I like the pace we're going at and everything is great....except, last Sat was my 30th bday and he knew that. But he didn't get me anything:( He also didn't take me out for a bday date or dinner. I was a little bummed. We went out the day after my bday to a street festival, he bought a pitcher of beer for us and I bought us ice cream. It was a normal date, it was great. Do you think it's unwarranted for me to expect even a bday date or something? Or is it too soon for that? I was really disappointed. He wished me happy bday but meh I dunno, I guess I expected a little more considering he has really treated me well and has taken me on amazing dates. Is it too much of me to expect a little bday love?
BluEyeL Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 I think it's a bit early to get upset over this. It would have been nice if he did, but at the same time I don't think it's a huge problem at this point. 2
Keenly Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 No one should expect a gift for their birthday. It makes the concept of giving a gift meaningless if its expected. 5
veggirl Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 If I'd been dating a guy for 5 dates and it was his bday, I'd honestly feel awkward about what to do! I'd probably get him something small...I don't think I'd suggest a bday dinner unless we were exclusive. I can understand your disappointment, I'd try to put it behind you though if otherwise he's been a good guy. It certainly wouldn't be a dealbreaker at this point for me. 3
Tayla Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 Did he acknowledge your birthday in a greeting or thru conversation? maybe he has a difference stance on birthdays ...just ask him. and btw... Happy belated birthday !!!!
TunaCat Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 You are overreacting to this. It's been 5 dates, a month. Yes maybe you've felt a real connection with this guy. Maybe he feels the same way, but it's much too early to be hurt that he didn't get you anything for your birthday. If it were me, I wouldn't be bothered by the fact that he didn't do anything special for my birthday. That says something because I love birthdays. I love celebrating birthdays for the people I love. 1
RoseVille Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 At this point, all you can do is expect him to acknowledge it with a Happy Birthday! 2
preraph Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 Too soon! You've only been on five dates. He can't be expected to keep track of holidays with you at this point. If it were me, I'd have asked a few friends to go have drinks or dinner and just included him, specifying "no gifts" to everyone.
Gaeta Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 If he only has made effort to see you once a week than this is very casual dating to me, he is probably dating others too, I think he just forgot it was your birthday because obviously he didn't deem it of importance. 1
trippi1432 Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 If you have been dating for a short time, the first one's are always awkward...heck, what if he gave you an engagement ring when you weren't ready?? I went on a first date with a guy once who handed me a computer, I had the money in my pocket to pay for it since I knew he got it, but he wouldn't take it and said it was for my birthday. That was in April, my bday is in July. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ That is trying way too hard and you don't want that guy, you want someone who is confident in his own skin. So don't put any pressure on him. If he wants to hold onto you exclusively, you will know it by his actions. 1
PogoStick Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 (edited) No one should expect a gift for their birthday. It makes the concept of giving a gift meaningless if its expected. So true! Hell she should have taken him out after only 1 month! And she's 30 years old, not 8. I've barely celebrated my birthday since I was in high school. "Hey I got tickets to my favorite baseball team for my birthday and you're the person I want to join me". Edited June 23, 2015 by PogoStick
jay1983 Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 If I'd been dating a guy for 5 dates and it was his bday, I'd honestly feel awkward about what to do! I'd probably get him something small...I don't think I'd suggest a bday dinner unless we were exclusive. I can understand your disappointment, I'd try to put it behind you though if otherwise he's been a good guy. It certainly wouldn't be a dealbreaker at this point for me. A 6 pack of his favorite craft beer. Make it 2
SunnySide0418 Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 I've been dating this really amazing guy for a short while now. We've been on 5 dates, once a week for about a month. I like the pace we're going at and everything is great....except, last Sat was my 30th bday and he knew that. But he didn't get me anything:( He also didn't take me out for a bday date or dinner. I was a little bummed. We went out the day after my bday to a street festival, he bought a pitcher of beer for us and I bought us ice cream. It was a normal date, it was great. Do you think it's unwarranted for me to expect even a bday date or something? Or is it too soon for that? I was really disappointed. He wished me happy bday but meh I dunno, I guess I expected a little more considering he has really treated me well and has taken me on amazing dates. Is it too much of me to expect a little bday love? I would have been disappointed too. It shows he thinks of this as very casual to me. Have you guys had sex yet? If so, I'd be really bothered. Just see what happens.. 2
katiegrl Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 I would have been disappointed too. It shows he thinks of this as very casual to me. Have you guys had sex yet? If so, I'd be really bothered. Just see what happens.. Yeah I agree...I would have been disappointed too.... but NOT a dealbreaker. For you guys out there...when in doubt, send flowers. Or if it's only a few dates... even an e-card with a bouquet of flowers....with a note wishing a happy birthday...would be nice. Something. So simple...but so thoughtful....and it would mean a lot. 3
SunnySide0418 Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 Yeah I agree...I would have been disappointed too.... but NOT a dealbreaker. For you guys out there...when in doubt, send flowers. Or if it's only a few dates... even an e-card with a bouquet of flowers....with a note wishing a happy birthday...would be nice. Something. So simple...but so thoughtful....and it would mean a lot. Completely agree. Not a deal breaker but flowers would have been so sweet. Or even one rose. Yes, SOMETHING! That would probably make me not as excited about him. 1
lollipopspot Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 Have you guys had sex yet? If so, I'd be really bothered. That's the question.
Versacehottie Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 If I'd been dating a guy for 5 dates and it was his bday, I'd honestly feel awkward about what to do! I'd probably get him something small...I don't think I'd suggest a bday dinner unless we were exclusive. I can understand your disappointment, I'd try to put it behind you though if otherwise he's been a good guy. It certainly wouldn't be a dealbreaker at this point for me. I agree with this but reversed. I wouldn't necessarily get him a gift, unless there was some small novelty inside joke thing or something that organically made sense. I would take him to do something. It wouldn't have to be on the exact day, but around the birthday week. To me, that presumes we are dating and fits with the progression of something we'd be doing anyway that way it would be less pressurized than a gift. 1
ThisisIt606 Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 I would have been disappointed too. It's your 30th bday which is a milestone. Even if he was unsure/thought it was too early/weird to get you a present the fact it was a 30th should have helped to negate some of those feelings a bit. He's either really insecure ( too scared to get a present bc he didn't want you to think he's sending major relationship signs), aloof, or he's just not that into you so he didn't care very much about your bday. At the least he could have gotten you a card and something small. If you've been dating a month (although that isn't long) he surely knows some little quirk about you/something you like. Whether it be a minion or a certain type of candy. Just something small to mark your 30th and show he's been conscious on your dates. 1
Jejangles Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 I would have been disappointed too. It's your 30th bday which is a milestone. Even if he was unsure/thought it was too early/weird to get you a present the fact it was a 30th should have helped to negate some of those feelings a bit. He's either really insecure ( too scared to get a present bc he didn't want you to think he's sending major relationship signs), aloof, or he's just not that into you so he didn't care very much about your bday. At the least he could have gotten you a card and something small. If you've been dating a month (although that isn't long) he surely knows some little quirk about you/something you like. Whether it be a minion or a certain type of candy. Just something small to mark your 30th and show he's been conscious on your dates. I agree with all of this. It wouldn't be a dealbreaker, but I would be wondering how into me the guy was. Some chocolate or booze would be a an appropriate gift for a milestone birthday after a month of dating. Or a dinner out, just some sort of token! I was dating a guy for about a month when I turned 33 and he didn't get me a card or present but he sent me a really nice message on the day (I was out of town) then he took me out for dinner the next time we saw each other. 1
jen1447 Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 I think he should have gotten you sth and acknowledged it. (And yes, flowers would have been perfect.) It actually seems weird to me, 5 dates or no, that he wouldn't even mention it. Was he even aware it was your b-day? I'm personally not a big b-day girl, but what matters is whether you are or not. I think the safe assumption should be that unless you say otherwise, it should at least be acknowledged.
Toodaloo Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 Personally I am on the fence. Its only a month. He may feel that he doesn't know you well enough to do something for you yet. He may feel that you would think it weird. But yes it would have been nice for him to do something. See what he does at Christmas... 1
Els Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 5 dates is a bit early, IMO - I would've understood your disappointment if you had been together for some time, but in this case it's rather iffy. Are the two of you even bf/gf yet, or are you still in the casual dating phase?
elaine567 Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 He didn't need to get you anything big, or wine and dine you on the day, but he should have acknowledged it was your birthday with something, especially as it was your 30th.
Gaeta Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 I think he avoided it on purpose to not send you a signal that this relationship is more serious than it really is. I met my ex boyfriend on August 1st and his birthday was on the 23rd so on our 3rd date I cooked him dinner and made this triple chocolate cake for him. He was blown away. It sent the signal I like you THAT much. So I know you are disappointed but at the same time I think it's a signal you need to acknowledge, you may be into him more than he's into you. 4
katiegrl Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 I think he avoided it on purpose to not send you a signal that this relationship is more serious than it really is. I met my ex boyfriend on August 1st and his birthday was on the 23rd so on our 3rd date I cooked him dinner and made this triple chocolate cake for him. He was blown away. It sent the signal I like you THAT much. So I know you are disappointed but at the same time I think it's a signal you need to acknowledge, you may be into him more than he's into you. ^^Yes, sadly (for the OP)....I think this is true. 3
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