1Jessie86 Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 I was chatting with a guy for over two months via Facebook and text. The chatting went a little long because he had to leave town for work. We finally met yesterday for the first time in person and he's great. He's leaving town for work again tomorrow for another month. Would it be too soon to invite him over to watch movies and hang out? We're both adults looking for a serious relationship. Thoughts?
Lansing Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 Depends if you actually want to watch movies... or "watch movies".... Your choice but if you want something serious then I would suggest a date outside of your place for now. You guys can keep e-mailing/contact each other while he is gone and then resume things when he is back if you are both interested still. If you didn't say the "serious" relationship thing I would have said "sure, if you just want to have some fun"..
Author 1Jessie86 Posted June 22, 2015 Author Posted June 22, 2015 Depends if you actually want to watch movies... or "watch movies".... Your choice but if you want something serious then I would suggest a date outside of your place for now. You guys can keep e-mailing/contact each other while he is gone and then resume things when he is back if you are both interested still. If you didn't say the "serious" relationship thing I would have said "sure, if you just want to have some fun".. Nothing like that is going to happen. It's that time of month.
Gaeta Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 Don't. You are sending the message it's ok for him to not invite you out on real dates. Also I would not trust a man that has been gone 2 months, then meets me once and has to go away for another month. You need to know more about this man before you take your walls down. 3
BluEyeL Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 No, do not invite him over, it is too early. Even if it's "that time" it's not appropriate for a second date no matter the circumstances. Make a public date. 1
Gary S Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 It would be better if you waited for him to ask you out, you avoid rejection if he's the one sticking his neck out.
Author 1Jessie86 Posted June 22, 2015 Author Posted June 22, 2015 Forgot to mention we are going out to eat tonight.
Gaeta Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 Forgot to mention we are going out to eat tonight. Then go for a long walk after, that's romantic or head to an ice-cream place for desert or go to a water-front park and sit on grass in front of water. The best thing about this is that you will be spending real time concentrating on each other and interacting with each other. 1
Lansing Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 If you don't want anything physical to happen then keep it public. Heck, if you have limited time while he is still around I wouldn't waste it watching a movie but that is just me. 1
fitnessfan365 Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 (edited) "Watching a movie" is pretty much code for "let's have sex". So if you're not ready yet, I wouldn't do it. Also, inviting a guy over and then saying "it's that time of the month" (even if it's true) makes you come off like a major tease. So my advice would be to just keep dates in public for now. Plus, if he is leaving for another month, why waste your one chance to see each other in front of the TV? I personally like to wait at least a month before inviting a woman over. It gives me a chance to focus on getting to know her, and I show with my actions by planning public dates that I'm not just looking to get laid. Edited June 22, 2015 by fitnessfan365 4
losangelena Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 In my world, "come to my house and watch a movie" is universal code for, "come over and have sex." If you're both looking for a serious relationship, I would wait until he gets back before you invite him over for a "movie." Yes, I know you're on your period, but still, it's very easy to convey that message with an offer like that. 1
losangelena Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 "Watching a movie" is pretty much code for "let's have sex". So if you're not ready yet, I wouldn't do it. Also, inviting a guy over and then saying "it's that time of the month" (even if it's true) makes you come off like a major tease. So my advice would be to just keep dates in public for now. Plus, if he is leaving for another month, why waste your one chance to see each other in front of the TV? I personally like to wait at least a month before inviting a woman over. It gives me a chance to focus on getting to know her, and I show with my actions by planning public dates that I'm not just looking to get laid. Jinx. We posted simultaneously.
Gaeta Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 Inviting a man over for a second meet, then things get heat up and you have to reject him with sorry it's that time of the month, only says that you would have been ok with having sex if not for the period. If you are looking for a relationship and not just some fun, let him treat you like a lady and take you out. 1
fitnessfan365 Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 (edited) Jinx. We posted simultaneously. Haha.. I beat you to the punch 7 mins earlier. Inviting a man over for a second meet, then things get heat up and you have to reject him with sorry it's that time of the month, only says that you would have been ok with having sex if not for the period. If you are looking for a relationship and not just some fun, let him treat you like a lady and take you out. This is a good post. But I also want to stress that inviting a guy over and then saying that you're on your period is the worst move you can make. While it's true with you, there are some women who love to play that card because they're not ready yet. But these are the same women who suggest a night in at their place. So my advice, suggest something fun you've been wanting to try out. That way sex isn't even a factor, and he doesn't end up feeling frustrated with blue balls. This is one area that I feel more women need to take into consideration. A lot of guys are fine with waiting. It's just that they hate being teased. So if you communicate honestly and tell a guy flat out you're not ready yet and suggest dates out, then you're not leading him on. But saying you want to "watch a movie" and say that you're on "your period" is just a bad way to go. Edited June 22, 2015 by fitnessfan365 3
losangelena Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 This is a good post. But I also want to stress that "I'm on my period" comes off like the biggest cop out/tease there is. If two people are already having sex, then it's OK for a woman to give the guy a heads up. But if sex isn't in the picture yet, just keep the time of the month to yourself and suggest something fun out. By taking sex out of the equation, a guy will never be left feeling teased or frustrated. However, if you invite a guy over and then say that you're on your period, he gets blue balls and you come off like a huge tease. Especially when some women love to use the period excuse as a way of avoiding sex when they're not ready. But why these same women suggest a night in at their place is beyond me..LOL And I'll add, "I'm on my period" doesn't deter every man.
fitnessfan365 Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 And I'll add, "I'm on my period" doesn't deter every man. Haha.. It is for me. Years ago, I planted a "red flag" and my sheets looked like a CSI crime scene after. Haven't had any desire to do it again since. But you know what they say. A great woman will suggest the backdoor as a workaround.
Gary S Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 If a woman told me it was that time of the month after knowing her for only one day, I think I'd fall outta my chair! I mean really?! Seriously?!
JJCaliGirl Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 I may just be speaking for myself, but after 20 years with my monthly friend, I have no shame in discussing when I'm out of commission for a few days. No, I probably won't mention it on date 2, but if things were getting heated, I would so he's not shocked.
toml Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 Its interesting to see that women will invite a guy back to theirs so soon if they like the guy. I wonder what would happen if another guy she was dating and not really into asked her after the second date back to his. She would be shocked and mad at the poor fellow!
Redhead14 Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 I was chatting with a guy for over two months via Facebook and text. The chatting went a little long because he had to leave town for work. We finally met yesterday for the first time in person and he's great. He's leaving town for work again tomorrow for another month. Would it be too soon to invite him over to watch movies and hang out? We're both adults looking for a serious relationship. Thoughts? Yes, it is too soon. He's still virtually a stranger. And, just because he says he's looking for serious relationship, doesn't mean he really is. You need to let him date you properly for a bit to at least demonstrate that's really what he wants -- initiates dates on a regular basis, keeps in good communication, doesn't schedule last minute dates habitually or cancel last minute habitually, etc. This guy is going away, see if he keeps in contact with you while he is away. That will be a good sign at least. Sometimes guys will say they are looking for what you're looking for until they get what they want and then bail. 1
MonorailCat Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 Had that "time of the month" thing with a girl two weeks ago on our second date. Heavy makeout in the bed for about 30 min and then she told me. Luckily she showed some some of her other bedroom related skills. Otherwise I would have been quite disappointed. A little bit of teasing is ok, but pulling the plug completely after heavy makeout in bed would be just cruel and a red flag.
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