enchanted771 Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 I am interested in this shy guy. We have been talking nonstop, etc. Can anyone give me any insight as to what it is like dating one? seems to me that they don't initiate(take the lead) on a lot of things in the beginning at least..
Gary S Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 Sounds like you will have to do more of the work up front and risk lots of rejection... I would not recommend it.
BluEyeL Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 I've been dating a shy guy for one year now and yes, I did have to initiate some things, but it's been awesome. You have to give lots of encouragement. If they know they'll not be rejected, they'll pursue, but you have to take the lead more than with the other type. 1
S_A Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 I'd wager that once he is comfortable that he'd take the lead more. Shy people are often shy in the beginning... when they first meet people. The shyness will wither away the more he is with you IMO. The thing is... If you take him to parties or gatherings, he'd probably be very reserved if he does not know anyone there. He'd come off as an introvert with others etc, which can be a drag. I'm not shy myself but I am good at spotting them at parties/gatherings and I usually end up focusing on them because I am very good at making shy people feel comfortable and getting them to come out of their shell. So I know a thing or two.
smackie9 Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 It's a pain in the ass....so frustrating. It wears on ya, and can turn to resentment. It can be like hold a child's hand all the time. 1
BluEyeL Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 Common, it's only a little tricky in the beginning. Not gonna lie, it can give you doubts initially. But once they get comfortable it's like with any other guy. It worked for me. Now when my BF is being a brat, I make fun of him and remind him how shy he was in the beginning, and look at him now
Keenly Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 I've been dating a shy guy for one year now and yes, I did have to initiate some things, but it's been awesome. You have to give lots of encouragement. If they know they'll not be rejected, they'll pursue, but you have to take the lead more than with the other type. This. 10char
Author enchanted771 Posted June 22, 2015 Author Posted June 22, 2015 I'd wager that once he is comfortable that he'd take the lead more. Shy people are often shy in the beginning... when they first meet people. The shyness will wither away the more he is with you IMO. The thing is... If you take him to parties or gatherings, he'd probably be very reserved if he does not know anyone there. He'd come off as an introvert with others etc, which can be a drag. I'm not shy myself but I am good at spotting them at parties/gatherings and I usually end up focusing on them because I am very good at making shy people feel comfortable and getting them to come out of their shell. So I know a thing or two. thanks! I'm actually shy myself. I don't like large gatherings. Men have told me I look scared.
loverboy69 Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 Common, it's only a little tricky in the beginning. Not gonna lie, it can give you doubts initially. But once they get comfortable it's like with any other guy. It worked for me. Now when my BF is being a brat, I make fun of him and remind him how shy he was in the beginning, and look at him now Yeah mine couldn't even look me in the eye before we started dating. The few times he had the guts to make small moves on me it sounded rehearsed but in the wrong order and very awkward. He'd pace past my office on the days he was feeling brave and would mumble comments to me as he passed my door but wouldn't actually come in. Or when he'd pass me in the hallway he'd wait till he was 10 steps past me then would say "what's up?" It was very funny yet cute at the same time. When I started putting two and two together I developed feelings for him. Still I used to get my feelings hurt in the beginning because he'd be funny, loud and outgoing with everyone in the room but me. If I was talking to a mutual friend sometimes he'd come up, high five our friend and start talking to him pretending I didn't exist. He confused the hell out of me and put me through an emotional roller coaster until I decided to take control. Now that we're together he won't shut up. He's also so much more aggressive which is a total 360 from the shy passive guy he was before we started dating. I wouldn't trade him for the world. 1
Author enchanted771 Posted June 22, 2015 Author Posted June 22, 2015 Yeah mine couldn't even look me in the eye before we started dating. The few times he had the guts to make small moves on me it sounded rehearsed but in the wrong order and very awkward. He'd pace past my office on the days he was feeling brave and would mumble comments to me as he passed my door but wouldn't actually come in. Or when he'd pass me in the hallway he'd wait till he was 10 steps past me then would say "what's up?" It was very funny yet cute at the same time. When I started putting two and two together I developed feelings for him. Still I used to get my feelings hurt in the beginning because he'd be funny, loud and outgoing with everyone in the room but me. If I was talking to a mutual friend sometimes he'd come up, high five our friend and start talking to him pretending I didn't exist. He confused the hell out of me and put me through an emotional roller coaster until I decided to take control. Now that we're together he won't shut up. He's also so much more aggressive which is a total 360 from the shy passive guy he was before we started dating. I wouldn't trade him for the world. How did you take control? This is hard for me to do, but I'm going to bite the bullet. He wouldn't even call me! I gave him my # and told him to call. He told me he was sick which I sensed was just him being nervous not a jerk. Then 2 days later told me if I want to hear his voice I can call whenever I want, because he's shy. I just like to make sure he's shy and it's not just another guy stringing me along. After our 2.5 hour phone convo last night, I know that isn't the case. I just wish he would initiate more convos instead of waiting for me.
smackie9 Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 How did you take control? This is hard for me to do, but I'm going to bite the bullet. He wouldn't even call me! I gave him my # and told him to call. He told me he was sick which I sensed was just him being nervous not a jerk. Then 2 days later told me if I want to hear his voice I can call whenever I want, because he's shy. I just like to make sure he's shy and it's not just another guy stringing me along. After our 2.5 hour phone convo last night, I know that isn't the case. I just wish he would initiate more convos instead of waiting for me. Hah this is what you get...it is what it is. There are some examples that they can be trained, but it's few and far between.
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