Zerdux Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 Hello everyone out there, I recently broke up with my girlfriend a few days ago and feel quite sad at the moment.I am 20 and she is 22 and was about to turn 23 in a months time.We were in a relationship for a year and a few months.There were ups and downs in our relationship several times.The reason she said she didn't feel happy any more is because she said she didn't feel appreciated by me for the things she does. Say things like cooking dinner for us when I was over at hers or driving me somewhere sometimes where I would need,but I would do the same.The difference is I wouldn't care like getting money for petrol from her or for food that we are having,because you just don't count these kind of things especially for the person you love(In my opinion).I would always go over to hers when she was feeling down,to comfort her ,speak about the things that are worrying her etc. (she had a mild depression).Another thing is that she would get so mad and cause arguments over very small things e.g last week she was taking me down to the barber's and I wasn't 100% sure where it was so on one junction I asked her to turn left,but it was a one way traffic,so she turned around and we drove a little bit further down the street and she got so mad,she told me to get out of the car and go myself.I just feel like she was a bit of materialistic and impatient,low tempered. I just feel quite sad right now because I remember the good times we had together and the happy moments we shared together and to break up over little things like that I think is just stupid.I also went over to her home last month to meet her family,and everything was very good.Her parents were lovely,they really liked me and I also liked them,everything seemed to be just fine.I just feel like right now there was no point to go and meet them if this was going to happen. I'd just like to get some advice if someone has been in this kind of similar situation.How I should try and move on,try to get myself together and make my future life priority. P.S She said she still cares about me and wants to stay friends.I feel like she will want to get back together,but I feel like I will be past that point,and that I will have moved on. Any sensible advice is welcome,thanks.
coryreply Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 I'm sorry you're going through this, OP. Breakups are not the easiest things in the world to deal with emotionally. It sounds like your ex-girlfriend's love language could be "Words of Affirmation." This one can be really hard for guys to get, because most of us tend not to be very verbal with our observations. We don't think about the significance of throwing out compliments and thank you's for every little thing. If a girl thrives on hearing you say those things, they take your lack of words to mean that you don't care about them or that you don't appreciate the nice things they do for you. If you guys get back together, exploring this further would be a good idea. You need to be aware of what she needs to feel loved by you. It could be a combination of several things that she needs to continually see or hear from you. Where do you see things going from here? Do you think she is worth fighting for? Or are you definitely ready to be done and move on?
Author Zerdux Posted June 26, 2015 Author Posted June 26, 2015 Thank for a great reply.We are going to meet in a few days to talk about things.I do love her and wish we can sort everything out,but I need to see from her side that she also will be willing to do this,otherwise if it will only be initiative from my side,I'll have to move on and won't be turning back.Another thing is that we don't see each other that much now during the summer,because I moved to work 40 miles away from where she lives to work over the summer.Do you think the distance will make her miss me more and think about everything with more thought?Thanks.
Thistooshallpass21 Posted June 27, 2015 Posted June 27, 2015 Not to give any false hope or anything but I honestly believe that you are good man and 40 miles is nothing especially if you love someone. You got this have somewhat of an idea of the things you would like to say to her and what you would like to work on. Also this is HUGE make sure you guys actually work on the areas of concern! My ex and I broke up once before the second time for a day we found things we wanted to work on (mainly just communication as she wouldn't tell me when very little things were bothering her in the relationship), but she did not stick to her word. We broke up the second time on issues that were in fact fixable because she never told me until it was too late.
Author Zerdux Posted June 30, 2015 Author Posted June 30, 2015 Have you met up with her yet? How did it go? Hi you can find the newest uodates about this on this thread http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/535412-what-expect
Recommended Posts