wow Posted April 29, 2005 Posted April 29, 2005 the ex has called but as NC goes i ignored and laughed. BUT i did send an sms hours later stating i would call her later, but i did not. {MEAN ME} There has been no contact for a month because of me! She broke up with me. So i was talking to our mutual friend {more the x's} laughing and enjoying the conversation. I stated that i needed to go then she told me that the X would like to talk to me. I said no but she was already on the line asking why i have not called and how was my holiday. I was so off and made it seem as if i had to go. She hung up and that was it. I felt good because I did not need to focus on her at all and did not care. I am done with that girl so she better get the idea. but i still have feelings for her. BUT I AM NOT A SWITCH
Aguardiente83 Posted April 29, 2005 Posted April 29, 2005 Its my opinion that when most girls leave you there under the misunderstanding that the man that they dumped will never get over them. They think that we'll stick around while they go out and date and have fun and as they please. Once they see that there plan backfired (that we picked up our balls and decided to move on) then they get worried and start thinking about what they're losing. That's why they long for contact, even though they broke up with you they still want to hear that you miss them and that you want to be with them. I think your doing the right thing by not contacting her and acting like your busy. Next time she calls ask what she wants from you, if she says she wants to maintain a friendship tell her that you don't have the time to be "just friends", that if she wants to talk about trying to work things out you might be more available, but that for now you need your time for yourself so you can meet other women that want to be more than just friends. The best thing I ever said to my ex when she asked me if I missed was, "I don't have time to miss you, i try to keep myself occupied by going out with friends, school work, working out, among other things that I don't leave myself time to think about what we were" then she would ask where all my feelings went and I told her "For the first time I've realized that I can be happy by myself, that I don't need anyone to make me happy, but if a person can add to my already complete life then that would be great because I now have something to offer them" .......... Its kind of like a car, your the car, your work perfectly, your run with no problems, your partner is the twenty inch rims, the new paint jopb, and the tv's in the back seat, you don't need them to funtction, but they're nice to have and add to what you already have. I hope this helps.
Marshbear Posted April 29, 2005 Posted April 29, 2005 Its my opinion that when most girls leave you there under the misunderstanding that the man that they dumped will never get over them. They think that we'll stick around while they go out and date and have fun and as they please. Once they see that there plan backfired (that we picked up our balls and decided to move on) then they get worried and start thinking about what they're losing. That's why they long for contact, even though they broke up with you they still want to hear that you miss them and that you want to be with them. I agree completely. They want to think your life is miserable with out them and that you just can't function. The contact is for them not for you. It is an ego trip for them. "Oh, he misses me and wants me back". Even if they don't want to come back they still want to think they can if they want to.
Author wow Posted April 29, 2005 Author Posted April 29, 2005 Both of you have hit the nail on the head! this post should become a sticky, it will help alot of people!
Aguardiente83 Posted April 29, 2005 Posted April 29, 2005 Not only that, but if you contact them deep down inside they're likeing it and eating it up, but if they're with someone else they complain to that guy... "Oh my god why doesn't my ex just leave me alone, the poor thing is still on my ass", but the moment we stop, thats when the tables turn. Stick to no contact and don't give her any more than 5 minutes when she calls unless she mentions something about talking about fixing things between the both of yous and at that point you just have to take things slow and act like you don't need to be with her but it would be ok if you were. Even better, don't act like you don't need to be with her, actually get into the midset that you don't.
Aguardiente83 Posted April 30, 2005 Posted April 30, 2005 I just thought I'd bumb this thread to the top of the forum, its a good read
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