Too Good Looking?

June 22, 2015

I wonder if your dating opportunities might be a bit better for men who are average looking (not ugly, but average), in comparison to very good looking men.

My experience is that women are more comfortable and relaxed around guys who are average looking or just a bit above average.

The better looking you are, the higher the possibility of her getting nervous, not trusting herself, feeling "not good enough," or otherwise not being able to relax enough to enjoy her time with you.

Fortunately, I now have 10 lbs to lose so perhaps women feel more comfortable with me.

Women, do you have experiences with this?

June 22, 2015

Well, as Dr. Phil would say.... "How's that working for you"?!

June 22, 2015

As a man I'd say not really a threat...sure some might doubt themselves and feel not "good enough" but they'd still come after you without a problem.

Pursuinga woman however, definitely a problem..it's hard enough for a guy to impress an average woman, let alone one that is much more beautiful than the others.

All women need to have is acceptance or a green light from the man which is easiest enough to come by, for a man going after a very attractive woman, it takes a lot more to get there...if you can even get your foot in the door.

It takes skill to get with very attractive women, not so much with very attractive men.

June 22, 2015

It's more likely that she is turned off by his cocky attitude than feeling like she isn't deserving of his attention.

June 22, 2015

Lol as someone that has two extremely good looking friends i would say that you are totally 100% wrong.

Both of my friends could literally get any girl they want. They always have 2-3 girls texting them. One of them dated a cheerleader of a mlb baseball team and one of them is dating a millionaire who buys him anything.

I personally saw one of them approach 20 girls and not once did they get rejected. The one time girl said that she had a bf after he asked "do you have a bf" ...he said too bad and started walking away and she said wait wait do you still want my phone number? and he STILL got her phone number.

SO NO I would say being great looking is a great thing.

June 22, 2015

Lol as someone that has two extremely good looking friends i would say that you are totally 100% wrong.

Both of my friends could literally get any girl they want. They always have 2-3 girls texting them. One of them dated a cheerleader of a mlb baseball team and one of them is dating a millionaire who buys him anything.

I personally saw one of them approach 20 girls and not once did they get rejected. The one time girl said that she had a bf after he asked "do you have a bf" ...he said too bad and started walking away and she said wait wait do you still want my phone number? and he STILL got her phone number.

SO NO I would say being great looking is a great thing.

I am sorry to say that you are the one who is 100% totally wrong.

It is not possible to draw inferences about all very good looking men from the experiences of 2 of your friends. Try taking an elementary statistics course, or, failing that, just use some common sense.

I have had women offer to pay for very expensive items, but that's not what I am looking for.

Also, I can easily get many numbers in an afternoon, evening or whatever, but sometimes, girls get offended if they see you getting other girl's numbers, or making out with other girls. Practically speaking, I can't always remember enough about the girls if I get a lot of numbers in any given night.

June 22, 2015

I used to listen in sometimes on the post party/club chat of my sisters and their friends. It was weird when one of them managed to hookup with with one of the sort after hot guys. These were the guys they wanted to beat other girls out to snag but when they got them they were never really happy (as per your OP). It somewhat freaked them out and they could not relax and enjoy the relationship/fling. They were too apprehensive, suddenly jealous of any interaction he had with other girls, felt really insecure, and that they were not good enough for the guy or to be able to keep him interested. They would thrash out and over analyze many conversations/interactions they had with him. In the end they would end up in had LTRs with average/slightly above avg guys, but the good looking guys got to have ONS/FWB/flings with them which many a guy wont consider a poor consolation prize.

Still as regards your preposition that average guys have it better because of this issue, I disagree. Those guys they hooked up with just go on and hookup with or date many more girls along the way. They can have fun with the average girls and find someone more gorgeous for a relationship who wont be so intimated by them. Also to try keep them, many girls will bend over backwards & forwards to please them. Being a very good looking man in these times is a blessing and no way a burden.

June 22, 2015

I have had women offer to pay for very expensive items, but that's not what I am looking for.

Also, I can easily get many numbers in an afternoon, evening or whatever, but sometimes, girls get offended if they see you getting other girl's numbers, or making out with other girls. Practically speaking, I can't always remember enough about the girls if I get a lot of numbers in any given night.

Your looks aren't the issue.

None of these women are taking you seriously.

June 22, 2015

Why Girls Love The Dad Bod | The Odyssey

June 22, 2015

Why Girls Love The Dad Bod | The Odyssey

My observations of this aspect of dating/attraction is its not 'girls' who love the dad bod, but women in their 30s especially those who are just starting to get a little chubby and who want a solid build masculine guy but not too well built that he will put pressure on her to maintain a trim figure (confirmed by a couple of them too)

June 22, 2015

I think people tend to go for what they have to offer. If I put so much effort in maintaining my look and body than I'd like someone that puts the same amount of effort into his.

June 22, 2015

Can't comment on guys who are 'too good looking' (never met any of those...); that said, it could be easier for handsome guys to get the girls - however, keeping them is a whole different story.

Edited June 22, 2015 by PrettyEmily77

June 22, 2015

My observations of this aspect of dating/attraction is its not 'girls' who love the dad bod, but women in their 30s especially those who are just starting to get a little chubby and who want a solid build masculine guy but not too well built that he will put pressure on her to maintain a trim figure (confirmed by a couple of them too)

Mackenzie Pearson who wrote the article is 19.

I guess it is personal preference, but I do get her

" It doesn't intimidate us."

and

"We like being the pretty one."

and

"Better cuddling"

Obesity no, but "dad bod" OK.

June 22, 2015

Lol as someone that has two extremely good looking friends i would say that you are totally 100% wrong.

Both of my friends could literally get any girl they want. They always have 2-3 girls texting them. One of them dated a cheerleader of a mlb baseball team and one of them is dating a millionaire who buys him anything.

I personally saw one of them approach 20 girls and not once did they get rejected. The one time girl said that she had a bf after he asked "do you have a bf" ...he said too bad and started walking away and she said wait wait do you still want my phone number? and he STILL got her phone number.

SO NO I would say being great looking is a great thing.

So can I assume as long as you are good looking you will have heaps girls. and same for girls.

and if you don't have heaps of girls/guys, that means you are not good looking?

June 22, 2015

as a reasonably good looking chick, I can tell you that it's all a matter of self confidence as to whom approaches you and also how they position themselves in front of you.

it's interesting. I guess it is true that I get approached more, but it's doesn't necessarily make it easier - some men get weird, others get intimidated, others keep expecting high emotions all the time.

But the equation doesn't change that much - most good looking dudes approaching me on OLD will maybe change their approach, as in be less direct, but in the end, those looking for hook ups will still want hook ups. I'd say looks in themselves are not a game changer. Pretty women don't necessarily have it easier - except perhaps being noticed and eventually served first, at the bar, compared to a regular dude.

Good looks are hard to "wear" only if one has a fragile self esteem, because one does get more attention - and men looking for easy prey notice when pretty chicks are not at their ease. Like anything, double edge sword. People with an average intelligence learn the hang of it, eventually.

Of course, there are those exceptionally good looking people or women who want / like / seek to be noticed by the way they dress / act / behave. But the question is always the same: seen by whom / at what purpose. Vanity is a horrid b*tch and it consistently bites people in the arse. Consistently. Me thinks people who try to use look as a tangible advantage usually lose the game. Also... maybe I'm wrong as I'm judging. Personally I find it hard to consider a real differentiating added value, as there will always be other younger prettier women around. Ain't need for variety a bloody killer, hahaha !

June 22, 2015

I wonder if your dating opportunities might be a bit better for men who are average looking (not ugly, but average), in comparison to very good looking men.

My experience is that women are more comfortable and relaxed around guys who are average looking or just a bit above average.

The better looking you are, the higher the possibility of her getting nervous, not trusting herself, feeling "not good enough," or otherwise not being able to relax enough to enjoy her time with you.

Fortunately, I now have 10 lbs to lose so perhaps women feel more comfortable with me.

Women, do you have experiences with this?

I've been told that the less attractive/average guy will feel lucky to have a nice looking woman and make her the center of his attention, compared to a good looking guy, who knows he has options and brings insecurity issues as someone mentioned.

June 22, 2015

Mackenzie Pearson who wrote the article is 19.

I guess it is personal preference, but I do get her
" It doesn't intimidate us."
and
"We like being the pretty one."
and
"Better cuddling"

Obesity no, but "dad bod" OK.

and fit, toned bod = YES

June 22, 2015

I used to listen in sometimes on the post party/club chat of my sisters and their friends. It was weird when one of them managed to hookup with with one of the sort after hot guys. These were the guys they wanted to beat other girls out to snag but when they got them they were never really happy (as per your OP). It somewhat freaked them out and they could not relax and enjoy the relationship/fling. They were too apprehensive, suddenly jealous of any interaction he had with other girls, felt really insecure, and that they were not good enough for the guy or to be able to keep him interested. They would thrash out and over analyze many conversations/interactions they had with him. In the end they would end up in had LTRs with average/slightly above avg guys, but the good looking guys got to have ONS/FWB/flings with them which many a guy wont consider a poor consolation prize.

Still as regards your preposition that average guys have it better because of this issue, I disagree. Those guys they hooked up with just go on and hookup with or date many more girls along the way. They can have fun with the average girls and find someone more gorgeous for a relationship who wont be so intimated by them. Also to try keep them, many girls will bend over backwards & forwards to please them. Being a very good looking man in these times is a blessing and no way a burden.

I recently got a girl's number a couple of weekends ago, and then afterwards, she saw me talking to another girl, which she obviously noticed. When I said goodbye to her later, she seemed a bit sad and upset by that. She didn't reply to a couple of texts I sent.

I saw her again just the other day, assuming she did not want to go out, but she kept staring at me repeatedly. So, I walk over and say hi, and she invited me out for an event this upcoming weekend.

So, like you say, jealousy can be a bit of a factor.

June 22, 2015

I had a boyfriend who was extremely good looking. Very very nice body, tall, beautiful face, worked out 5 days a week 2 hours a day. I consider myself plain with a decent body. He never cheated on me or anything but I always thought he was, and I couldn't take it anymore. The relationship completely unraveled.

June 22, 2015

I had a boyfriend who was extremely good looking. Very very nice body, tall, beautiful face, worked out 5 days a week 2 hours a day. I consider myself plain with a decent body. He never cheated on me or anything but I always thought he was, and I couldn't take it anymore. The relationship completely unraveled.

Wow, sorry to hear that but it seems to confirm the theory/reality many of us have been referencing in this thread.

So, you weren't reluctant to date him starting out? Did it take a while before you agreed to go out with him?

June 22, 2015

I had a boyfriend who was extremely good looking. Very very nice body, tall, beautiful face, worked out 5 days a week 2 hours a day. I consider myself plain with a decent body. He never cheated on me or anything but I always thought he was, and I couldn't take it anymore. The relationship completely unraveled.

exactly. had a bf of 6 months, we were in a nice long weekend in Spain and were hanging out in a bar, listening to some music. All of a sudden, my at-the time-bf's face turns blue and he starts attacking me, we end up having a fight and we go back to the hotel with our night ruined. He later told me that there was a guy checking me out, at the bar and he thought he saw me looking at him. I have no idea what or whom he was talking about.

dating attractive people brings out all the self confidence issues. No partner can ever fix that, might as well stay alone than with a partner driving you crazy (with or without reason).

June 22, 2015

I wonder if your dating opportunities might be a bit better for men who are average looking (not ugly, but average), in comparison to very good looking men.

My experience is that women are more comfortable and relaxed around guys who are average looking or just a bit above average.

The better looking you are, the higher the possibility of her getting nervous, not trusting herself, feeling "not good enough," or otherwise not being able to relax enough to enjoy her time with you.

Fortunately, I now have 10 lbs to lose so perhaps women feel more comfortable with me.

Women, do you have experiences with this?

The theory is a joke for both genders.

If you are hot, you WILL get approached. If one average man/woman is too shy/unconfident to approach, another will. And then all of the hot people will hit on you too.

I knew these brothers from college and they looked like Johnny Depp and what his brother would look like. Girls used to follow them down the street, pull their car in front of their parking spots, offer sexual favors to them when they barely knew them, etc. One of the guys had a 16 year old girl follow him down the street for 8 blocks, and when he went into a store, she propositioned him. We watched the whole thing.

No average guy gets that.

Edited June 22, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember

June 22, 2015

The theory is a joke for both genders.

If you are hot, you WILL get approached. If one average man/woman is too shy/unconfident to approach, another will. And then all of the hot people will hit on you too.

I knew these brothers from college and they looked like Johnny Depp and what his brother would look like. Girls used to follow them down the street, pull their car in front of their parking spots, offer sexual favors to them when they barely knew them, etc. One of the guys had a 16 year old girl follow him down the street for 8 blocks, and when he went into a store, she propositioned him. We watched the whole thing.

No average guy gets that.

I get all of this and then some. But there are a certain percentage of women who freeze up, can't handle it, etc.

I'm talking about dating in longer term relationships, not instant attraction.

June 22, 2015

I'm also reasonably attractive. Having dated very good looking and objectively average (but not to me) guys, I can say that the good looking guys fall into two categories, the ones who need constant validation and love all their options (hound dogs) and the ones who don't care and have no ego (maybe because they could always get women and have nothing to prove.)

My ex husband was ridiculously handsome and couldn't have cared less about the women drooling over him. He was oblivious to it. He thought I was very beautiful (Aww!) and when men looked at me, he didn't care. He was confident. Ditto most of the good looking guys I dated. A few had big egos, and were hound dogs, but that is an ego problem.

Another ex who was (according to others) average to below average had an ego problem, too. He was extremely jealous and always accused me of cheating. He was actually the cheater! Since he felt inadequate and had difficulty in the past getting women, he needed constant female attention. He also told me later he knew I would have left him for one of the handsome guys who were always staring at me (yeah, right.)

Other average guys I dated were confident and very appreciative of me. So I would say that you guys don't need to be with a woman who would chase down a good looking guy to proposition him. Those women are like the men who objectify pretty women and don't really want to get to know them beyond looks.

Beauty is subjective. I say be confident in the fact that there is something g uniquely good looking about you. Develop your personality and manners. Practice an air of you don't give a sh#t about someone who is only into looks or money. You are a deeper person. And don't judge people based on their looks alone either.

You will be supremely attractive to the right person ��

Edited June 22, 2015 by blueskyday

June 22, 2015

Awesome message, bluesky.

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Too Good Looking?

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