xpaperxcutx Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 I broke up with my boyfriend in text. We have way too many issues- lack of communication, and differents needs and wants from the relationship. I liked him and I really gave him the chance, but he complains that he is unhappy with me and the relationship. We are not openly dating due to a policy against dating in the program that we are in. At the beginning, I made it very clear that we have to keep things a secret until after the program. He understood that, but then he complains that I do not do alot of PDA with him. I don't think a relationship is simply about physical or PDA. I strongly believe in communication and understand of one another. Which was another thing that he couldn't grasp. He has a terrible way of communicating with me, which literally meant he didn't communicate at all. In the beginning, it was fine because he had his cellphone stolen. We would go a whole week without speaking and only see each other once a week. However, since he got his phone back again, his form of communication has simply been sporadic texts here and there. He told me that he doesn't like to text, but it also seemed like he doesn't like to talk to me at all. And then he jumps right in to accuse me that I ignore him. I have never ignored him. In fact, I had to find out on Saturday, that he had a funeral for an uncle of his, the day of. He never told me that until he decided to call me out of the blue. And then there was the fact that he had went out to a birthday party this past friday for a friend. He never told me where he was going or what he was doing until I invited him out to go karaoke with me and a few friends. He had plans but never bothered to tell me or invite me. I called him out on his lack of communication, but he just turned it around on me saying I am an extremely cold person because I refuse to acknowledge his feelings for me. He said I needed to go to the doctor to get my feelings checked. I felt like i was being attacked and in a moment, I just wrote we should just break up. He doesn't seem happy with me. I always tried to be there for him. Even when he was feeling depressed, I tried my best to cheer him up. He doesn't work at this relationship or see that I have alot to deal with, but all that I need was clearer communications from him . I gave him so many chances, even when I shouldn't have. I feel bad that I hurt his feelings by breaking up with him, but my needs are clearly not being met. Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 I broke up with my boyfriend in text... I strongly believe in communication ... He has a terrible way of communicating with me, which literally meant he didn't communicate at all. ... I felt like i was being attacked and in a moment, I just wrote we should just break up. I feel bad that I hurt his feelings by breaking up with him, but my needs are clearly not being met.For someone who values communication, it sure sounds like you picked a ****ty way to break up, whether or not he deserved it. Hurt feelings are pretty much a given in a breakup, so don't worry about that too much. Link to post Share on other sites
travelbug1996 Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 Doesn't sound like he was all that invested in the relationship anyway. If anything, his ago will be hurt but he'll get over it. Never be with a man that can go days without checking on you. Words to live by: Be with a man that puts you first. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 I broke up with my boyfriend in text. We have way too many issues- lack of communication... You don't say... Anyway, separate from that, if it wasn't working for you, it's probably good and sensible that you moved on. Good luck on your next steps. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xpaperxcutx Posted June 22, 2015 Author Share Posted June 22, 2015 For someone who values communication, it sure sounds like you picked a ****ty way to break up, whether or not he deserved it. Hurt feelings are pretty much a given in a breakup, so don't worry about that too much. It was 1AM in the morning. I text messaged in clear, concise sentences to discuss why we have a hard time communicating, with most of it on his part. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 It was 1AM in the morning. I text messaged in clear, concise sentences to discuss why we have a hard time communicating, with most of it on his part. I think in the big picture of your relationship as you describe it, it was probably best to break up with him, and you may not be able to see it in a humorous way at this point, but do you see some irony in the idea that you would use clearly worded text messaging to discuss difficulties in communication in your relationship? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
erklat Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 Words to live by: Be with a man that puts you first. Uhm, no? Every female I met says this but when you get this you get gigs down the line, especially early and mid twenties. You doing you and he doing him comes first . Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 It was 1AM in the morning. I text messaged in clear, concise sentences to discuss why we have a hard time communicating, with most of it on his part. Unless he was in bed next to you, I'm sure it could have waited. Long story short, it doesn't seem like a big deal either way, and you seem pretty convinced you did the right thing. My takeaway from all of this is at least he'll have something concrete to refer back to when he wonders "WHY?" Link to post Share on other sites
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