HansonGirl Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 About a year ago, I liked a guy Jake, but we were just friends. I did like him though, and it was a bad time in my life. I thought he was a great guy and meeting him gave me hope that there were decent people out there. So before I moved away (so in other words, nothing would ever become of anything with Jake), I wrote him a nice goodbye note. He messaged me thanking me and was real nice about it, but I didn't get the impression that he was "interested" and it didn't matter anyways. But he would "like" everything i posted online and stuff. We interacted a few times in the year afterwards, occasionally, and I told him about my family. I considered him a friend. So after about a year I contacted him and a bunch of other people I knew when I was going to visit town again for a week. He responded right away and said he wanted to see me. but when the time came he never showed up. I contacted him and he didn't respond. He said he'd come to another thing and he also didn't show up to that. I was looking forward to seeing him but it wasn't because I wanted anything romantic to happen. I just at that point considered him a good friend. so at the end of the story, it turns out I got the impression he thought I still liked him. I contacted him and apologized for the misunderstanding and told him i just thought we were closer friends that we actually were. but he never responded and that was the last time i ever heard from him. To this day though i am confused why he would make plans to hang out if the entire time he didn't want to see me because he thought i had romantic intentions. I mean even if i did like him, i would've appreciated if he just like said he was busy or something. But maybe i'm the one who is socially clueless. was I wrong to expect him to want to see me? I live halfway across the country and i was only visiting for a week. it just felt really cruel even though i know he is not a cruel person.
Curious-One Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 It could be multiple things....first i would say that since he stood you up multiple times he is not a good guy because that is stringing you along too many times...he should just have made up an excuse sorry i got so and so that day cant do it or i am really busy at moment now is a bad time etc etc. Having said this i have done simillar things like that to girls i was interested in before. When i text or talk to her i am like hell yah i cant wait to go see her and will say lets do something on xxx day. When that day comes i might not be in good mood, maybe i have a zit on my face or i just dont feel like going out and doing anything and i will make up an excuse and try to switch to another day. But he did it to you 3 times it seems and then he didnt even bother to let you know he is not coming. I say forget about him and move on. If he texts you dont text him back or anything...hes an a hole...and definitely not a friend.
jen1447 Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 Hm, it almost sounds like feelings to me. If he's not the boldest guy, he could have gotten scared at the thought of actually meeting up w/you (w/some expectation that you'd hook up or whatever), or maybe he felt he'd be hurt by seeing you/hooking up and then you leaving again, or maybe he's got a girl and he felt that would be compromised if he saw you. Whatever the case it was still rude/immature to go total no call/no show/no response on you. Maybe he's been advised to go the dreaded NC by someone else due to his feelings.
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