beowulf44 Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 So yeah. She ended our relationship in November. After a weird period in which we still tried seeing each other every other week (it was ****ty), we stopped hanging out altogether in January. For the month of February, we didn't speak at all. Then in March, we started hanging out again, and it was nice. We both enjoyed it alot, and we've been seeing each other more since (though still not "frequently"... but when we do, it is fun, and we usually have sex). For whats its worth, we have both changed alot of the issues that were previously impacting our former relationship. However, we both are kind of reluctant to jump back into relationship because we are just afraid things will go down the same exact path (we both have big big shields up that are just not coming 100% down), but we also acknowledge things can't continue in this "grey area" forever. Has anyone been here before? What ended up happening? Or, if you haven't, what do you guys advise doing?
acapelo_dp Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 Sounds like you guys still care about each other if you are still seeing each other regularly. However, you have to ensure that your ex doesn't just see you as an easy hook up or someone to pass the time with because they haven't found anyone better. Do their actions match their words? This is important. I have been through what you are going through. My ex and I broke up back in February this year due to him being stressed out and lack of communication/needing alone time and him feeling too comfortable in the relationship where he didn't do the things he loved anymore. We would still see each other after the break up once or twice a month to hang out or just have sex. It hurt me pretty badly. Sometimes he was cold and sometimes he would send me "I miss you" texts. I was broken hear-ted, I dated other people and spent time with friends. Tried my best to move on but I never forgot him. About two weeks ago I reached out to him and we went out to dinner and we had a great time. This time was different as he asked to see me again and started planning hang outs with me regularly. After the second or third time we hung out he asked to date me again and I told him that we would have to work on the issue that broke us up and work on communication, keeping our relationship open and honest and keeping dates fun. We agreed to be exclusive and he is now my boyfriend again. The past two weeks have been wonderful and it feels even better than the last time because we know what the problems were and how to improve our relationship this time for the long run. We are taking things slowly for now and seeing where it goes. What you need to do is make your intentions clear. If you want to work things out with him/her you need to let them know. If you DO plan on getting back together you would have to not just jump back where you left off and fix the issues that broke you two up or it will never work again. The key is taking things very slowly and starting from day 1, new relationship. How has the other person changed? Don't let yourself be used for sex or be a second option. Talk to him/her about it but don't scare them off by being too forward. Make your wants clear but leave it up to him/her. Good luck! 1
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