Mondmellonw Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 So yesterday I went to a birthday party of one of my friends. And guess who arrived there? Yuuuuuup, the ex. My heart felt scared. I felt scared. He just basically got near me and said out loud that maybe I was beautiful but that I was a mean person and he would never ever remember me with joy... And that no one would see that I was beautiful because I was horrible inside. I ignored it and immediately asked one of my friends to take me home as I didn't expected him to be there. As I arrived home my friend left and apologized for the whole thing. I felt like... Wait... So now that I'm no longer your doormat I'm a mean person...? Of course he feels that way--- I forgave his insults, his abuse. Of course I have to be mean and horrible now that I no longer want to do anything with him, even tho he was the one to dump me and even when I didn't wanted it to happen (at first).... It was just so ridiculous. I felt like "wait... you're the one who's handsome but very mean". lol If you ask me... I felt scared to see him. I didn't felt the "thing" you feel when you see someone you like or love... I felt scared. Hopefully I won't see him again, but his hate haunts me. Why would he hate me if he was the one who did many bad things and was the one to dump me?
Satu Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 People behave the way they do because of who they are... *No direct contact in either direction. No sending or receiving of messages. No replies. Block any means he might use to contact you. *No indirect contact through third parties. *De-friend or delete from all social media. No monitoring of him on social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. *Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what he is doing or saying. 2
yellowhibiscus Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 I am also dealing with a hateful ex who dumped me. I sometimes think the whole thing would be easier if he told me "you're a good person but I just don't think its going to work out". Instead, I think that to hide any insecurities or to deal with honest feelings, some people turn to anger in order to deal with any confrontation or possible chance to expose their flaws. It's like a defense mechansim to support their ego. Like others have said, it is best to avoid any contact since most interactions will be negative and will make it harder to move on. 1
Author Mondmellonw Posted June 21, 2015 Author Posted June 21, 2015 I am also dealing with a hateful ex who dumped me. I sometimes think the whole thing would be easier if he told me "you're a good person but I just don't think its going to work out". Instead, I think that to hide any insecurities or to deal with honest feelings, some people turn to anger in order to deal with any confrontation or possible chance to expose their flaws. It's like a defense mechansim to support their ego. Like others have said, it is best to avoid any contact since most interactions will be negative and will make it harder to move on. I too guess it's all about ego. I don't really know. Thanks! I'm already in NC...
Satu Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 What you saw was him expressing who he is in his chosen behaviour. It says much about him and nothing about you. 1
foolinlove79 Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 I dont get it either. My ex has treated me pretty bad over the years. And when he bu with me he always acts like ive done something to him and tells people all these bad things about me. Its very strange. I just cut off contact completely and try to not end up in the same places. Best way to deal with it really 1
Author Mondmellonw Posted June 22, 2015 Author Posted June 22, 2015 I dont get it either. My ex has treated me pretty bad over the years. And when he bu with me he always acts like ive done something to him and tells people all these bad things about me. Its very strange. I just cut off contact completely and try to not end up in the same places. Best way to deal with it really I guess like, as Satu said, they treat us just how they know. It's not like we caused it, at all.... I wish you well, and thanks for your reply. 1
HansonGirl Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 I also think he lacks the abiltiy or he is unwilling to look in the mirror and realize the is the one in the wrong. it's projection perhaps. But I know the FEAR you are describing. I feel it too with respect to this guy I might run into soon. (Please see my thread within this forum) And I know I wasn't in the wrong, but I know HIS interpretation of things..... 1
mightycpa Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 Did that comment even require any kind of response? It struck me as pitiful. Boo-hoo! I will never remember you with joy! You are mean and horrible! All you had to do was hand him a box of tissues. That would have said everything you needed to say. 1
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