Got an international perspective yesterday on "American women".

[Krieger]

I know to many men at my work from Europe and South America are Nancy boys, mentally weak, and cry baby's.

[kendahke]

He came back with, "Yeah, I feel sorry for you, man. I've heard

 

so, he has no first hand experience. He's only heard.

 

I don't count that as being a valid observation. Just someone talking out of their a$$.

[elaine567]

Not at the moment, but I'll update you depending on what a large proportion of other men are saying.

 

A large proportion of men????

[impatiently_patient]

On the contrary, the women I know are as a group more intellectual, more introspective, more informed, and prone to deeper analysis...

 

I won't argue with that, just mention I'd love for them to start landing on my profile. Because, right now, they are not.

[Timshel]

I heard that American women are really good with horses and guns, but I don't know if its true or not.

 

Speaking for myself, excellent with horses, not guns. Since I was born and raised a Southern girl, I know my way around a shotgun, pistol and so on. I hate guns but know how to use one.

 

What a bore I am though.

 

Impatiently_Patient, She will walk into to your world when you aren't looking.

Trite, idealistic.....yes. You are articulate and engaging. Off the cuff it seems though you are frustrated, there are no bells clanging a woman off. You have a few intrigued even with your thread.

[PogoStick]

I'm going to answer the OP in 2 posts where I agree and disagree, and they are both correct

 

I disagree. Your experience seems to be from OLD which is not a representative population. In the general population (and perhaps online) I strongly suspect there are MANY women who want to date you. Hundreds of them. However, you are not interested in them because they are not intelligent enough, too fat, too ugly, and your personalities just don't match. Therefore, you're the superficial one!

 

If indeed, almost NO women want to date you, then on an attractiveness scale of 1 to 10, you rank in the neighborhood of "down's syndrome".

[PogoStick]

I agree. Stereotypes aren't born from nothingness. In the US, are black women more overweight than white women? Sorry, it's a stereotype born from fact. However, statistics and stereotypes don't describe individuals. There are 150 MILLION women in the US, and 3.5 billion around the world. Surely you can find 1 girl who shares mutual attraction.

 

To the stereotype of American women, there are already entire forums dedicated to your plight. If you wish to join them, check out Red Pill, ReturnOfKings, and RooshV 42 things wrong with American Women.

 

I'd say there are certain truths to their complaints. Toxic feminist misandry has tainted all of American culture, even in women who do not subscribe to those beliefs. It has changed the entire American psyche. Just venture over to Jezebel and check it out.

 

Misandry combined with the rise of the female economy means men are no longer needed. General American affluence means a girl is endowed with a princess syndrome; a girl who is always getting what she wants from daddy: shoes, clothes, smartphones, cars, grows up in a nice house, taking vacations, Prom and dresses. Even relatively poor girls are still spoiled by their parents. It's only natural for parents to do so.

 

For years I managed agricultural labor that mainly employed teenagers. There were 10 boys for every girl. Don't girls need money too? Sweet talking to daddy is far easier. Guys wanted to make money and would work hard to do so. The few girls who joined typically complained non-stop and half-assed the work they did. Who did well? The girls from poor immigrant families (and of course, the 1st generation boys too). It's no surprise.

 

You get the picture. Add in the celebrity culture: superficial, photoshopped, brain-dead, where Kardashians garner far more attention than climate change, pollution, poverty, hunger, and disease. Raise those same girls with Disney princess fairy tales and ridiculous romantic comedies where the guy is a slave to do anything necessary to win her love.

 

The entire culture is setup from birth to raise women with an oversized ego that they cannot realistically fill.

 

That being said, go back to my introduction. Stereotypes do not describe individuals and there are 150 million women in the US to chose from. Certainly you can find a small pocket of paradise that is filled with women who have survived mostly unscathed from the apocalypse I described.

Edited June 22, 2015 by PogoStick

[BlueIris]

He came back with, "Yeah, I feel sorry for you, man. I've heard that American women are tremendously superficial." Obviously , this is a generalization, and I certainly know some superficial men in my little world, but from my [straight, male] side of the dating table, it sure does feel out of balance. It's ridiculously difficult to get a break, it seems, and I ain't a bad looking / out-of-shape / broke / unconfident guy.

 

It is a bit disconcerting to hear that American women are infamous for being more than a bit vapid. It's funny, I see all sorts of reasonably decent women with less than "GQ perfect" guys, but most of the single women I come across out there seem so fickle and insufferable.

 

Fickle has a pretty clear meaning to me but superficial, vapid and insufferable are not that clear to me. They seem to be opinions based on one’s own preferences.

 

This is awful maybe, but I’m going to do it anyway. To go with the stereotyping… I dated in Arizona but am not from Arizona. I had a terrible time of it and I couldn’t figure out what it was. I just didn’t understand or connect with Arizonans when I dated there. It tied me in knots for a couple of years. So anyway, once I read Colin Woodard’s book, American Nations, I found out why, at least in part- I was in a very different culture than I had grown up in and than I understood. We didn't share outlook on life, even if we did seem to align in politics, arts, work and income, level of education, fitness level, and things like that. Maybe you’d find the book helpful. It isn’t a slam against any of the eleven cultures or nations of North America but I found that it described the cultural difference that I’d felt.

 

Edited to add: Reading that book might be worthwhile to anyone in any place in N.A. that they feel out of place and just can't seem to connect with the locals.

Edited June 22, 2015 by BlueIris

[mrs rubble]

I bet your Aussie friend wasn't telling you about the reputation of the Aussie male!! They are quite notorious with us kiwi neighbours...I married one!!

[hudson701]

I agree. Stereotypes aren't born from nothingness. In the US, are black women more overweight than white women? Sorry, it's a stereotype born from fact. However, statistics and stereotypes don't describe individuals. There are 150 MILLION women in the US, and 3.5 billion around the world. Surely you can find 1 girl who shares mutual attraction.

 

To the stereotype of American women, there are already entire forums dedicated to your plight. If you wish to join them, check out Red Pill, ReturnOfKings, and RooshV 42 things wrong with American Women.

 

I'd say there are certain truths to their complaints. Toxic feminist misandry has tainted all of American culture, even in women who do not subscribe to those beliefs. It has changed the entire American psyche. Just venture over to Jezebel and check it out.

 

Misandry combined with the rise of the female economy means men are no longer needed. General American affluence means a girl is endowed with a princess syndrome; a girl who is always getting what she wants from daddy: shoes, clothes, smartphones, cars, grows up in a nice house, taking vacations, Prom and dresses. Even relatively poor girls are still spoiled by their parents. It's only natural for parents to do so.

 

For years I managed agricultural labor that mainly employed teenagers. There were 10 boys for every girl. Don't girls need money too? Sweet talking to daddy is far easier. Guys wanted to make money and would work hard to do so. The few girls who joined typically complained non-stop and half-assed the work they did. Who did well? The girls from poor immigrant families (and of course, the 1st generation boys too). It's no surprise.

 

You get the picture. Add in the celebrity culture: superficial, photoshopped, brain-dead, where Kardashians garner far more attention than climate change, pollution, poverty, hunger, and disease. Raise those same girls with Disney princess fairy tales and ridiculous romantic comedies where the guy is a slave to do anything necessary to win her love.

 

The entire culture is setup from birth to raise women with an oversized ego that they cannot realistically fill.

 

That being said, go back to my introduction. Stereotypes do not describe individuals and there are 150 million women in the US to chose from. Certainly you can find a small pocket of paradise that is filled with women who have survived mostly unscathed from the apocalypse I described.

 

This. 100%.

 

One of the most insightful posts I've read. Well done sir.

 

It is EXACTLY the same for UK women. The 'have it all' mentality is destroying dating as we know it today. Men are seen as some inconvenience, especially afte marriage and a few babies have been banged out. Hence the rocket high divorce rates mostly initiated by women. There will be a lot middle aged women wondering where it all went wrong at some point.

[SycamoreCircle]

I've heard that in Japan taking a selfie is a huge faux-pas because it's considered narcissistic. Instead, a dating profile might have a pic of a rice cooker.

 

I could totally get excited over a strange woman's pressure cooker.:love:

[Els]

I've heard that in Japan taking a selfie is a huge faux-pas because it's considered narcissistic. Instead, a dating profile might have a pic of a rice cooker.

 

I could totally get excited over a strange woman's pressure cooker.:love:

 

Are you kidding me? Japanese girls are crazy about selfies! Many of them post selfies on a daily basis on their social media. And nobody puts up a rice cooker as their profile picture.... not even the married housewives!

 

I'm afraid whoever told you that is trolling you.

[SycamoreCircle]

Are you kidding me? Japanese girls are crazy about selfies! Many of them post selfies on a daily basis on their social media. And nobody puts up a rice cooker as their profile picture.... not even the married housewives!

 

I'm afraid whoever told you that is trolling you.

Don't be afraid. Watch Jon Stewart talk with Aziz Ansari at 18:00. June 16, 2015 - Aziz Ansari - The Daily Show - Full Episode | Comedy Central

[impatiently_patient]

Well, I gotta say, I'm pretty regretful I even posted this thread, reading a lot of these nonsensical, accusatory posts, against women, men, different nations' denizens, and myself.

 

I was merely echoing what my Aussie friend (who's really a nice person, I swear) said he had heard in his international travels with respect to my frustrating experiences with trying to meet/find interested women in the U.S. (I have lived in both Phoenix and Portland over the last few years). Apparently, I'm bitter, self-entitled, and anti-intellectual. My bad for thinking that once in a few years, one in thousands of women around me might be interested in me. My apologies for attempting to have a minute bit of self-worth.

 

Impatiently_Patient, She will walk into to your world when you aren't looking.

 

Trite, idealistic.....yes. You are articulate and engaging. Off the cuff it seems though you are frustrated, there are no bells clanging a woman off. You have a few intrigued even with your thread.

 

Thanks for the compliments.

 

The patience thing is a little tough to take as suggestion. I've heard the magic materializing love theory a lot over the last seven or eight years, but I'm 38 now and pretty aware of how fast I'm moving through my prime... with no options showing up anywhere. I feel like the clock it ticking on the pre-setttled phase of life.

[toscaroscura]

Well, I gotta say, I'm pretty regretful I even posted this thread, reading a lot of these nonsensical, accusatory posts, against women, men, different nations' denizens, and myself.

 

I was merely echoing what my Aussie friend (who's really a nice person, I swear) said he had heard in his international travels with respect to my frustrating experiences with trying to meet/find interested women in the U.S. (I have lived in both Phoenix and Portland over the last few years). Apparently, I'm bitter, self-entitled, and anti-intellectual. My bad for thinking that once in a few years, one in thousands of women around me might be interested in me. My apologies for attempting to have a minute bit of self-worth.

 

 

 

Thanks for the compliments.

 

The patience thing is a little tough to take as suggestion. I've heard the magic materializing love theory a lot over the last seven or eight years, but I'm 38 now and pretty aware of how fast I'm moving through my prime... with no options showing up anywhere. I feel like the clock it ticking on the pre-setttled phase of life.

 

Self-worth by posting your friend's second-hand generalizations about American women? That's odd. Does this mean that you must put others down to raise yourself up? I don't think that was the impression you were trying to achieve.

 

You're a very intelligent man, that much is obvious from your posts. Surely you knew that posting such a divisive thing serves to do nothing but stir the pot?

 

I'm going to be honest with you, you seem to be the type of man I would go for in real life. Brilliant, well-rounded, not afraid to speak his mind. But you also seem on edge; that's the feeling I get from your posts. Quick to be defensive and assume bad faith in others.

 

The other feeling I get is that you look down on other people, intellectually. You seem like the type of guy who would tell me to read a certain book, and then look down on me if I didn't. I feel like I'd have to constantly explain/defend myself and my thoughts to you.

 

I don't mean insults here. I'm not trying to be a b*tch. But you're asking why no success? So I am honestly telling you the feeling I get from your persona here, as a woman.

[S_A]

American women are not superficial. I am Eastern European (born in Los Angeles though; first generation).

 

Women just have more leverage in the modern world. So don't get butt hurt if they choose a guy that they perceive to "better". It has nothing to do with superficial.

Edited June 23, 2015 by S_A

[impatiently_patient]

Self-worth by posting your friend's second-hand generalizations about American women? That's odd. Does this mean that you must put others down to raise yourself up? I don't think that was the impression you were trying to achieve.

 

I wasn't trying to garner any self-worth by posting anything, nor put anyone down... merely to see what others had to glean from the exchange I had with my friend abroad.

 

I REALLY think it's being overlooked that any generalizations about American women were made by someone other than myself. Not my words. I only said as a single man in the U.S., finding interested women was extremely frustrating and perhaps played into what he said. Frankly, many of you insist that's not the case and I have no more reason to believe him over any of you.

 

You're a very intelligent man, that much is obvious from your posts. Surely you knew that posting such a divisive thing serves to do nothing but stir the pot?

 

I do not. It seems that many would like to drive the discussion in that direction, but I don't feel like I should be responsible for those who can't have an objective conversation about anything, be it race, culture, energy, international policy, etc. Do we all just stop talking because they want to turn it into a war of words?

 

I'm going to be honest with you, you seem to be the type of man I would go for in real life. Brilliant, well-rounded, not afraid to speak his mind. But you also seem on edge; that's the feeling I get from your posts. Quick to be defensive and assume bad faith in others.

 

I'm only defense because I'm seeing a lot of assumptive, accusatory things being directed at me... words being put in my mouth, tones being taken out of a written medium where tone is nearly impossible to derive.

 

The other feeling I get is that you look down on other people, intellectually. You seem like the type of guy who would tell me to read a certain book, and then look down on me if I didn't. I feel like I'd have to constantly explain/defend myself and my thoughts to you.

 

And how would that differ from constantly explaining/defending myself to you making assumptions about me based on "feelings" you're getting, again, in a place where they don't really resonate (Internet forums).

 

For instance, I very rarely read books. I've read maybe two in the last three years or so. And I consider myself of very average intelligence. If you want to know, ask.

 

I don't mean insults here. I'm not trying to be a b*tch. But you're asking why no success? So I am honestly telling you the feeling I get from your persona here, as a woman.

 

None taken. I don't get the feeling I'm being insulted at all. Accused of things without inquiry, yes. Insulted, no.

 

Maybe the point of forum discussion is letting people think what they will about you, letting them verbally beat up on you, and feel like they've won or whatever... that's the "feeling" I often get in these types of places. I don't know, though. I really don't.

[impatiently_patient]

American women are not superficial. I am Eastern European (born in Los Angeles though; first generation).

 

Women just have more leverage in the modern world. So don't get butt hurt if they choose a guy that they perceive to "better". It has nothing to do with superficial.

 

I don't believe I said anything about any women who chose anyone over me.

[Satu]

When we want something and don't get it, its best to take stock of oneself and ones assets, and see how they can be put to the best use, or added to.

 

Sometimes we have to change, because who we are now doesn't have the necessary assets to achieve the desired goal.

 

Blaming someone else, in this case - American women, doesn't take us one step forward.

 

Its a defence mechanism that looks like this:

 

"It isn't me, its them."

 

Thats projection.

 

It quells the cognitive dissonance for a while, but it doesn't move you forward.

 

Blaming somebody else is disempowering.

 

Accepting responsibility, is empowering.

 

I can't change them, but I can change me.

 

Thats the empowerment.

 

If I write a book and nobody likes it, I can blame them: "They didn't understand it," or I can accept the fact that my book doesn't appeal to people, and seek to become a better writer.

 

 

In any case, I wish you luck in finding a partner.

 

Keep looking and you may get what you want.

[S_A]

I don't believe I said anything about any women who chose anyone over me.

 

You're certainly not mistaken, you did not. I am just implying that people may confuse empowerment for superficiality (this a word, lol).

[normal person]

American women are not superficial. I am Eastern European (born in Los Angeles though; first generation).

 

Women just have more leverage in the modern world. So don't get butt hurt if they choose a guy that they perceive to "better". It has nothing to do with superficial.

 

This is a very good point. I think we need to keep in mind that attitudes are relative to environment. Every culture has its own context. I'm no sociologist, but the way I see it, America is an aspirational society, it's embedded in our cultural DNA. We're all descended from immigrants who chased "more" or "better" than what they had and getting it is a sign of success here.

 

This creates a survival of the fittest mentality, especially in the dating world. A lot of the guys I see struggling are the guys who don't want to put in the effort to keep pace with the rest of the pack and wonder "why can't women just like me the way I am?" There are a lot of possible answers, but as I see the big answer is: women have a lot of leverage because they can grant access to something men want (sex), and there are plenty of aspirational, successful, driven, non-complacent men who can give women what they want: security, resources, etc. So women will naturally want to capitalize on the demand for what they have that's in short supply. Why would a women settle when she could have "more" or "better?"

 

That's the way I see America. No one's going to give you sympathy or the benefit of the doubt. You can always better yourself. You'll have to do things you don't want to get things you do want. Go to the gym more, make more money, start a side business, etc. There's always someone trying harder than you so you can't lose a step to him, or else he's going to get "it."

 

 

I've never been more ashamed for my country.

 

You must not read the news very often.

[SycamoreCircle]

If I write a book and nobody likes it, I can blame them: "They didn't understand it," or I can accept the fact that my book doesn't appeal to people, and seek to become a better writer.

Or...you can wait 20 years...or even until you're dead for someone to discover your book and hail you as the voice of your time.

 

That's why I feel, largely, "self-improvement" is malarkey.

[toscaroscura]

I wasn't trying to garner any self-worth by posting anything, nor put anyone down... merely to see what others had to glean from the exchange I had with my friend abroad.

 

I REALLY think it's being overlooked that any generalizations about American women were made by someone other than myself. Not my words. I only said as a single man in the U.S., finding interested women was extremely frustrating and perhaps played into what he said. Frankly, many of you insist that's not the case and I have no more reason to believe him over any of you.

 

True, they were not your words, but you posted it with the hopes people would agree with your frustrations? Let's not be disingenuous here. You could have posted a thousand different ways about your frustrations but chose an inflammatory generalization. That choice says a lot!

 

 

I do not. It seems that many would like to drive the discussion in that direction, but I don't feel like I should be responsible for those who can't have an objective conversation about anything, be it race, culture, energy, international policy, etc. Do we all just stop talking because they want to turn it into a war of words?

 

There are no wars here, and I have found plenty of people on either side of this debate objective. Claiming that people disagreeing aren't being "objective" is actually a red flag for me, personally. That's one of those buzzwords people throw out to invalidate other people's viewpoints. I may get angry with someone, I may tell them they are wrong and I disagree with them, but I will never tell anyone they can't be objective.

 

 

I'm only defense because I'm seeing a lot of assumptive, accusatory things being directed at me... words being put in my mouth, tones being taken out of a written medium where tone is nearly impossible to derive.

 

I think people were reacting to the insulting statement about American women, and yes, making assumptions about the kind of man you are who seems to, if not espouse these views, certainly condones them. Text is a bad medium, but it's really all anyone has here.

 

And how would that differ from constantly explaining/defending myself to you making assumptions about me based on "feelings" you're getting, again, in a place where they don't really resonate (Internet forums).

 

You don't have to explain or defend anything to me. You are who you are and feelings are what they are.

 

Maybe the point of forum discussion is letting people think what they will about you, letting them verbally beat up on you, and feel like they've won or whatever... that's the "feeling" I often get in these types of places. I don't know, though. I really don't.

 

See, I've been posting here a while and I have never felt like people beat up on me, to win at all costs. Your feelings are valid, but the experiences we have in these places are determined by the way we conduct ourselves. If I started posting inflammatory threads about men, or being more combative to other posters, you can bet my experience would change! I am not saying you're being combative in general, but maybe realize that people are reacting to what you post and not necessarily you as a human being.

[Vercetti]

My wife considers many women ( girls ) vapid, yet we also consider a great many guys useless mouth breathers. For every girl that thinks she was born to be a pin up model, there is some stupid bloke in cargo shorts a t shirt with a ballcap and wrap around rainbow sunglasses, that thinks he deserves a pin up model.

 

Zero point here.

[Satu]

Or...you can wait 20 years...or even until you're dead for someone to discover your book and hail you as the voice of your time.

 

That's why I feel, largely, "self-improvement" is malarkey.

 

That 20 year wait might come up trumps, but it's an awfully long time to wait for something that might never happen.

 

I don't think that learning a new language, or a musical instrument is 'malarkey.'

 

I also don't think that commitment to ongoing education and growth is 'malarkey' either.

 

Its served me well in building an absolutely fantastic life that I love.

 

Each to their own - we all get to choose.

Edited June 23, 2015 by Satu