misspond Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 (edited) Through a combination of being on OLD, getting out there IRL, being set up by friends IRL, ("You're funny and interesting to talk to but....") being older and just being generally chatty when I'm out and about I've suddenly come to a point of epiphany. Nuts. I'm not pretty, and not "built" (I have the figure of a fifteen year old boy), but I do have a lot to "bring to the table" as in I have kids but work, can talk you under the table....which means I can talk about random nonsense, I earn my own money, don't need a dad for the kids, don't want a husband but want more than a ONS or a FWB. But I'm not flirty because "I'm not pretty and not built." And i'm not going to snog some man in a bar. So the random offers of sex I get are based on, "She'll not get a better offer....." (I don't take them up. I might think about it for 5 seconds but I always refuse). I don't even know what to do anymore. (Sorry for sounding like the loser men who post here frequently who think that women have it made.) Edited June 21, 2015 by misspond
Davey L Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 Hmm you don't want marriage, and I assume you include permanent relationships in that, and you don't want ONS or FWB either. What do you want then? I'm guessing that most men in your age range will be looking either for the ONS or the long term relationship. Guys may also be put off if you are ferociously independent too. A man needs to feel that he is needed for something even if only to change the light bulbs and stuff like that. It may not be so much what you do or don't bring to the table as whether the guy thinks you want or need what he has to bring to the table. If you are lookung at guys 30+ then I suspect your looks (and I'm sure you look better than you give yourself credit for by the way) have relatively little to do with it.
Author misspond Posted June 23, 2015 Author Posted June 23, 2015 I wouldn't say that I'm not looking for a long term relationship, I'm just not chasing getting married or even living with someone (because, "been there and done that" in a 10 year relationship that obviously didn't go the distance). But I wouldn't rule it out if I met someone and that kind of relationship developed. I'm just not getting to meet men who appear to be looking for anything other than a ONS - well, other than the one who after our first date bombarded me with texts, love-songs and invited himself out with me and the kids. Easy tiger! Admittedly I probably need to work on my self-esteem a bit more; I'll confess I panic a little when someone gets overtly flirty with me and have a habit of running away, but I don't think that that's a bad thing to do if by, "overtly flirty", what they're doing is offering sex?
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