yellowhibiscus Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 So, I'm going through an end of a 3.5 year relationship. Things were really really good the first year. I thought he was the one, etc. For the past year, he had been gradually getting more distant, easily frustrated with me. He even told me once in a fight to "go f*** myself", called me a bitch, and an idiot. This in turn would make me extremely frustrated and sad most of the time. We lived together and we tried to make things work and I know he probably stayed as long as he did because he was comfortable with me. We broke up recently..it was like one day he acted like he wanted to be with me and then the next day he didn't. He moved out already but left almost everything except clothes. After 3.5 years just can move on like that...He wants nothing to do with me, anytime I tried to reach out to him he would just get pissed off so naturally I've stopped talking to him. He defriended me on facebook but still has all of our pictures up. I knew for awhile that he was not in love with me anymore but it still is just so hard to understand. Logic says move on, find someone who actually likes you. But the rejection piece is just so heartbreaking. I want to block him so badly and remove his phone number from my phone but am just having the hardest time doing so. Please please tell me it gets better....I'm 32 and have been in other relationships but not like this.
tangotango Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 I'm 32... When other relationships have broken up they were quite easy because they were less than a year and we were not living together. I'm going through a break up now - we lived together for 6.5 years - been together 7. tomorrow marks the 7 week anniversary of her leaving. Largely due to my own faults which I have sorted now since she left ironically. I have cried a few times today in work - I cannot stop thinking of her today... Its hard. Finally I am trying No Contact after clearly doing everything wrong the last 7 weeks... But it is so so difficult - I want to text but I cant... We are still in a relationship on both Facebook accounts - I cannot bring myself to be the first to remove this? She has left all her stuff in our house... We have 7 years of things we have got together...? Its difficult - it really is but you have to muscle through this. In my situation - I know we have to meet and talk again in the future because we have to give the house back early next year. She will have to sort her stuff and we will have to have that discussion over who keeps what in the house... But until then - I want her to miss me (if she does at all)... afterall she dumped me. As well as missing me - I need to heal... like you do. Something which feels like it will never happen. But it is true - it does get easier... Be strong!
na49 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 I think you should block him on social media for your own sanity. The reason it's so hard is because you are cutting any ties to him. The reality is that what does this connection to him even mean now? You're broken up, so you're basically holding onto something broken. It isn't easy, but I believe it's necessary because the pain of the breakup is bad enough. You don't need to "accidentally" see him loving his life without you, possibly with his arms around another girl. Removing his number shouldn't be too difficult, because he'd still be able to call you if he wanted to, and I'm sure you know his number, so you'd be able to call him too. If he wants nothing to do with you, then give him just that. It does get better when you try to make it better. If you need to mourn your loss, and don't feel ready to make major changes, you don't need to do that right away. Time + being active seem to be the best ways to get out of the post breakup funk. 1
Author yellowhibiscus Posted June 21, 2015 Author Posted June 21, 2015 Thank you for the responses...I just blocked him on facebook. Right after I did that though, his band's page (which I forgot that I had "liked" )just posted pictures of their past show....so I had to see that I am hoping this will help me not to focus so much on what he is doing. Unfortunately I can't remove his number yet because we have an internet bill to work out (the internet was in his name). Once that is done I am hoping to be disconnected for good. It is just far too painful.
JollyDays Posted July 2, 2015 Posted July 2, 2015 Please block him and move on. Like na49 said, nothing good can come from it. I hate social media, because it's as if they're ALWAYS there. Just 10-15 years ago, when a breakup occurred, the only way you could stay in touch was through emails, phone calls, and letter writing (that seems so archaic now). In any event, I hope you stay strong and make it through this. Well, you will.
aloneinaz Posted July 2, 2015 Posted July 2, 2015 Thank you for the responses...I just blocked him on facebook. Right after I did that though, his band's page (which I forgot that I had "liked" )just posted pictures of their past show....so I had to see that I am hoping this will help me not to focus so much on what he is doing. Unfortunately I can't remove his number yet because we have an internet bill to work out (the internet was in his name). Once that is done I am hoping to be disconnected for good. It is just far too painful. It sounds like the relationship ran it's course and he lost further interest. It happens all the time. Yes, it sucks but when the hurt is over for you, you'll see clearly that the R/S wasn't that great and it was the best thing. You need to not only work out any bills but give him a firm deadline to remove HIS items from your place. You need to get distance between him and you. Leave NO reason for him to contact you again. Go thru the place and round up EVERYTHING of his. If he fails to pick up his stuff, call Goodwill and donate it to them. You owe him nothing now like he owes you nothing. Cleanse your place and life of any reminders. BLOCK all social media. You need the out of sight out of mine mentality. The longer you keep having limited contact, the longer it's going to take you to heal from this. 1
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