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Posted

Hi guys!

 

I wasn't going to post this, but i thought it is my time to give back. For those of you who have followed my story over the past 4 months, you will be happy to read this.

 

I have reached complete indifference towards the ex, and not only am i happy, i am happier than i have been in years.

 

The ex contacted me yesterday, and i was too busy having fun and enjoying my life to even bother to reply to her - it felt like a chore. I have absolutely no feelings left for her and genuinely just want her to be happy with her new life.

 

Even just a month ago, i was obsessively ruminating over the breakup for atleast 8 hours a day and breaking down in tears at least twice a day. I would NEVER have believed someone if they told me i would be fine in a months time.

 

Time heals all and gives you a better perspective.

 

My advice to anyone who is suffering from heartbreak is to just KEEP busy. Do what you have to do during the wallowing phase, but at some point you need to make the decision to actively seek happiness without that person in your life.

 

Good luck everybody.

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Posted

p.s - Thank you so much to everyone that offered me advice and read all of my posts. Words cannot describe how much you all helped me through the dark times. This forum is amazing.

Posted

Maverick, I think that's great and I'm glad you were able to move on. I'm seriously thinking you "ruminating over the breakup for atleast 8 hours a day and breaking down in tears at least twice a day" helped. There are those who say letting it out is the best medicine.

 

For me, it is coming up on a year and while 97% of the time I'm fine or can act fine, there is the 3% where I really get sad or mad or just pine. That's not a happy admission, it just "is."

 

I have shoved it aside and ignored it as much as possible. That helps too and gives immediate relief, but long term it's not so valuable. That said, the more time that goes by ignoring the loss, the less painful (slightly) it is when it rears its ugly head again.

 

I do applaud your positive post and your progress. I hope it continues!

 

Ken

Posted

I get sad also, I'm very close totwo years since the breakup.

 

A day doesn't go by that I don't think of how she made me feel

while we were together, but it is what it is now. I learned to cope.

 

That being said, don't unbuckle yourself just yet.

 

Epiphanies always have relapses. There is no moment when you

say you're moved on now . You just realize you've been living your

life for some time now regardless of how crappy you might feel

sometimes.

Posted

I'm coming onto 7 weeks post B/U tomorrow.

 

 

When friends said 'it will get easier' I did not believe them - but it does.

 

 

I miss her like crazy. I have had breakdowns in work and time off with stress because I couldn't cope with dealing with the two things.

 

 

We still have a house together?? I still have a house full of everything we built up over 7 years together.

 

 

97% of her stuff is still in our house - most right where she left it...

 

 

Weirdly - I feel better in the evenings when I get home from work. I don't tend to think about it as much at all?? Maybe there is a sense of 'normality' because everything is still there? I don't know.

 

 

Its in the morning when it burns me up at the moment - I sleep in the same bed - and she is simply not there anymore.

 

 

We have talked, argued, text and had some fun conversations since break up - but she is still not interested in coming back and has declared it is over.

 

 

I am in N/C since Thursday afternoon. God knows I am tempted to send her a message or call her but it will be too painful

 

 

The only thing I had left to change either about myself or about our 'situation' after she left was to ask her to marry me... post B/U.. lame right.

 

 

I have adopted every change she could have wanted... Still not interested.

 

 

I ordered the engagement ring she would have wanted after B/U - I don't know why? It kinda felt like the thing to do I guess.

 

 

She found out about this in advance of me getting any chance to see her and she still was not interested although I felt it knocked her back a little as she didn't think I was serious...

 

 

I have sent the ring back - I told her that before N/C and have left it there.

 

 

Its clearly finished. Maybe one day who knows what she may do but I fear I may have moved on then.

 

 

It was so hard in the first week... I didn't see it coming. I was a physical wreck...

 

 

I spilt my guts, declared my love... all the things you shouldn't do but its human nature I guess. I was one step from begging which I am glad I didn't do!

 

 

Week 2 - I couldn't cope in work so was off - like I said above - strangely it feels better being at home than in work away from home?

 

 

It does get easier. This morning I nearly had a little cry on the drive to work... Still thinking of her now.

 

 

She said in the week - she was looking at moving out of her mums - into a house share as she does not want to live alone but cannot carry on with her mum as she is driving her mad. Before we met - 7 years ago she was in a house share and had a knife put to her throat when one of the other tenents came in high and started kicking peoples bedroom doors in...? Her father had to go collect her off the street in the pouring rain at 3am and take her to the police station? I said to her - do you really want to go through that again?? Admittedly not all shares are the same obv but you do not know who you are sharing with do you...

 

 

Yet - here I am... a totally changed person, with a house we are both paying for full of all her belongings and our stuff... wanting to give it another go??? What else can I do to make her want to try again?

 

 

Who knows eh...

Posted
Hi guys!

 

I wasn't going to post this, but i thought it is my time to give back. For those of you who have followed my story over the past 4 months, you will be happy to read this.

 

I have reached complete indifference towards the ex, and not only am i happy, i am happier than i have been in years.

 

The ex contacted me yesterday, and i was too busy having fun and enjoying my life to even bother to reply to her - it felt like a chore. I have absolutely no feelings left for her and genuinely just want her to be happy with her new life.

 

Even just a month ago, i was obsessively ruminating over the breakup for atleast 8 hours a day and breaking down in tears at least twice a day. I would NEVER have believed someone if they told me i would be fine in a months time.

 

Time heals all and gives you a better perspective.

 

My advice to anyone who is suffering from heartbreak is to just KEEP busy. Do what you have to do during the wallowing phase, but at some point you need to make the decision to actively seek happiness without that person in your life.

 

Good luck everybody.

 

What if your ex didn't contact you??....

Posted
I'm coming onto 7 weeks post B/U tomorrow.

 

 

When friends said 'it will get easier' I did not believe them - but it does.

 

 

I miss her like crazy. I have had breakdowns in work and time off with stress because I couldn't cope with dealing with the two things.

 

 

We still have a house together?? I still have a house full of everything we built up over 7 years together.

 

 

97% of her stuff is still in our house - most right where she left it...

 

 

Weirdly - I feel better in the evenings when I get home from work. I don't tend to think about it as much at all?? Maybe there is a sense of 'normality' because everything is still there? I don't know.

 

 

Its in the morning when it burns me up at the moment - I sleep in the same bed - and she is simply not there anymore.

 

 

We have talked, argued, text and had some fun conversations since break up - but she is still not interested in coming back and has declared it is over.

 

 

I am in N/C since Thursday afternoon. God knows I am tempted to send her a message or call her but it will be too painful

 

 

The only thing I had left to change either about myself or about our 'situation' after she left was to ask her to marry me... post B/U.. lame right.

 

 

I have adopted every change she could have wanted... Still not interested.

 

 

I ordered the engagement ring she would have wanted after B/U - I don't know why? It kinda felt like the thing to do I guess.

 

 

She found out about this in advance of me getting any chance to see her and she still was not interested although I felt it knocked her back a little as she didn't think I was serious...

 

 

I have sent the ring back - I told her that before N/C and have left it there.

 

 

Its clearly finished. Maybe one day who knows what she may do but I fear I may have moved on then.

 

 

It was so hard in the first week... I didn't see it coming. I was a physical wreck...

 

 

I spilt my guts, declared my love... all the things you shouldn't do but its human nature I guess. I was one step from begging which I am glad I didn't do!

 

 

Week 2 - I couldn't cope in work so was off - like I said above - strangely it feels better being at home than in work away from home?

 

 

It does get easier. This morning I nearly had a little cry on the drive to work... Still thinking of her now.

 

 

She said in the week - she was looking at moving out of her mums - into a house share as she does not want to live alone but cannot carry on with her mum as she is driving her mad. Before we met - 7 years ago she was in a house share and had a knife put to her throat when one of the other tenents came in high and started kicking peoples bedroom doors in...? Her father had to go collect her off the street in the pouring rain at 3am and take her to the police station? I said to her - do you really want to go through that again?? Admittedly not all shares are the same obv but you do not know who you are sharing with do you...

 

 

Yet - here I am... a totally changed person, with a house we are both paying for full of all her belongings and our stuff... wanting to give it another go??? What else can I do to make her want to try again?

 

 

Who knows eh...

 

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