lostsoul6486 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 I'm crushed. I haven't eaten anything all day. All I've drank is two cups of water. We had been no contact for months. I posted here not too long ago because I felt like I might have been slightly depressed even after a fell year and a half since the break up. I felt a lot better after the post so I kind of just ignored it. I almost feel like the break up is happening all over again. I've worked so hard to just not know anything about her life or what she is doing. She initially texted me to wish me a happy birthday and then dropped this on me. Hell of a birthday present.
Bubberfly Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 I have no nice way of saying this... What a ***** thing to do. That seems like something my stupid ex would do. I don't really have any words of advice, other than I really do feel for you and I'm super sorry. If its any consolation, I really do hope it gets better for you. 4
robtmufc Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 To me this can be taken 2 ways she's either 1) not over you that she has to inform you that she's getting engaged, if you're on no contact and have nothing to do with each other I don't understand why she would want to share her life with you or 2) she's just a sh**ty person and wants to try and make you suffer even more as if she's trying to say "look i won i got engaged first" but that also means she's kind of childish to do such a thing and her marriage won't last long. Good luck and keep your head up man its tough but you'll find someone out there! 2
Author lostsoul6486 Posted June 21, 2015 Author Posted June 21, 2015 To me this can be taken 2 ways she's either 1) not over you that she has to inform you that she's getting engaged, if you're on no contact and have nothing to do with each other I don't understand why she would want to share her life with you or 2) she's just a sh**ty person and wants to try and make you suffer even more as if she's trying to say "look i won i got engaged first" but that also means she's kind of childish to do such a thing and her marriage won't last long. Good luck and keep your head up man its tough but you'll find someone out there! That's what gets me. I graduated from my university over six months ago so there hasn't even been the coincidental running into each other for six months. I posted on here about one time where she texted me and I didn't answer. This time, she texted to wish me a happy birthday and I decided to not be a jerk and respond with a thank you. She then started small talk about how I liked my new job and whatnot which I made very obvious I wasn't into with short, one to two word responses. Then she sent the bomb out of left field. To top it off, she led it with, "I know this probably won't affect you at all." Why the **** did you feel the need to tell me then? You are well aware that we haven't spoken in months and that I am completely disconnected from you when it comes to social media. I wish it made me more angry than hurt, but that's not the case. At least not at this moment.
Fleur de cactus Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 Continue to ignore her she only wants to check your reaction. Maybe she is not even engaged, she is looking to put you in her web again. I think blocking her should be a good way to do, because even if she is engaged or not, her attitudes is childish. She sounds like a kid competing with another kid and trying to make him jealous. Block her.
Author lostsoul6486 Posted June 21, 2015 Author Posted June 21, 2015 Continue to ignore her she only wants to check your reaction. Maybe she is not even engaged, she is looking to put you in her web again. I think blocking her should be a good way to do, because even if she is engaged or not, her attitudes is childish. She sounds like a kid competing with another kid and trying to make him jealous. Block her. The text itself was a novel that included an explanation of how myself and her new guy are the only men she has ever loved. She talked about how she will always love and care about me as if any of that is supposed to make me feel any better. She told me how I helped her grow and become a better woman. How is this supposed to be comforting? In the end of the text, she asked if I could still be part of her life because that is what she wants if possible. Does this woman think I'm made of stone?
Bubberfly Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 Does this woman think I'm made of stone? Nope. She thinks you're a nice backup plan in case it doesn't work with this supposed fiancée of hers. 1
Almond_Joy Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 Having her in your life is of no benefit to you right now. Just block her phone number. She doesn't seem to care about your well being at all.
thekarmacist Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 wow..what a rotten thing to do. i smell a rat: major bs. she's trying to gauge your reaction...and i doubt someone that selfish is ready or capable of being married. please relax, chortle LOUDLY at the low odds of success for that one actually happening (if it's even true) and go get a pizza. hang in there.
jen1447 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 The text itself was a novel that included an explanation of how myself and her new guy are the only men she has ever loved. She talked about how she will always love and care about me as if any of that is supposed to make me feel any better. She told me how I helped her grow and become a better woman. How is this supposed to be comforting? In the end of the text, she asked if I could still be part of her life because that is what she wants if possible. Does this woman think I'm made of stone? Has anyone considered the possibility that she may be genuine? Anyway I don't mean to dump on you but this could have been avoided if you'd actually blocked her ....any particular reason you didn't?
Jonp219 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 (edited) I'm crushed. I haven't eaten anything all day. All I've drank is two cups of water. We had been no contact for months. I posted here not too long ago because I felt like I might have been slightly depressed even after a fell year and a half since the break up. I felt a lot better after the post so I kind of just ignored it. I almost feel like the break up is happening all over again. I've worked so hard to just not know anything about her life or what she is doing. She initially texted me to wish me a happy birthday and then dropped this on me. Hell of a birthday present. Honestly, that was incredibly selfish of her to do whether she was genuine or not. I would of told her to go **** herself and hope to God her marriage fails. Jesus Christ what a cunt, only a bitch who's trying to get a rise out of you would send you a message like that. Obviously she's not over you if she has to send you that sugarcoated bull****. Edited June 21, 2015 by Jonp219
Author lostsoul6486 Posted June 21, 2015 Author Posted June 21, 2015 (edited) Has anyone considered the possibility that she may be genuine? Anyway I don't mean to dump on you but this could have been avoided if you'd actually blocked her ....any particular reason you didn't? I take full responsibility for not blocking her number. I've always found that to be dumb and childish for some reason. I did unfollow her on all social media and tell her to leave me alone before we went NC though. Edited June 21, 2015 by lostsoul6486
BC1980 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 The text itself was a novel that included an explanation of how myself and her new guy are the only men she has ever loved. She talked about how she will always love and care about me as if any of that is supposed to make me feel any better. She told me how I helped her grow and become a better woman. How is this supposed to be comforting? In the end of the text, she asked if I could still be part of her life because that is what she wants if possible. Does this woman think I'm made of stone? She probably feels some guilt that she is engaged. Whether or not the guilt is warranted. . . . probably not unless she cheated. But there it is. She has the normal reaction of guilt because she feels happy, but she probably thinks you are miserable. She wanted to offload the guilt by contacting you to check on you, see if you are okay, play the nice ex. She wants to offload her guilt by getting you to accept the engagement and still be in her life. All of the stuff she said is not supposed to make you feel better. It's supposed to make her feel better if she can get you to accept it. I really was leaning towards her simply not being self-aware at all, but it takes something to text an ex to tell them you are engaged. You are either doing it maliciously or are a complete moron in matters of the heart. 1
BC1980 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 Has anyone considered the possibility that she may be genuine? I did consider that she is being genuine, and I'm leaning towards her not being malicious with her intent. But it's still a very bad way for her to cope with her emotions and completely lacking empathy. At best, I think she is immature and probably has no idea of the pain he went through after the breakup. I think she is saying all of this nice stuff to him to pump up her ego (albeit unknowingly to even herself), she can feel like the nice ex. Possibly she has some misplaced or misguided guilt over the fact that she has happily moved on while he has not. 1
Haydn Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 A crap thing to do. Whether genuine or not. Obviously ignore. Block her number now. 2
jen1447 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 I did consider that she is being genuine, and I'm leaning towards her not being malicious with her intent. But it's still a very bad way for her to cope with her emotions and completely lacking empathy. At best, I think she is immature and probably has no idea of the pain he went through after the breakup. I think she is saying all of this nice stuff to him to pump up her ego (albeit unknowingly to even herself), she can feel like the nice ex. Possibly she has some misplaced or misguided guilt over the fact that she has happily moved on while he has not. ^ I tend to agree. I do think most of the "evil bitch who just wants to drive a stake thru his heart" input here is a little over the top and reactionary. 1
Author lostsoul6486 Posted June 21, 2015 Author Posted June 21, 2015 Honestly, I don't know or care what her intent was. What gets to me is that we haven't spoken in six months and she feels it is necessary to tell me this for no reason. I don't care if she feels guilty. She should because she did cheat. Live with it. She swears she didn't, but what a coincidence that the guy who was one of the main reasons why we broke up in the first place is the first guy she dated a couple of weeks later. The only other time she texted me after I graduated was in January where she tried to reconcile and be friends again. I was in a way worse place back then so I didn't even answer. I later found out she had recently broken up with the aforementioned guy so I'm glad I didn't answer. Maybe she really was just trying to be friends, but that's pretty suspicious. This time, she texted to say happy birthday, which is fine. I said thank you and that's where the conversation should have ended, but it didn't. She tried to start small talk that I obviously didn't want to partake in. She asked like two or three questions which I answered with short but polite responses never once asking her anything about her life. After a couple of hours of no more texting, this wall of text comes in out of nowhere. Wtf? Seriously, it's as if she used the excuse of my birthday to contact me and tell me this. I get where everyone is coming from with the "block her" posts. I just don't want to seem as weak as I feel right now. I know some think that it's stupid, but that's just how I feel about it at the moment. 2
BC1980 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 Honestly, I don't know or care what her intent was. What gets to me is that we haven't spoken in six months and she feels it is necessary to tell me this for no reason. I don't care if she feels guilty. She should because she did cheat. Live with it. She swears she didn't, but what a coincidence that the guy who was one of the main reasons why we broke up in the first place is the first guy she dated a couple of weeks later. The only other time she texted me after I graduated was in January where she tried to reconcile and be friends again. I was in a way worse place back then so I didn't even answer. I later found out she had recently broken up with the aforementioned guy so I'm glad I didn't answer. Maybe she really was just trying to be friends, but that's pretty suspicious. This time, she texted to say happy birthday, which is fine. I said thank you and that's where the conversation should have ended, but it didn't. She tried to start small talk that I obviously didn't want to partake in. She asked like two or three questions which I answered with short but polite responses never once asking her anything about her life. After a couple of hours of no more texting, this wall of text comes in out of nowhere. Wtf? Seriously, it's as if she used the excuse of my birthday to contact me and tell me this. I get where everyone is coming from with the "block her" posts. I just don't want to seem as weak as I feel right now. I know some think that it's stupid, but that's just how I feel about it at the moment. Yeah, okay, now I'm going with her doing this on purpose to clear her conscience. Either way, you have every right to be angry. Anyone with half a brain realizes that you shouldn't be telling your ex that you're engaged. At first, I was thinking that maybe she was just that unaware and immature, but, after what you just said, I can't say that anymore. You really have to block this one. I didn't realize she has tried to contact you before in an attempt to be friends. She's definitely trying to offload the guilt and has no sense of boundaries. She made the decision to cheat, so it's up to her to bear out the consequences of that decision. 1
BC1980 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 I get where everyone is coming from with the "block her" posts. I just don't want to seem as weak as I feel right now. I know some think that it's stupid, but that's just how I feel about it at the moment. Seem weak to whom? What point are you trying to make, and you who are trying to make it to? As long as you are attempting to project an image to her, she still has a stranglehold over your life. There's not a thing wrong with blocking someone who has mistreated you and who does not respect boundaries. I blocked my ex for that very reason. He just wouldn't leave me alone, even when I had asked him to. He would come up with ways and reasons to keep a foothold in my life. It really doesn't matter if she sees you as weak. I know it seems like it matters a whole heck of a lot right now, but, in the long run, you aren't going to are one way or the other. 1
Author lostsoul6486 Posted July 15, 2015 Author Posted July 15, 2015 Seem weak to whom? What point are you trying to make, and you who are trying to make it to? As long as you are attempting to project an image to her, she still has a stranglehold over your life. There's not a thing wrong with blocking someone who has mistreated you and who does not respect boundaries. I blocked my ex for that very reason. He just wouldn't leave me alone, even when I had asked him to. He would come up with ways and reasons to keep a foothold in my life. It really doesn't matter if she sees you as weak. I know it seems like it matters a whole heck of a lot right now, but, in the long run, you aren't going to are one way or the other. Thank you for this. A couple of days after this post, she sent me a text that just said, "Hey." I didn't answer. It just made me angry. That's when I realized that you're right. What do I have to prove and to who? So I blocked her number. It's not a good feeling to love the wrong girl especially when she has hurt me as much as she has. I have to admit that although this didn't make me happy I did feel relieved. Despite my blocking, I found out she did indeed get engaged a few days ago. One of my friends told me. It's been a year and a half so everyone thinks I'm all good. Nobody knows I've even spoken to her since the break up. He was laughing about it and told me that she must have gotten knocked up because she had only been going out with the guy for a few months. For those of you on here who have had this type of conversation, it was a textbook, "She's crazy and you dodged a bullet," chat. I laughed about it too and brushed it off. It kinda sucked, but it was not as bad as I thought it would be. Maybe it was because I was kinda drunk when I found out. The few days after were not a walk in the park, but I got through them and was feeling a bit better. I mean, maybe I did dodge a bullet. I was her longest relationship at one year. Even longer than the guy she's currently engaged to apparently. I'm not saying you can't fall in love with someone in a few months, but getting engaged after such a short time and while still in school is a little much in my opinion. Idk why, but today hasn't been very good. Maybe it's because I dreamed about her last night. Some days are better than others. I just felt like venting this out today because it hasn't been great. 1
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