nadine5 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 Can someone give me some insight on this? I need sex at least once every two weeks, if not more. How do you long-distance relationshippers and virgins do it?! It just baffles me and I am just curious, not trying to be a jerk. 1
Torii Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 Honestly, when you have a connection with somebody, sex isn't the only way to achieve intimacy with them. There's more to relationships than sexual release of any kind. Learn this, and maybe you'll understand what I mean by the above post. It depends on your libido too, I suppose. More hormones, means more ability to want. 5
toscaroscura Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 Can someone give me some insight on this? I need sex at least once every two weeks, if not more. How do you long-distance relationshippers and virgins do it?! It just baffles me and I am just curious, not trying to be a jerk. I'd say virgins don't really know what they are missing. As far as long distance, when I really loved someone and had an amazing connection, for me it was easy. The hard part was keeping those feelings mutual. Long distance can be harder for some more than others. With the exception of my LDR, I need a strong, passionate sexual connection. I know this about myself. It's all well and good on an intellectual level to think I can just be happy with cuddles, but, for me, I NEED to feel passionately, sexually desired by my man. I have been in relationships where that was absent and I felt so empty and alone. 1
guest569 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 I'd say virgins don't really know what they are missing. Sort of, but it still feels like something is missing and not quite right, like the relationship isn't quite complete. And there is frustration and disconnectedness. That was my experience anyhow.
toscaroscura Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 Sort of, but it still feels like something is missing and not quite right, like the relationship isn't quite complete. And there is frustration and disconnectedness. That was my experience anyhow. True. I remember my virgin days, and it did feel like something was missing, But it was only on an intellectual level. I didn't really know what truly amazing sex felt like. I had never had that connection. While I could imagine it, it wasn't the same. Now that I have, I cannot imagine going back. 2
toscaroscura Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 You don't need sex at least once every two weeks, you want it. A lot of people also want to be with someone special. Sometimes that desire to find a connection with a special person can overcome other wants. This is true. I want both, and it can be hard sometimes, but I would rather be alone than just have meaningless sex. I have my vibrator. 1
casey.lives Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 Relationships are not all romantic, but romantic relationships without sex and deep conversations are lackluster, in my experience, and doom to fail. 1
Gloria25 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 I'm going on three years w/o getting any. How do I get by? Lots of masturbation... Thank your lucky stars that you actually have someone to do it with - even if it's not every day. I'd switch places with you in a heartbeat. Even when I was seeing someone, we didn't have sex all the time - but when we did get together - we sure made up for lost time The fun thing is you can build up anticipation and stuff - thus, making the sex when you see them more intense and something to sorta "prepare" for. I don't get some people. I bet ya if he were closer - like a lot of women - you'd be complaining that he wants it all the time.
joseb Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 I have lots of relationships without sex - with my family and with my friends. To me, what makes a romantic relationship different from others is sex. I also don't get LDRs - there are 7 billion people on the planet, unless you live in a jungle or dessert surely there is someone you like close enough that you don't need that. 3
Gary S Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 It's normal to have frequent sex in a romantic relationship. Only one in 1,000 LDR's work out. 1
loveweary11 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 (edited) Sex is absolutely, 100% secondary for me in a relationship. I don't expect to be masturbating while with someone in a serious way, but for the life of me, can't understand the popular opinion here that sex is the most important thing to everyone. If there was one thing I had to choose to be wrong with an otherwise perfect relationship, I'd say sex is it. Who cares? Hasn't everyone slutted around as much as I have? Sex...I've done it all and with lots of insanely hot girls... no big deal. It was hot at the time, but afterv a while, you're not doing anything new (to you) and the thrill wears off. I far prefer having the best possible match on an emotional level. Edited June 21, 2015 by loveweary11 2
Ninjainpajamas Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 They already have that for the most part...it's called marriage. Ask around, talk to people in real life.
guest569 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 Sex is absolutely, 100% secondary for me in a relationship. I don't expect to be masturbating while with someone in a serious way, but for the life of me, can't understand the popular opinion here that sex is the most important thing to everyone. If there was one thing I had to choose to be wrong with an otherwise perfect relationship, I'd say sex is it. Who cares? Hasn't everyone slutted around as much as I have? Sex...I've done it all and with lots of insanely hot girls... no big deal. It was hot at the time, but afterv a while, you're not doing anything new (to you) and the thrill wears off. I far prefer having the best possible match on an emotional level. I dont think sex is the most important thing, but it is essential. And no, not everyone has slutted it up haha. I've got much more in the tank yet 1
toscaroscura Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 Sex is absolutely, 100% secondary for me in a relationship. I don't expect to be masturbating while with someone in a serious way, but for the life of me, can't understand the popular opinion here that sex is the most important thing to everyone. If there was one thing I had to choose to be wrong with an otherwise perfect relationship, I'd say sex is it. Who cares? Hasn't everyone slutted around as much as I have? Sex...I've done it all and with lots of insanely hot girls... no big deal. It was hot at the time, but afterv a while, you're not doing anything new (to you) and the thrill wears off. I far prefer having the best possible match on an emotional level. You have mentioned before that you can't date a woman with anything less than a porn star body and you have very specific size requirements. I'm not saying this to be a jerk and you're entitled to your preferences, but it just seems like what you say here: "Sex is absolutely, 100% secondary for me in a relationship" contradicts these preferences. If emotional connection is truly #1 and sex is 100% secondary, why such stringent physical requirements? Perhaps I am defensive because I was with someone who said sex wasn't important. At first, it was nice to be connected in what felt like a deeper, more "legitimate" way. It seemed more evolved. He made arguments about if a spouse got paralyzed, etc. Plus, our sex life was good in the beginning despite his opinion about sex. But in a short time, he started to get lazy in bed. He didn't seem much concerned with my pleasure. When I would get frisky with him, he would almost begrudgingly accept. I struggled to understand; we started out so passionate. If I brought it up, he'd throw "well, I'm sorry sex is the most important thing for you!" at me, making me feel shallow and gross for my desires. I started feeling unattractive and like a desperate, slutty woman, while he sat atop the ivory tower of purity. He never offered much reason for his waning interest besides that he just wasn't horny and that sex "shouldn't" be the focus of a relationship. Much time has passed and looking back after lots of analysis, I realized that sex was a form of control for him, and he ended up being mentally abusive in other ways. for the life of me, can't understand the popular opinion here that sex is the most important thing to everyone It's not that sex is the only, most important thing ever. Only that, after dealing with that form of weird power play from my ex, I am not ashamed to say that sex IS important. I want to be desired. I want an eager partner who adores me and my body, health permitting for as long as we are both together. I don't think there is anything wrong or base about this, and it doesn't mean we don't value other things too. 1
kenmore Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 Most virgins are worried about their entire future because they are in school and must focus on their education / career so sex is "not a part of the big picture." Those of us who had it regularly and lost it, yeah it sucks! Now I have purposely abstained because my marriage vows mean something to me. That issue will be resolved in three more weeks or so, but then the problem of not having someone to do it with surfaces. Yeah, if I was Bill Clinton, I'd have someone lined up already! I admit I'm not as "on top of certain things" as I should be. Nadine, are you in a LDR? Why must you wait? Maybe it's not for you. I did a couple LDRs before and I know never to do it again. I'm good with a LDF AKA pen-pal, but I'll need someone to be romantic with right near my house. I won't even do the over twelve mile thing again. Max radius now? About six! Ken
loveweary11 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 (edited) I dont think sex is the most important thing, but it is essential. And no, not everyone has slutted it up haha. I've got much more in the tank yet I feel like maybe that's a big factor, actually. Other than very, very sex driven people (your Carries, Jens and Roberts), to me, once you've done it all, with the top people, it's just not a big deal. I've already had the best sex of my life... many, many times with several different girls that to me, put every single celebrity to shame in terms of looks. So what's next? I'm not going to achieve a new sexual peak I haven't already done several times over, so it becomes less important as a factor in a relationship. I feel that because of all of the experience I have essentially acting out porn with pornstar looking girls, I'm bound to not worry so much about sex in a relationship... because it's never going to be better than all the tons of it I've already had. It might be equal, but there is nothing new there. Just the same old repetitive stuff. So, strongly prefer the love side of the equation and the friendship/match stuff. Probably makes me a bad catch to the majority. Edited June 21, 2015 by loveweary11 1
kenmore Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 Robert is? I never saw that side of him. Thankfully!! LOL
Leigh 87 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 Sex is absolutely, 100% secondary for me in a relationship. I don't expect to be masturbating while with someone in a serious way, but for the life of me, can't understand the popular opinion here that sex is the most important thing to everyone. If there was one thing I had to choose to be wrong with an otherwise perfect relationship, I'd say sex is it. Who cares? Hasn't everyone slutted around as much as I have? Sex...I've done it all and with lots of insanely hot girls... no big deal. It was hot at the time, but afterv a while, you're not doing anything new (to you) and the thrill wears off. I far prefer having the best possible match on an emotional level. Some lucky couples I know of get the best sexual and emotional match. It's rare to be totally wildly attracted to your partner though. It'd usually more of a warm simmer than instant fireworks. I prefer to remain single than settle for the best emotional match that lacks the intense chemistry. I need both.
joseb Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 Sex is absolutely, 100% secondary for me in a relationship. I don't expect to be masturbating while with someone in a serious way, but for the life of me, can't understand the popular opinion here that sex is the most important thing to everyone. If there was one thing I had to choose to be wrong with an otherwise perfect relationship, I'd say sex is it. Who cares? Hasn't everyone slutted around as much as I have? Sex...I've done it all and with lots of insanely hot girls... no big deal. It was hot at the time, but afterv a while, you're not doing anything new (to you) and the thrill wears off. I far prefer having the best possible match on an emotional level. I'm not saying sex is the most important thing, I'm saying a relationship with NO sex isn't a romantic relationship for me. I've slutted it up a bit myself, and I agree sex isn't the only thing, or even the most important thing necessarily. But would you be happy in a relationship where there was no sex at all?
fitnessfan365 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 I found it funny that the OP talks about sex once every few weeks as if that is supposed to be a good sex frequency. I know married couples that have sex more than that..LOL My libido is ridiculously high. I mean I could easily have sex 3x a day-7 days a week. But I'd never expect a woman to meet that. After all, how I'm wired isn't her fault. So I think that sex 3-4 days a week is a good compromise when you're seeing someone regularly.
jen1447 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 Sex is absolutely, 100% secondary for me in a relationship. .... If there was one thing I had to choose to be wrong with an otherwise perfect relationship, I'd say sex is it. Who cares? Hasn't everyone slutted around as much as I have? Sex...I've done it all and with lots of insanely hot girls... no big deal. It was hot at the time, but afterv a while, you're not doing anything new (to you) and the thrill wears off. Major future BF incompatibility alert! Say it isn't so LW11.
Brigit Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 Major future BF incompatibility alert! Say it isn't so LW11. Don't ya got enough in your hive? LOL. Do you sleep?
jen1447 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 In all seriousness (and to the point of the thread, coincidentally), no. (I do sleep - don't get enough sex.) Because insane libido. To me sex is probably the #1 priority. I mean, there are givens like I can't hate you lol, etc., but aside from those yeah, sex is #1. It either sucks to me me or it's incredibly awesome to be me! 1
Brigit Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 In all seriousness (and to the point of the thread, coincidentally), no. (I do sleep - don't get enough sex.) Because insane libido. To me sex is probably the #1 priority. I mean, there are givens like I can't hate you lol, etc., but aside from those yeah, sex is #1. It either sucks to me me or it's incredibly awesome to be me! TBH sex isn't that important to me.
Recommended Posts