Brigit Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 Right now I have 4 romantic relationships, 3 women and 1 guy. I can also have sexual relationships with any other women I choose to. My BF can't do that, but my GFs can - again, with other women. ...that rocks! You ARE the Queen Bee aren't you? While I think women are beautiful they don't do it for me sexually. My ideal situation would be to live with about five men, all good-looking and completely devoted to me. I'd sleep with all of them but they would only sleep with me. I doubt I could convince five hot men to do this. But it would be nice. 1
Brigit Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 3 women Three women. Three weeks of PMS...God help you.
TaraMaiden2 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 My ideal situation would be to live with about five men, all good-looking and completely devoted to me. I'd sleep with all of them but they would only sleep with me. I doubt I could convince five hot men to do this. But it would be nice. A woman's ideal situation is to have a guy whose sense of humour cheers her up at any time of day. he can make her laugh, make her feel good, brighten her day and generally keep her in such a good mood, she's walking on air.... A guy who's so good around the house, she only has to say, damn, it's broken! And he will fix it. Expertly and capably; and he'll mow the lawn, put the trash out, use the washing machine and dishwasher with expert-ease and expertise, and bring her a nice cup of tea when she's home from work... A guy who's romantic, attentive, thoughtful and who remembers dates. He will send her roses on her birthday, forget-me-nots on Valentine's day and a warm cosy blanket at Christmas... he will wine, dine and fete her to her very heart's content with impromptu outings and surprise trips... A guy who rocks in bed. Who makes the universe, let lone the earth, move... who knows every goddamn fine trick in the book to bring her to the brink of ecstasy time and time again, and let her abandon herself sexually to all and every pleasure he can provide. But the most ideal situation for a woman is that these 4 guys never actually meet.... 3
Brigit Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 A woman's ideal situation is to have a guy whose sense of humour cheers her up at any time of day. he can make her laugh, make her feel good, brighten her day and generally keep her in such a good mood, she's walking on air.... A guy who's so good around the house, she only has to say, damn, it's broken! And he will fix it. Expertly and capably; and he'll mow the lawn, put the trash out, use the washing machine and dishwasher with expert-ease and expertise, and bring her a nice cup of tea when she's home from work... A guy who's romantic, attentive, thoughtful and who remembers dates. He will send her roses on her birthday, forget-me-nots on Valentine's day and a warm cosy blanket at Christmas... he will wine, dine and fete her to her very heart's content with impromptu outings and surprise trips... A guy who rocks in bed. Who makes the universe, let lone the earth, move... who knows every goddamn fine trick in the book to bring her to the brink of ecstasy time and time again, and let her abandon herself sexually to all and every pleasure he can provide. But the most ideal situation for a woman is that these 4 guys never actually meet.... No. I want them to live all under the same roof so I can keep an eye on them. So I will need a home with six bedrooms. I get the master suite and each guy gets their own bedroom. They will all have good jobs. My job will be to eat, sleep, workout and fu*k. Doesn't seem I'd have time for much else. 2
jen1447 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 ...that rocks! You ARE the Queen Bee aren't you? While I think women are beautiful they don't do it for me sexually. My ideal situation would be to live with about five men, all good-looking and completely devoted to me. I'd sleep with all of them but they would only sleep with me. I doubt I could convince five hot men to do this. But it would be nice. Never stop chasing your dreams hon. btw, would you sleep with all five men at the same time (more or less), or would they come and go in shifts? 1
jen1447 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 Three women. Three weeks of PMS...God help you. Hahaha true ....but believe me, the trade-offs make PMS insignificant. 1
Brigit Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 Never stop chasing your dreams hon. btw, would you sleep with all five men at the same time (more or less), or would they come and go in shifts? I guess I could do both? Sometimes all at once, sometimes private parties..IDK..I guess it's one of those wait and see kinda situations.
central Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 Finding people with whom there's real romantic love is difficult, so we've not actually found any such relationships since the one we had years ago. Eventually our partners moved on when they met more compatible people, and we were happy for them (and are still close friends). We're not actively seeking poly relationships, but are very open to one should it develop. Since we're so into each other, we feel only certain kinds of poly relationships would work for us: either a live-in situation so we don't have to schedule and divide our time too much, or a casual secondary romantic situation that allows us (as the primary relationship) to have most of our time just with each other. We do still like sexual variety, so have tried swinging, which serves to scratch that itch occasionally. One or two of those had some poly potential but didn't develop. One of my partners became a long term FWB, and we talked about entering a poly relationship as romantic feelings began to develop as well, but then she met someone for whom she quickly developed strong romantic feelings and since he wants monogamy, she is pursuing that. I think they're a good match, so I hope it works out for them.
jen1447 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 central, do you approach potential poly relationships as something both you and your wife would engage in - e.g. another women or a couple who you both have a romantic relationship with? I've always found that interesting bc to me the difficulty of managing multiple crossover relationships wold be phenomenal. (It's complicated enough for me to have 4 SOs, I can't imagine what it would be like if all for of them had romantic Rs with each other too.)
petertemplar Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 my need for openness is mainly due to having shall we say um an extremely high libido and an insatiable love and appreciation for all things female. (Bscly I made the decision some time ago that I simply wasn't going to make myself do without that in life, much like Leigh's feelings about her multiple guys.) Jen, Did you go into this relationship with those parameters or did you start out only being with him and then expanding out to the other GFs? Just curious. I'm married and we recently began exploring an open relationship. Which is obviously not poly but maybe shares some dynamics.
central Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 (edited) central, do you approach potential poly relationships as something both you and your wife would engage in - e.g. another women or a couple who you both have a romantic relationship with? I've always found that interesting bc to me the difficulty of managing multiple crossover relationships wold be phenomenal. (It's complicated enough for me to have 4 SOs, I can't imagine what it would be like if all for of them had romantic Rs with each other too.) We both engage, but separately. We are both straight, so I'd look for someone who is a romantic match for me, and she'd look for the same for her. It's hard enough to find anyone compatible, much less another couple - if that happens, great, but we don't even look for that. Ideally a metamour would be someone we like and get along with, but they only have to be someone we don't actually dislike and who doesn't cause problems between us (or other metamours if that situation arises). My wife and long-term regular FWB (that I mentioned earlier) get along very well, but aren't ever going to be close friends (perhaps due to large age and cultural difference). My wife was fine with the idea of my FWB transitioning to a romantic interest as well. She is presently much less interested in pursuing another relationship, but is open to one if it occurs. In our previous poly relationship, we both got along very well with the metamours, and they even got along well with each other but had no other connection other than a mutual passion for cooking. All of us spending holidays together was great! Edited June 21, 2015 by central 1
jen1447 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 Jen, Did you go into this relationship with those parameters or did you start out only being with him and then expanding out to the other GFs? Just curious. I'm married and we recently began exploring an open relationship. Which is obviously not poly but maybe shares some dynamics. When I got into my relationship w/my BF about 3 years ago, I already had a long history of openess (mainly with women), but I had decided to try to 'take a break' with that in the interest of possibly settling down so to speak, so things w/BF started out monogamous. He was fully aware of my sexuality and my history and my inclinations tho before we really got involved. Monogamy lasted about 2-3 months before I realized I just couldn't do it, at which point I let him know that and told him I was going to be open again and gave him the option to back out if he didn't like it (before I did anything). He was good with it tho and the rest is history. What's your relationship like open/poly-wise?
jen1447 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 We both engage, but separately. We are both straight, so I'd look for someone who is a romantic match for me, and she'd look for the same for her. It's hard enough to find anyone compatible, much less another couple - if that happens, great, but we don't even look for that. Ideally a metamour would be someone we like and get along with, but they only have to be someone we don't actually dislike and who doesn't cause problems between us (or other metamours if that situation arises). My wife and long-term regular FWB (that I mentioned earlier) get along very well, but aren't ever going to be close friends (perhaps due to large age and cultural difference). My wife was fine with the idea of my FWB transitioning to a romantic interest as well. She is presently much less interested in pursuing another relationship, but is open to one if it occurs. In our previous poly relationship, we both got along very well with the metamours, and they even got along well with each other but had no other connection other than a mutual passion for cooking. All of us spending holidays together was great! Thanks, that's more like I expected then. Thought for a minute there you were taking on a seemingly impossible load.
petertemplar Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 What's your relationship like open/poly-wise? It's very new! We have been married more than 20 years. We have kids. Definitely couldn't imagine a poly situation, but I recently broached the subject of her seeing other men. It was tough to bring that up because you fear some negative reaction. But it went over well. I'm actually surprised how receptive she has been. She has a pretty demanding career and she's naturally cautious. Again, I realize this is not polyamory but some overlap.
jen1447 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 Sure. Does her being w/other men get you aroused specifically? I've come to really dislike the "c-word" (let's say "hotwife" instead) but that sounds like it might be your thing. Seeing that all over the place now. Anyway congrats on her being interested.
petertemplar Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 Sure. Does her being w/other men get you aroused specifically? I've come to really dislike the "c-word" (let's say "hotwife" instead) but that sounds like it might be your thing. Seeing that all over the place now. Anyway congrats on her being interested. I don't quite see it like that. I specifically don't want it to be 'fetishized' where I'm setting rules and demanding play by play. I don't think it's unusual for either partner to be aroused by the reality or even fantasy of their partner with someone else. So are your 4 partners silo'd off from each other. Do the 'metamours' (I've learned some new words recently) know each other or interested in what goes on with the others.
jen1447 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 We're all good friends, yes, and there's even some sexual overlap. We're like a club really, only I'm the only one w/direct romantic relations with each of them. My one GF has a BF now (actually got back w/her ex, father of her two kids), and another has been seeing another woman. The third (and most recent) is solely focused on me right now. I don't think it's unusual for either partner to be aroused by the reality or even fantasy of their partner with someone else. That's all it really is at heart, and no there don't really have to be any fetish rules. And yes, it really is quite common it seems, altho that specific thing I see much more in men (wanting their women to sleep around). There's a convincing biological explanation for the whole hotwife mentality btw.
central Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 It's twisted orthogonally into a relationship dimension you simply don't understand. It's okay that it's not within your comprehension as no one is asking you to participate. In my view, monogamy is often more dysfunctional, but it does work - and even well - for many people. As poly does for others. I think having a variety of options is a good thing - not everyone can be happy or thrive with very limited options. 2
petertemplar Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 The anger that poly elicits in people on relationship boards is unreal. Like it magically affects their monogamous relationship. Note: not addressing above poster who might just be teasing.
xxoo Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 The anger that poly elicits in people on relationship boards is unreal. Like it magically affects their monogamous relationship. Note: not addressing above poster who might just be teasing. I think the idea reinforces fears that their partner might want to sleep with other people.
jen1447 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 ^ Yeah. There's also an element of "don't understand, must destroy!" intolerance involved a lot of the time, imo. 2
jen1447 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 That's true too, like in a 'community standards" sense. "How dare you live in a way we don't live? Not in this community!" 1
Author PogoStick Posted June 21, 2015 Author Posted June 21, 2015 "So did you think she was prettier than me???...Is she hotter than me???...You want her more don't you???" (I'd be a nightmare.) Actually in my experience, my two girls wanted me to be with hot girls. If I was interested in a less attractive girl they felt it reflected poorly on them, or that maybe they too were less attractive. What really surprised me regarding jealousy, was that they were comfortable with me going to a party even if they couldn't, or didn't want to go. We jumped into swinging together and I expected they would only want me to go as a couple, not solo. One often had to work nights or weekends, and the other had her son every other weekend. The next day they would want to know details if I hooked up. I had been conditioned to think girls were always jealous and not willing to share. It felt very strange and foreign when we were able to discuss things so openly and nobody freaked out. Those relationships felt more honest than any typical monogamous one.
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